Thursday, March 5, 2015

Did you say MOO?

When I found out that Lacey was all set to attend her first childbirth class by herself, because Tyler was out of town with the men of the church, I offered up my services.

I remember 30 short years ago, when my mama accompanied me to my first childbirth class, big and pregnant with Lacey, because her dad was on TDY in some other state. 


I remember sobbing to my mom, on the way to the car after that first class, slightly hysterical by the scenes still graphically in my mind....."I'm NOT doing this!!!!!   I'm going to become an Elephant, and carry this baby TWO years!"  

And my mom's calm, assured,  "Oh, you can do it".  

So, fast forward thirty years.  Lacey & I, walking in, clutching pillows to her very first childbirth class. 

This pregnancy so different from the last.  No classes, No nursery preparation.....this time, so much joy surrounding our days....building baby beds, buying bedding......all the things we so carefully avoided last time. 

But tonight.  I learned two things I did not know from my childbearing days. 

First off.   You can be 75 years old, and still manage to hook and marry a 50 year old.  True story.  Our spry little instructor, on introducing herself, made herself out to be a cougar, and by golly, the gal owned it. 

Secondly.   Mooing is relaxing. 

If you don't believe me, just try it. 

There is never a time I'm with my eldest child, that I don't laugh, cry, snort and have the perfect movie quote. 


And, her face, watching "The Video".....the whispered,  "I'm definitely having a c-section", to the ashen face, "Oh my gosh"...... to finally,  "I'm not going through that, I'll have an epidural". 

So funny, everything so precious to me......what an enjoyable evening with my silly. 

Tomorrow, our Kip will be home and Saturday we are going to celebrate with many friends and loved ones, the beautiful joy of a new little boy entering our lives.

How magnificent.

God is good, all the time.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015


addle, baffle, bamboozle, beat, befog, befuddle, bemuse, bewilder, buffalo, confound, confuse, disorient, flummox, fuddle, get, gravel, maze, muddle, muddy, mystify, perplex, pose, puzzle, vex
This is how my Monday was yesterday.  

Which was ironic, because in my Monday conference call, the word of the day was discombobulate.
Let me just tell you about my last few days.  
First off, Mother Nature has done lost her mind this year.  One day I am out in the backyard sweating, in shorts, mind you, raking leaves, and the VERY NEXT DAY, it is snowing ice pellets.  

So there's that.

Hallie had a volleyball tournament in Denver this past weekend, and, me, being the ever savin' dollar conscience mom that I am, decided Hal & I would fly out (so I could work up until we leave), and then drive back on Sunday with friends from the team.  

This is a great plan, except for the whole "driving" thing.  I firmly believe that if you can't get anywhere in 3 hours by car, you better have your butt in a plane.  I am not a happy passenger.  And 10 hours in a car, with Hallie sharing my seat (all 74 inches of her, in which 72 of that is legs) trying to "get comfortable".......  (and trust me, we were in a great big vehicle, with super wonderful folks).  As we rolled in at 1 am on Monday am....I knew things could get weird.


The neat thing about the volleyball tournament, and playing in a NEW division this year, "Open", which is code for "Outstanding Players Everywhere Nobiggie", is that you get a bunch of college coaches standing at your court, watching your kids play.  Very very cool.  and nervewracking.

The girls won a bunch of games, then lost a bunch of games, and came out of it with a higher expectation of themselves.  It's so amazing watching these girls figure out this game, and work to reach their maximum potential.  Absolutely a blast to watch.  (mostly)

It was wicked cold in Denver.  We had to walk about 5 blocks to the convention center to play, and I found myself walking top speed, longing for a beach and sand.  

Yesterday, still recovering from the late night, in texting Steven's basketball coach, Shannan, griping with him about the refs this year.....telling him that I can't believe how calm he stays..

Now THERE is a text every parent should send to a coach.

You have to know I didn't type LAME, because I was more concerned with the You'Re usage.  I'm serious, I chortled and guffawed over that for awhile. (still blaming autocorrect on that one)

Then, watching Steven play his playoff game last night (different coach, yes I have him on 2 teams, I don't understand either, because I'm just made of time lately) (and runon sentences)
THE REFS!   AGAIN, with the refs.   I had issues this weekend with the refs at the VB tournament, and then, I swear, they followed me to Oklahoma and showed up at the 5th grade basketball playoffs.    And no matter how hard I try to control thy tongue (WWJD, WWJD, WWJD), I end up being tacky.

