Living the Dream

Living the Dream

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Duggar Drama

I have always been a BIG fan of 19 kids and counting.

Anyone that can be that organized and raise 19 kids, and give birth to 19 kids, and still be "together" enough to even string a sentence together, forever has my highest praise.

Then this week happened.

Apparently, Josh Duggar, the eldest son of the giant clan, had some issues when he was a teenager.

Let me just state my opinion here....he was WRONG in what he did.   WRONG.


If you live in Oklahoma, you have experienced torrential rains, tornadoes, high winds, extreme weather.  Some days, you are thrilled to death to have the weather men on your tv, reporting where that F-5 is about to touch down.....other days,  it seems like the weather men are REPEATING every sentence 3 times in a row, and just showing old footage to make sure they stay on the air.  In other words, they are beating a dead horse.

My point is......They are beating a DEAD DEAD horse. Josh Duggar was 14 years old.   FOURTEEN.  I have a fourteen year old in my house, and I'm pretty sure she is not the brightest tool in the shed (if you catch my drift).  14 year olds are CLUELESS.


BUT, HE was 14 years old.  He was severely dealt with, and 12 years later.....the girls he touched have been apologized to, counseled with, loved on and MOVED on with their lives.  His WIFE knew of all of this.

So, here is a low life scum of the world, digging for dirt, tabloid, that "Breaks" this story.

Imagine if you will, all your past sins (10-15-20 years ago) being thrown to the World for scrutiny.  Holy Moly.  I hope that never happens to me.   I was molested when I was a tween.  I hope to God above the heavens and hills that it never comes up again.  I have worked through it, dealt with it, and NEVER wish to relive it again.

I feel sick for all of the people involved in this.  I feel outrage that TLC has pulled their show.  I cannot BELIEVE that Josh Duggar lost his job.  It's just all ridiculous.   He is paying (and paying big) AGAIN, for his childhood mistakes.

The victims, the accused, they have moved on with their lives.  What if TLC had used this for a wonderful way to help people deal with molestation?    Comparing this show to Honey Boo Boo's mom's molester boyfriend is just ludicrous.  He is a MOLESTER NOW, been to jail as an ADULT molesting children.  This was a kid (a very SHELTERED kid), acting out.


But....he was stupid 14 years old.  He hasn't done anything inappropriate since that time.

God forgives EVERYONE of ANY SIN.  You ask for forgiveness, you TURN FROM THE SIN, and you DO IT NO MORE.

Josh Duggar did that.  His family went through hell during that time I am sure.  And they still maintain their morals, their love of God, and have done a tremendous job of raising 19 human beings.

Let anyone among you, that has NOT sinned......throw that first stone......

Please don't ever look too hard in my background..... God has made me new.   And because of that, I am held blameless for my past wrongs.  THANK GOD for that.

Josh Duggar has paid the price for his sin, let's move on to something far more important...... making sure we live our life the way God wants us adults......and talking with our 14 year olds about wise choices and respecting privacy.

Molestation is rampant.  If you haven't been molested, count yourself lucky.  Learn from this.  Protect your kids with knowledge.  It's a hard subject, but a very real one.

And let God be the judge, not you.

As for me, I hope TLC pulls their head out and puts that moral high road show BACK on the air.... it's a breath of fresh air.   We are subjected to Mistresses, Bachelorettes, Fifty Shades of Porn, Teen Sex on just about any channel.....we need more of the Duggars.  Not less.

That's all I have to say about that. 

Tuesday, May 12, 2015


Well other than being a palindrome, this day rated in one of the top 5 of my life. 

My grandson was born. 

He missed my birthday by 2 days, and Mothers day by 1 and that's ok by me, because He will have a fun palidrome birthday for his entire life.  Frontwards or backward the numbers are the same  5-11-15. 

Amazing.   Just like him.

Lacey has been running a Blood Pressure (BP) that has been on the risky, high side pretty much the last 3 months of this pregnancy.  She's swollen like a sponge on steroids, and had no feeling in her fingers for weeks. 

Ah, the bliss of pregnancy.

She started having strong braxton hicks on Friday night.  And had them for 3 days.  With the storms on Friday night, I sat in my house helpless, unable to even think about getting to her, even if she were to deliver her baby in the front room floor.  Thankfully that didn't happen, and on my birthday  (I'm 8, by the way, that's a whole other story), I chose to head to Shawnee and hang out with the pregnant lady and watch and see what happened.

