Living the Dream

Living the Dream

Friday, November 2, 2012

Day Two- The storm before the calm

Whoa.

After unsuccessfully trying to figure out a way to reach through to my lovely, I finally opted to just not react.  She started the morning with tears and crying.  She quickly changed her tactic to threats and anger.  She vacillated back and forth so quickly, I am suffering from whiplash this evening.

DHS states that brothers and sisters cannot share a room in a foster home.  I have one bedroom but two beds.  Our caseworker pulled heaven down and worked some incredible miracles today, and made that happen.  Yay, brother is coming!

Didn't faze my out of control lovely.  I started counting "I don't want to be here" at 40 times, and at last count, she was to 177 times.

Talk about feeling out of my element.  I stayed on my computer and read articles, and tried to figure out what I could do to de-escalate my soon to be out of control lovely.

I read every manual in my garage that told me how to do all the things I needed to do... I read all the stages of grief in fostering and determined we had hit on all of them at some point.

In trying to get to the root of her sadness and escalating anger, she told me she didn't want to stay in my "Mansion" (who knew?), and that she hated my "crunchy" bed..  (dang my mom, for thinking we needed a mattress protector, that sucker went first thing this morning.).

Mainly, this little angry unhappy camper doesn't like how out of control her life is spinning.  And today, I got to be the brunt of her anger.  It was enlightening, and painful.  None of it was directed at me, and all of it was directed at me.

Staying calm freaked her out, because I don't think she has had any sense of calm ever.  She would try to get me to engage with her, and when I didn't, she would spiral even more out of control.

It was the funnest day of my life.

Caseworker found out that brother could come about 3 this afternoon, and as much as I rejoiced, I despaired, because at this point, I knew sister wasn't going to be able to stay.  My friend, Becky, came to my very needed rescue and viewed first hand my situation.

Whoa.

I had two million wonderful comments from two million wonderful friends, and I don't think I could have done today without that constant reassurance.   It was crazy.

When brother got here, followed in the door by her big sister and the caseworker, the LAW was laid down. All the sudden my angry, fighting hellcat, took one look at her sobbing little brother, and declared to the world, that she was ready to compromise.

SOO, tonight, we have two children.  I'm still not Vietnamese, and I still live in the mansion, but little brother is bringing a very needed sense of calm, and we are going to do the dang thang.  Big sister spent a long time talking to me about her pain, and I invited her to church at Lifechurch NW, right where she lives, and Brian Bruss, be looking for her.  I told her to find you.

Prayers are coveted, and the road is still a steep climb, but for right this second, we have a calm home.  I don't know what I would do without Hallie, because I am the enemy here, and she is the savior.  I am good with that, because she is a dang good one.  I really really could not do this without my incredible daughters.  Talk about a non ending source of encouragement.

This came first thing this morning from Lacey.  

I hope that peace will continue to reign this evening.   My lovely was coughing a lung up from all her hysteria, so I managed to sneak a benedryl in her.  I'm praying it doesn't work opposite on her, like it used to on Laynie, but hopefully in about an hour, she is going to be out for the count.

Brother is settling in well, and if lovely doesn't agitate him, we may be able to do this deal.  

I can do anything, through God that gives me strength.

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