Living the Dream

Living the Dream

Saturday, May 28, 2016

The Days are Long, But the Years are Short

This school year blew by so quickly, I barely had time to process it.

That's 250 mornings of taking 3 different kids to 3 different schools, and re-loading lunch accounts with money eight times.

And then you're done.

This year end has been particularly hard.  I am now approaching my last-born's senior year.

I scrolled through picture after picture of friend's kids graduations, and I realized that 2017 is bearing down on me, with miraculous speed and intent.

Yesterday, (and I do mean yesterday), I was watching Hallie walk across her Kindergarten stage, with no teeth and sweet little braids to accept her Kindergarten diploma.  When they called them the "Class of 2017", I just chuckled, because that was such a long time in the future.

Well, 5 dance recitals, 3 sets of ear tubes, 40 weeks of guitar/piano lessons, millions of hours and dollars spent on volleyball, later, Hallie received her application instructions for West Point this week.

Her time with me, living with me as my child, is roaring to the finish line.

I know I still have three to go, but, this flesh of my flesh, is soon to be gone.

And it won't be to OU, or UCO, where your children still pop in your house anytime you want/need them.  It will be a structured time, 3 times a year, to see her...and my mom heart is overwhelmed.

BUT WOW, what an awesome opportunity for this big thinker.  I had a friend spend time with her recently, and she text me "Your kid is amazing.  She so knows what she wants, and that is rare with someone her age."

Nicole Nordeman just released a song called, "Slow Down" and I sobbed the ugly cry in the parking lot at work the other day, listening to those words.  I know I'm being dumb, because she is just going to college, and I think about my cousin/sister losing our precious Austin, and not having that ability to see him on the phone and talk to him and I feel silly feeling this way.

 Just TRUST me and grab a kleenex  for this.

So I am going to put on my big girl mom panties, and help her fill out this application.  I have pointed to the sky her whole life and said, "This world is yours for the taking, do you want to do it?" and smile through tears at all the volleyball games, the senior pictures, her new job, the senior year, and breathe all of it in.

Young mommies, don't worry about the small stuff.  Don't involve yourself in the drama of what's not important.   Involve yourselves in introducing your kids to Jesus and making sure that no matter what happens in their lives, HE will always be there with them.  That is your greatest, most important gift you can give them.

Because in two blinks of an eye, they are out the door and flying to the sky to follow their dreams.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

On Being Still

This is on my heart very heavy this morning, so I'm putting it out there, because someone will read this and go, "Dang, I needed that".

And maybe, it might be just me that needs it.

I heard on KLOVE the other morning, about being in a "season", or a "Valley" (if you will) and despairing, or worrying about it ALL THE TIME.  I mean, just being eat up with worry about something.

For example, I lost a job in 2010.  I was very hurt, very depressed and very anxious when all of that went down.  I despaired and despaired over what I thought to be, one of the worst things that could ever happen to me, in my entire life.

Now, looking back, I realize just how anointed that time in my life was for me.

I was able to help my mom with her brother, who was dying at the time, and be there 100% for her and him.  I was able to heal from losing Laynie.  I spent time with my nephew/cousin, Austin during spring break and had him up to hang with Hallie and I, and really got to know him and his heart and speak truth into his life and love him in a way I hadn't until then.  Never knowing that in 24 short months, he would gone too.   I leaned fully on God, and thinking back, never, really worried about finances and how things would get paid, and how I would make it happen for Hallie and I.

It just did.

God comes through for you.  During the hardest times of your life, if you will just lean into Him, and really trust HIM to take take the wheel, He will.   I believe that sometimes, He will bring you to the hard times, to teach you to do that.

There is nothing more freeing, than to hand your worries and burdens over to God.  And if I'm being transparent here, I have had health issues these past few weeks, and had a biopsy done (don't ask me where), and I am now waiting results.

I am Not Even Worried.  Oh, I think about it.  and when I do, I breathe a prayer of thanksgiving for my blessings and the life I have, but I'm not mired in worry.  I couldn't function if I was.

Now, before Laynie, I would have not been able to get out of bed for worrying about this.  But now, I know that my God is greater than anything that gets in my path, and He always, always has my back.
If you are in a place of uncertainty right now, just give it to God.   That's what He wants from you, He wants to shoulder your burdens and TRUST HIM.

He Just Needs you to BE Still and hear His voice.

Because He is There.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Happy Birthday, Deaton

One year ago, a little boy came roaring into the world.

With a sister in heaven watching over him, he brought joy and hope, all in a tiny little body of a boy.

His mommy's heart started complete healing, the very first minute she held him in her arms.

And in his daddy's arms, he found his perfect rest.   It is still his number one place to sleep.  Safe in his daddy's arms.

Of course, you kind of like your ole Lols, too.

And then, there you were.   One month old.  All dimples and baby hair, no sleep and big feet.  Perfection in a diaper.

2 months old, and since it almost fell on Laynie's angel day, you got to wear a ridiculous purple bow tie.  It sounded like a great idea in Target, when ole Lols found it, but in reality, probably should have skipped the tie.   Still think you are adorable, but growing like a weed.

At three months, you are becoming a ham.  You still don't sleep, so mom and dad are tired messes, but you are a happy baby, and big as a house.  Foxy fox is looking smaller and smaller beside you.

At 4 months you started wearing shoes, and won't sit still for anything.  You army crawl to what you want, unless Lols is there, and then you just have to whimper and the world is yours.  That's my job.

At 5 months, Lols got you some groovy man beads (amber for teething) and you started wearing them all the time, and boy did they help.  Starting to sit up all by yourself and life is so much easier.  Sleeping better and really figuring out everything around you.