We ate brownies, laughed like hyenas, watched a movie, ate grams chicken and dumplings and then the kids and I headed for Norman.   No baby.   On Sunday, launched it's 24th location in Shawnee OK and the kids and I were there for the launch and helped Tyler herd and wrangle kids in the classrooms and baby.  

Thankfully, yesterday, Monday...she had a doctors appointment and of course, her BP was through the roof, and the doc said, "Whatcha wanta do" and my very pregnant OVER IT daughter, opted for a C-section and 5 hours heart was stolen from my body.

But of course Gram & I had cheetos and Snickers whilst we waited. 

Because of her c-section, we were all in the waiting room, waiting to hear......anything.   This picture was on Tyler's brother's phone and my heart was gone. 

Shortly after, I got to see this....and seriously?  I told everyone in that hospital....more than once, too....that my daughter just gave birth to the most beautiful baby in the world. 
All is right with the world. 

He's a big 8 lb 4 oz, and he has darling tiny fuzz hair, and a dimple on his right cheek.  He makes sounds when he sleeps, he LOVES his daddy, ADORES his mommy, and he wasn't a fan of the bath. 

Lacey is doing amazing, she has the compression belt (a gift from the Csection Gods) so her guts don't feel like they are going to fall out on the floor, and a few nice pain medication to help her get up, shower, scrub and feels like about $50 bucks.  Not a million, or even a hundred yet, but she feels like $50. 

I love his tiny little hat that has his name all over it, a gift from one of Lacey & Tyler's million friends.  Facebook literally blew up last night as I started posting pics.  It was slightly awe-inspiring.  I had to turn my phone on and off twice because it kept locking up, I was getting so many notifications.  Lacey was reading through some of the comments, and finally threw her phone down and moaned, "I can't keep up". 

I do believe he might be the most anticipated baby in the history of mankind.  Or the history of Lauraland.  
Everyone says....OMG I see Tyler....he's just a tiny Tyler.  And Yes,  He does look like Tyler.....but I have to argue that almost 31 years ago, this beauty came on the scene and there's no denying who his mom is, either. 

Same hair, same eyes, same lips, same ears.  This kid has his dad's hands, feet and lungs.  Truth. 

It melts your heart out of your body to see this giant man love his son...

 They did a ton of skin to skin contact today, keeping his sugar level elevated, so his stats would stay good.  Deaton dug it A Lot.  For Tyler's sake, I just did skin to shirt contact with him.  He likes me ok, too, even with the shirt. 

We are all in love and enamored with a tiny little human named Deaton Alan Holt.  He is our prince, our prize, our hearts.  He is one lucky little boy to have those two for parentals.  They are naturals. 

Welcome to our world, brother of my Laynie.  You have some pretty big tiny shoes to fill.  And she will guide you.

As we were in the waiting room, and I was nervously scrolling though all my apps, doing ANYTHING to keep from worrying, I jumped on Timehop and found this gem....

May 11, 2008..... Laynie Hope was dedicated by Miles Paluden at Lifechurch Edmond.   7 years later, her brother was born on the very same day.

There are no coincidences in God's great plan.  And what an honor to have a front row seat at the show. 

God is Good all the time.  

And did I mention I have the most beautiful grandchild in the whole world?


Sunday, May 10, 2015

Prayer and Power

We are talking about prayer at church.

It is powerful and true.

I used to say the vague, general prayer.  Enough to bless the food, keep me safe as I slept, keep the kids safe.  And I didn't say them very often, either, if I'm being superbly transparent here.

Then Laynie came.

Laynie, as you all know, was the game changer.

As I listened to Craig unpack his message today, I felt chills and I felt tears.  So thrilled that I am a sold out Jesus Freak now, and that without the hardest, most trying time in my life, I wouldn't be who I am today.

Craig drew a circle on the board and wrote in 4 things....the cycle of Prayer and Life as I know it now...