For example.  Why oh why would an opposing team parent set in the other teams seating area? Not cool.  Yes, I used sarcasm asking them to please stay seated and not follow us (when we move to other side after each game).   WWJD WWJD WWJD WWJD.   I try to be a good Christian, but sports brings the ugly out in me.  

I was talking to someone (there goes my alzheimers again), and they said instead of WWJD at games, it's probably more like  WWLD?  (what will Laura Do).   

Oh my.  


Just pray for me. 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Ring around the Rosy......

I shared the link from the mom's blog that went viral, pleading for people to please vaccinate their childrens.  I wrote "Idiots....wake up".


Some people don't like being called idiots.

Now, I'm an idiot when it comes to money.   And men.  And cheetos.

I just am.

But protecting your children from diseases that will kill them???

These parents are calling themselves "Non-vaxxers".   Hmm.

I believe that there are certain cases out there that probably shouldn't vaccinate.  Even our tiny lil Laynie, went home from the hospital (at 3 lbs 6 oz), all Hib'd and Hep B'd up.

And this was a baby that wasn't even suppose to live through the weekend.......

Come on people.

That's like having a house with a garage, and not parking your car in the garage because a Jet might fall from the sky and land on your car (in the garage) and damage your home.   That's about as much sense as it makes to me.


After years and years of obliterating the small pox (thank GOD) and polio, and making the measles almost a non-issue.....we are at an epidemic proportion with measles this year..... and let's review why.

Measles are one of the most contagious childhood diseases out there. A family vacationing at Disney (non-vaxxers) started showing signs and by golly they paid almost $800 for five 2-day passes, and that money was NOT going to waste......So......hundreds of infected children, going back to their own states...unknowingly contaminated with the virus.....spreading it like wildfire. 
Borrowing from Mayo Clinic here......
Measles is a childhood infection caused by a virus. Once quite common, measles can now almost always be prevented with a vaccine. Signs and symptoms of measles include cough, runny nose, inflamed eyes, sore throat, fever and a red, blotchy skin rash.
Also called rubeola, measles can be serious and even fatal for small children. While death rates have been falling worldwide as more children receive the measles vaccine, the disease still kills more than 100,000 people a year, most under the age of 5.
As a result of high vaccination rates, measles has not been widespread in the United States for more than a decade. Today, the United States averages about 60 cases of measles a year, and most of them originate outside the country.

I'm about to have a grandson.  He will not be allowed to be inoculated until he is over a year old.   That puts him at risk.

High Risk.  

That pisses me off.   10 years ago, this wouldn't even be a concern.  Non-vaxxers were few and far between, but now with the advent of internet, and BLOGGING (for the love), and so much baseless .......well........CRAP...... about vaccines flying around.....

One of my friends has an autistic son, and her take.... "I'd rather have him quirky with his autism, than dead from the measles".

Vaccines weren't designed to hurt your children, they were designed to save them.  When did it become a "Thing" to NOT protect your children?  I know I will get enraged comments on this "You don't understand our situation"   "I put a ton of thought in to this"  "I researched and researched"........well, unless the vaccine kills your child..... I'm not buying it.  You hear the stories of the few children that actually do have reactions from the vaccines, but what about the millions that don't??  

One night a flood hits a small older lady goes to her porch and cries out, "Oh Lord, I know you will save me from my plight!" and a small rowboat comes by and says, "Lady, get on board"......she says to the boat..."Oh, no, I've asked GOD to protect me" the water gets higher, she goes to the second story of her house, and again....  "GOD, protect me".........  the coast guard comes by and says, "Lady, get on board"........"OH NO, I've asked GOD to protect me"....... then finally as the water takes her to her roof, and she cries out,  "Oh, LORD, protect me".....and a helicopter comes in and says, "LADY, GET ON BOARD".......  "OH NO, the LORD will protect me"...... and as the helicopter flies off, the lady succumbs to the water....
When she walks into the pearly gates, and God is there to greet her....her first questions..... "GOD, WHY DIDN"T YOU SAVE ME?"   to his very puzzled,  "Lady, I sent you a boat, the Coast Guard and a HELICOPTER!"..............


Lady, I sent you doctors that created vaccines for immuzations, and clinics that give free shots, and guidelines and standards......

Wake up.  It will be a WHOLE OTHER story when your unvaxxed kid, infected with measles and  fighting for their lives.....and all the other kids around them that are infected now too.   The innocent babes, that aren't old enough to be vaccinated, the special needs kids that can't take immunizations because of the nature of their condition...... You aren't protecting your're putting EVERYONE at risk.

Come on. 

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Wide or Narrow

Last night, I got the opportunity to share Laynie with a whole new group of soon-to-be Laynie lovers. (a few of Hal's teammates).