Six months old, on the move.  Crawling, interested in everything, those big eyes still blue as can be.  Eating everything you can get your hands on, and just a bundle of fun..... what did we do for entertainment  before ??
 Halloween was fun, because we just dressed you up like daddy.  Made sense.  Love the spikes.

 We have a couple of 6 months and I just love them so much I am showing this one too. 

 7 months.  The sticker on the fox is more interesting than anything in his world right now.  How can I get that sticker off that fox??

 8 months!  WITH THE STICKER.   Can I just have this thing right here, mom?

 At nine months, it just became too much.  We had to taste the sticker and the boy won.
And even though his shirt says "Tiny but Tough", that hardly is the case now.  Over 20 pounds, almost 30 inches tall.... he is a bruiser.

 Ten months old!!!  How in the world?  Walking....4 teeth....eating vanilla wafers as fast as you hand them to him......
 And I don't even care that most of the time we are together, I look like just doesn't matter.

 Eleven months old.  Who can keep him still??  Not momma.  Not daddy.  Not Lols.

Deaton Alan, you have brought us so much joy this year.  You have taught us all about raising a healthy, huge baby.  Everything about you was total opposite of your sister.  God is a master planner, and He delivered your plan in a mighty, wonderful way. 

As you continue to grow at lightning speed, always know that your Lols has your back, loves you unconditionally (even doesn't care if she gets gunk eyes and sinus infections, from you she'll take it)
and will be in your corner, whatever you need.

I feel at my most peaceful peace, when you are asleep in my arms.  I marvel at the hugeness of God's love for our family, and the miraculous ways that He shows His face to us, over and over.  When people say to me, "I'm not sure there is a God", I have to believe that they have never heard our story and know your sister, or have held a healthy, incredible baby.

God is good, all the time  

Happy 1st birthday, Grandson.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

A Boy Turns One

It's been a pretty fun day.

Kip flew in to celebrate Deaton's 1st birthday with us, and we've been laughing it up since she arrived morning at 12:00 a.m.

And it's to celebrate a very special birthday.   Not mine, though technically, since I have gone to the "leap year" birthday system (only celebrating when it's a leap year) it actually IS a leap year, and I am required to celebrate per my own birthday system, I have foregone birthdays, maybe forever, in order to celebrate the grandson.

He was born 5-11-15.

This year.   It's been a blur of time slipping through my hands so fast, I can't even keep up.

Deaton loves balls.

I mean, the kid is obsessed.  "bah.  bah.   bah.   bah."  If he's not carrying 3 at once, he's at least carrying 1.  All. the. time.

So, Lacey and Kip had a "Ball theme" party.  And we didn't go all ridiculously fancy and pinteresty, though I have to tell you.... I bought that kid a bunch of birthday stuff.

I. can.t. help.  it.   It's that dang Grandma-itis.    I'm ate up with it.

He kinda likes me, too.

But the #1 best birthday gift this year, goes to Aunt Hallie.  She told me what she wanted to get him, and we had to search all over toys r us in Tulsa to make it happen.

To say that was a smash, is an understatement.  He LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Even ole daddy got in on the fun!

We have a legion of people, just in our immediate family, so when a party rolls around, "just family" events  requires event centers....or Billy Boy's side room.  

All of DeeDee's favorites were there today.... all his great grandparentals

His Holt family

His Deaton family

My brother and his crew

and last but certainly not least, my small posse

We love seeing pics of kids diving into their first birthday cakes, and we were so anticipating seeing Deaton's excitement when he finally got to dive into his!  
Auntie Kip made him a ball birthday cake and we even got him a new highchair (which
mommy stripped down to the plastic, because she knew he was going to be a dirty boy)
and we were prepared for the deluge of birthday cake that was going to happen.  We anticipated smearing, we anticipated throwing, we anticipated a giant mess.

Started out good. 
What ?  the?  Crap??

What in the world is on my hands??


Somebody DO SOMETHING!!!! Don't just stand there and LAUGH AT ME!  Stop LAUGHING AT ME!!!!!!!   

Here, Dee Dee, wipe it on daddy!!  (good daddy!!)

IT"S STILL THERE! I may be starting to hyperventilate!!
(he has a small bit of mama's flair for the dramatic in him)

A prince and his minions.  "Clean me, women!"  Poor. mistreated. thing.  

Tyler got some help from his big bro...
If you've seen Tyler before, you know he is no tiny guy.  His brother makes him look tiny.  And if your big bro licks your face to help you out, you stand there and take it like a man.  

Deaton liked present opening WAY better than cake.  He discovered when he threw his hands in the air (like he just didn't care) (see what I did there), that the entire crowd of people would cheer and go wild for him.

He did it every 10 seconds or so, the rest of the party to test us. We passed.  

 Every guy needs a cool fishing hat, so Lols had to get him one.  

Everyone paying attention????

YAYAYAYAYAYA!!! we would cheer!!!

Dee Dee really bonded with Great Uncle Bubba.  He kept feeding him french fries with Ketchup.  I think they will be friends for life. 
Lindsay's cooking a little boy 2nd cousin right now.  That should be tons of fun, really soon.

I love this one so much of me and the "originals".  Just can't believe all my babies are grown up and my baby baby is so much taller than all of us.  She grew another half inch this year.  She was a full 6'2" at her physical the other day.  Dee Dee is going to outgrow her by his 6th birthday the rate he is going.

As it stands now.....

YAY DEE DEE..... Best day ever.