1st of all-   Share.  You have to actively share God with everyone.  My Grandpa, God rest his soul, was a religious zealot.  He talked to everyone and I MEAN EVERYONE about God.  He was over the top, out of this world in love with the Bible and God and the message of Grace.  But he was so OVERZEALOUS in his attempt to share His religious beliefs....he could turn people off in a heartbeat.  People like me.  I semi didn't like church because of the religious zeal he delivered his "Are you going to heaven, Laurie or HELL"  Uhm, grandpa I just wanted a glass of water.  So, I get it.  I understand the hesitation some people have with sharing God.  No one gets it better than me.

But my family went through a painful, wonderful, life-changing time.  God gave us a story to share that would and could help people.   We could have set back and shook our fists to the heavens and said, "GOD why us?  Why did this happen to us?" but instead we took the story he gave us, and we shared it with others.  And in the prayer life I developed when I was praying and looking for answers in the bible....that ONLY I could find there..... I developed a deeper understanding of the grace, mercy and power that only God can give you, when you are walking through a valley.

And the most wonderful thing of all......when you are sharing with others, your story of grace and goodness....your focus on life becomes focus less and less and less on  yourself and your struggles and your wants and becomes a life of peace and trust that I can't explain to you.

This is the cycle of prayers..... Sharing your story, getting a deeper understanding, and focusing less on yourself. and because of that you share your story, get a deeper understanding...and on and on.....when people look at me and say,  "you are genuinely happy, and I want to know how you do it"...that's my secret....that's the magic ingredient....prayer, sharing and outward focus.  The magic cycle.

There is a new show on CW called "The Messenger".  It has already been cancelled, which doesn't surprise me at all, because it deals with the final days.  The premise of this show is that the devil has showed up to wreak some havoc and bring the world to an end.  There are 6 people (messengers) trying to figure out his next move and stop him.   (this is a pitiful explanation of this show, but for lack of time, I'm going with this flimsy critique)....

But here's where I'm going.  The Devil won't show himself to you all scary and spooky.  You won't want to run from him, because He will present himself as everything you want.  His ultimate goal is to kill, steal and destroy.   He is depicted in this show as a beautiful man, who says everything you want to hear, and ultimately takes your happiness, your well-being, your strength, your independence, your life.  He tempts you, he seduces you, he gets you right where he wants you, and he then ruins you.

It is so powerful to watch this terribly acted show, yet see exactly what I fear happen to these people.  This devil knows how to pull the strings of your heart and makes you his puppet and you don't even know it is happening.

But here's the good news. ..  The closer you are to God, and living in His pocket, the less likely you are to be seduced by the devil.   I worry for the "part-time christians"...the Christian I used to be.  I was easily swayed by the devil, because I didn't live in God's pocket.  He took my life, he shook me and took me on a roller coaster from hell that almost destroyed me.  I was going to church, tithing, doing everything I thought I needed to do to be a Christian....

And the devil had his way with me.  And I was powerless to stop him.  I finally took control of my life in 2004.  I said NO MORE to the devil and I changed my life.  Lacey invited me to Lifechurch and I found hope there.  And when God shook us to our core in 2007, with our precious gift, Laynie....I learned to lean on Him and rely solely on His grace and mercy.  I became a warrior for God.  I remain a warrior for God.

And it changed my life.   Now I say, "Ah, HELL NO" to the devil and He still comes at me, but I realize it's Him, because I live in God's pocket.  He tries to pull me out, but I'm planted pretty firmly in that pocket.

I worry about my friends that are seduced and attracted to the Devil's snare.  You don't even realize it's there, he makes it looks so inviting.

Even typing this I am doubting I will push PUBLISH because the Devil doesn't want me putting out this word of caution and HOPE that your life can change.

If you are mired in a despair of infidelity, of addiction, of chaos, of no can change in a second, just stop and PRAY and MEAN it, and be specific in your desires and ask for help from me or a Christian friend....I believe in the power of prayer and when two or more gather in HIS NAME and ask for the same specific request....GOD HEARS.

I want everyone to feel the peace I have and to understand we are on the FRONT LINE and it's our job to be a light in a world of Darkness.....

Be BOLD and SPecific in your prayers.....Be ACTIVE in Sharing.....And know with a full understanding that when you are powered by the HOLY SPIRIT, your light will be a CONTAGIOUS faith....and your life will be the LIFE that EVERYONE wants.

I know....because it's mine.

God is GOOD....all the time.