It was awesome.

Of course, I'm so NOT eloquent at speech, and didn't say what I should have said, so naturally I am going to put it here, where I can sort it out and say it the way I wish I had.

Life is hard.  It will take you everywhere.  At 16, you haven't seen too much, but believe me, in life, you will be faced with many, many choices.

Some will be easy to make, then some will come along and throw you for a loop.

Lacey encountered a loop when she was 23.  She had to say YES to a baby, that everyone was telling her to say NO to.   She chose the narrow path.

And what a blessing we would have missed if she had said "No."

Now I'm not saying we didn't encounter the worst pain we had ever dealt with, but God led us through it.

I wasn't living the life God had planned for me before Laynie.  I hadn't written a word, I hadn't found my way to Him, the way He needed me to be with Him.

You know how bad your car gets before you finally take it to the carwash?  You hardly see the color of the car for film of dirt?  You put it off, think it's going to rain, (know if you DO break down and wash your car it will ultimately rain tomorrow, then it was ALL your fault??)...finally give in, wash your car...while you are in the Boomarang carwash and all those hoses are raining down soap and more soap, and those brushes keep pounding away at the roof of your car, pound, pound, pound.....then here comes the rinse cycle and all that dirt runs off your car.....and you come out of the other side......Clean.....

The first time I took Zach with me, he was terrified!  "Lolly, is it over"  "Is it over" "IS IT OVER", then we were done, I got him out of the car and let him see the results....  "Hey, that Good!"

That's where I was.  I knew I needed to find Him, and let Him wash me new, but I kept resisting and resisting, and when Laynie was on..... Full Surrender, baby. 

Without her, I don't know how long it would have taken, on the world find my way in His pocket.  He pulled us off the world path, into his Carwash (if you will) and made us new. 

The world path is wide and easy.  You can still be successful on the world can still go to church and love God.  But you won't listen to the Holy Spirit when It comes prompting.  You won't hear Him for the world path is loud and fun and busy.  It's also frustrating, nail-biting, control-ridden and full of high anxiety, for in this world.....YOU are in control. 

You will MISS all the peace and joy that comes on that narrow, windy path.  You won't experience the total peace that comes with absolute FAITH that God has your back.  That's only found on the narrow path.

That narrow path is hard.  Because you will have to say NO to doctors that "have your best interests at heart" will have to say NO to those fun, sexy movies all your friends want you to go with them to see..... you will have to say NO to the drinking parties, or be the lame "DD" that shows up, still has fun, but sees everyone home will have to say NO to the boy your friends think is perfect for you, because after one date your realize he doesn't know or love Jesus the way you know and love Jesus, and want your children to be raised........You will say "Yes" to being a missionary, you will say "Yes" to fostering, you will say "Yes" to helping at the food bank, you will say "Yes" to reading your bible faithfully, and searching for God in those pages, and praying all the time, over everything you do, You will say "Yes" to living your life at a higher standard, because you deserve a life lived at a higher standard, because you are a child of a "KING"......the narrow path is tough all right.  But it is worth it. 

Then, someday it will find you in the floor with a bunch of teenagers, sharing Jesus, through a tiny baby's life story with them, and it doesn't get much better than that. 

Except for sharing it with you, too.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

A little too close to Home

I'm a big Grey's Anatomy fan.

I've watched that dumb show from Day 1, and cheered through everything,

except probably Mark Sloan's death.   I was ticked for a week.

But nothing prepared me for April & Jackson's baby story line.


When they realized at the ultrasound, something was wrong, and the reactions of the main people....well, it got real in a hurry for me.

But tonight, as April struggled to understand why the God she loves, and has worked her WHOLE life to do His will for her, would do this to her innocent baby......

Man, I struggled with her.

Then, when her husband, Jackson...a non-believer, goes to the chapel and prays to a God he has never believed in, and asks for God to just "Show up for her, just please show up for her".

Well People I was toast.

It might be that I'm still a bit kicked in the butt by this flu bug, or that I did get to see my precious little grandman's face this week (before the flu), so it just about killed my heart.

And I have to think that it killed thousands of others momma's hearts out there, that has struggled with that loss.  I found myself counseling April to "Don't induce!!!!!  Keep that baby!!!!  Your life will be forever changed for the better!!!!"

....................then I realized I was talking to a tv show.  So I got out my computer, and here's what I have to say about that.....

God does show up.  For whatever reason in America, I happened to pull up and read one of my past blogs on Monday, thought to myself,  "Dang that was good", and shared it again on my facebook.

