Lately, I have written about my friends, my tv addiction, my "stuff", but most of it wasn't from that "Voice" in my head.
At my lifegroup, I tried to describe that voice, and one woman told me "It makes you sound crazy". Oh, cool, then I must be on to something.
I've been pretty open about reading my bible this year. I've told you about it, I've told my lifegroup about it, I've told just about anyone I talk to about it. Usually, because sometimes it is WAY over my head, and I'm looking for someone to give me some help (zoinks), but mainly, it's to say, "Hey this sinner is doing it, so can you".
I just finished Luke last night. I used to think that I knew the first 5 books of the New Testament, Matthew Mark Luke and John and Acts. "It's Jesus' story".
This year I have learned it is SO much more than that.
It tells the same thing over and over (at least 3 times so far), so hardheaded sinnin' grandmas can GET IT.
I watched a miracle happen, and my faith grew a hundredfold. I've watched my oldest daughter go through fire and grow into a magnificent (even more of one) Christian giant. I'm watching my middle daughter leave everything she knows and walk into the unknown to spread her love of Christ. I watch my youngest daughter ask her friends to know Jesus, like she does, because she is so filled with the spirit. It's amazing. Because we witnessed something we "cannot be silent about".
It talks over and over about the miracles Jesus performed when he walked the earth as a man. He healed the sick, he gave sight to the blind, he raised the dead. You hear it, you read it, but it doesn't sink in. I don't feel bad that it never sunk in before, because the stinkin disciples were RIGHT there, and they didn't get it. They watched all those miracles first hand, and still questioned everything about Jesus.
In the boat, Jesus sleeping, the waves start rolling in and even though they just spent the day watching Him healing people and feeding people, they get frightened and say "Teacher, we are going to drown in this sea...it is a bad storm".... and He wakes up (and I imagine, sighing, saying, these PEOPLE, what do I have to do???), gets OUT OF THE Boat, and walks on water....telling Peter to follow him. "Peter, come on in, you can do this, have I let you down yet?" and Peter walks on water.....then almost as fast as he believes, he starts to sink, because, DUH, WHO WALKS ON WATER? Jesus tells Peter, "You have to believe".
I remember Ketric Newell jumping up and down in our hospital room when we were told that Laynie had no brain. He passionately cried out to us 'YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE... GOD IS BIGGER THAN THIS DIAGNOSIS. HE CAN DO ANYTHING". and we started to "Get it". And our baby responded, and smiled, and laughed, and LIVED for 30 months. "YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE".
I've believed, and I have watched God take complete care of my family, and I'm finally giving credit to the one that credit is due. God is magnificent. Now that I know and I read and learn more, I'm filled with more awe than I can find words for. All that I have, and all that I know and all that I do, is for and through God.
As I read for the third time last night, how a rich man was so filled with God's love and asked Jesus, "What do I do to follow you?" and Jesus tells him, "You must leave all you have behind and follow me", and the bible says the man was filled with sadness, because he had a lot of money, and that was something he couldn't do. And the bible was very succinct in saying that a camel has an easier time going through an eye of a needle, than a rich man getting into heaven. That made my heart pound.
That doesn't mean you have to be poor. It means you have to be generous. It is a true fact, the more money I made, the less I tithed. Now that I make less money, I tithe more than ever. None of this life is about me, it's about what I can do for HIM, through ME.... and I find myself wanting to be more generous with my time, with all I have. It's not about EARTHLY stuff....it's about riches beyond our understanding. I find myself wanting to share His goodness through this blog, and when we talk. I am becoming weirder by the day. And WEIRD is good. I am understanding, even more than ever before, through Him, all things are ABSOLUTELY possible.
It's not just something to quote now, it's something to live.
|Tattoo it in your heart|