My phone exploded.   I know it touched what I needed to hear that day, and I was overwhelmed with response over that blog, that came from my heart and soul, on that day I was hurting so bad from loss, I wasn't sure how I would breathe.

So I wrote.  I used to write and write and write....processing life, one blog at a time.

And then life overtook me, and I quit processing through writing, and it's been a bit.....meh.

I like to write.

And watching this show tonight, and thinking to myself,  I wish April and Jackson had Laynie's book to read (ok, I did), and then out of the blue, a publisher has been calling me again and again, over and over....(Yes, I would have to pay to get it published, but I still take it as a sign)....

I have to finish Laynie's book.   Flu, Satan, Kids, Life, Moms with Bad backs, Volleyball, Satan, NONE of that is going to keep me from finishing what I started. Thinking I can't do it, that I don't have what it takes to get it done, blah blah blah.   

Her story is amazing, and a miracle, and people all over need to hear it.

Because sometimes, things hit a little too close to home, and everything becomes crystal clear, and trust me, God does Show Up.


 Here's Proof.  Most flexible, beautiful baby in the world.  My grandson.

Sunday, February 8, 2015


It's been a weekend. 

Hallie went with a friend to Orlando to stalk, er..... meet, her favorite YouTube celebrities, so it's just been the lovelies and myself. 

I haven't talked about Big Sis for awhile because, well.....she's been out of our loop. 

I tried to help this kid, when there was help to be given.  When I got the three littles back on day 1, Big Sis was 17. 

I knew she only had a few months left before she was considered an "Adult" in the system (give me a break, what 18 year old do you know that has a brain???  Maybe Lacey, but that is all), so I, along with our caseworker at the time, The incredible "Elastic girl"..... worked hard to convince her that she should go back into custody, so I could help her go to college.

This was a kid that the system let down.  She was sexually abused by her stepfather from the time she was 5, until she was removed from the home at 11.  She was in a foster home almost as bad as her biological home from 11 y/0 to almost 14.   Her mom lied and got her in the job corps when she was only 15 (when the courts sent them home the first time), and lived on her own from the time she was 15. 

When I met her at 17, she had couch surfed and survived for 2 years on her own. 

I thought that she would be thrilled to have input from a caring adult. 


That didn't happen. 

She called me when she needed something, and pretty much, used and abused my good nature.  So for the last year or so, I have been emotionally unavailable to this young lady. 

Really Christ-like, huh?

About 3 or 4 weeks ago, she began persistently calling me, over and over, demanding and begging to see her siblings.  I'm shaking my head typing this, because it's all or nothing with this lass. 

I told my mom, "I bet she is pregnant", and unfortunately for me, I was was right. 

I have never seen a more lost person in my life.  I asked for all my facebook friends to pray for grace for me, because I have no patience with this young lady. 

And the saddest part of all.....she knows no other life.  She watches her siblings living their lives, finally being kids, excelling in sports, school, life.....and made the sad statement.... "I wish you had adopt me". 

I gave her tough love this weekend.  She was talking abortion like it was an option, and I'm afraid I got a bit rough with her.  She doesn't even really know the father, and can barely take care of herself, much less a baby.  I gave her all her options, and seriously, when I dropped her at home, I have never felt more like a big fat failure.  Nothing I say gets through to this kid. 

I asked her if she thought her siblings were better off now.  "Oh yes, they are lucky and happy".  Then why wouldn't you consider that for your own kid?  "I don't want it to grow up and not know me".   Oh, but you'd rather abort it ?

I had to bite my tongue out of my head to stay civil.  I asked her where she would be now if she had trusted me when we first met.   A big sigh, and a "Probably in college, having fun". 

I swear, people.  It's a pride swallowing, nail biting, anger rising, situation.  I'm not sure what she will do.  So I'm asking for your prayers.  Prayers for her safety, and her heart.  Prayers for her to do the right thing by this innocent babe.  Prayers for me to find the right (and loving) way to guide her. 

Prayers for grace.  For us all.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Run Laynie Run

I spent some time tonight on Laynie's tribute page and I couldn't help but sit, as the tears streamed down my face, and marvel at the incredible impact her life had on so many people.

People we didn't even know, would read our stories about her, and literally thousands of people were praying for our family, all over the country.







If you see me in public, please harangue me for not accomplishing this goal.  Lacey and I worked on it last year, and then backburnered it (with life in the way and all).


It just does.

I read the words I wrote back then, and I believe they were divinely inspired.  We were in such a spiritual, God-filled walk...... truly the most incredible of times.

Here is the
if you want to see the precious pictures and all the wonderful guest entries.

God. Is. Oh. So. Good.