And I'm not talking about the song by Queen.
Tonight at church, worship was so intense before the service even started, I can't begin to tell you how moved I was. Hallie wrapped it up great, on the way home, saying, "Mom, I know when worship is good, when I feel the butterflies". Worship was so great, I felt eagles. Thank you Aranda, for being God filled servants and, especially Dameon Aranda for bringing us the incredible worship sets, week after week.
Tonight's message was why God tests us. Now, this subject always sets me on fire, because I hear all the time "How do you keep believing in a good God because how could a Good God have put me/us/them through this"... and usually I can only answer... "By faith I believe God is good, and God is in control".. Never really giving a good solid answer.
What the crap?? What could that possibly mean, "Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials?" How could that even be possible??
When I'm in the middle of a trial, I want to jump out of the boat. I want to run to another state. I want to crawl under my bed and suck my thumb. In other words, I want the problem that is happening to be as far away from me as I can possibly get it. Just get it away from me. Change the subject. Charter the boat on another course. Code for: Let me take the easy way out. And Joy?? in the midst of a trial?? Forget about it.
But the bible promises us that "Count it JOY my brother (my sister, my friend, my family member, my co-worker) when you meet TRIALS. For you know that the testing of your FAITH produces steadfastness.
Now, what is this steadfast business, and how is that going to bring me JOY that is promised??? Dr. MacDonald used a Greek word that simply put means "Remain Under". When I'm in the financial worry, and it feels like everything is falling apart around me, instead of just freaking out and being "my usual" self, I'm going to "Remain Under" the pressure. I'm not going to buckle, or fold, or run, because God is in control.
I love how he said to get a 3 x 5 index card and write down the answers to 3 very specific questions.
#1- What happened to me? and be specific,for example, right now.. I am struggling trying to find financial ground. I found myself without my job about a year ago, and I have had to go deep to find what God's plan was for me. I have to be patient with the path He has clearly set for me, and let HIM guide me through. Even on my limited income, He has provided EVERY SINGLE THING. It is awesome, and I just have to share the magnitude of His care of me.
#2- Why am I here on earth? For example, I am here to raise my children to be Godly women, and I am here to talk to people about God and do the best possible job at my work to make a difference. (That's quite a mission statement)
#3- How can what's happening to me advance the purpose for why I'm still here? The best example I can give for this is Laynie. All that we experienced with Laynie, from the beginning to the end, until now, is helping me advance God's purpose. He brought us to it, and led us through it, and we didn't buckle under the pressure, we didn't run, we didn't wail and gnash our teeth and say "WHY US?"... we stayed in the boat and loved our baby, and LOOKED TO GOD FOR ALL THINGS, and he gave us 30 months. He made the impossible possible.
Now there are 3 very important questions you must remember to answer too...
1- Do you believe that God is in control?? Now this is tough for me, because I have been known to be an A-#1 control freak of the largest magnitude. Under "Control" in the dictionary is a picture of me. It's nothing I'm proud of, but it is something I have had to really focus on. God gave me Laynie to help me understand that I don't control ONE thing. NOTHING. The only thing I control is the remote during tv time. That is IT. God has it and when I try to take control of a situation, especially something very funky going on in my life, that is me getting between the hammer and the work. And the consequences of that, is getting...well... pounded by the hammer. So give it to God and let HIM lead you through it.
2- Do you believe God is good?? Someone that has lost someone grapples with this. How, if God is SOO good, could he take my loved one from me? What is the purpose of that?? Why did they have to go?? WHY US? Because my dear friends, nothing is random and out of control. God HAS it all. He knows every hair on our head... he knew our plan while we were still inside our mothers. He USES trials to BUILD you..... because
3- Are you willing to wait by faith until you see it? I was so lost after Laynie died. Even having the supernatural peace of His presence around me... I was so lost. But I never doubted His plan, and then suddenly it was revealed to me. All the puzzle pieces brought together. We didn't get all the answers with Laynie EVER before anything happened. Because all that would have done would have been to cause us stress! What if we had known.... "Well, she will die on July 10, 2010, so you have until then." Would we have had the incredible June we had? Would we have danced and sang and lived full out, no fear? God gives us trials and when you WAIT for faith to understand the REASONING WHY? is when your character is built.
Remaining UNDER is the true test in all this. Letting God have total control of the OUT OF CONTROL situation, truly giving it to Him, and sitting in the boat and NOT GIVING UP, NOT RUNNING AWAY, NOT Exiting stage left, because something gets hard. STAY IN THE BOAT, because when you truly feel the trials on your shoulders you look UP and not out. Then a whole other way of living takes place.
Your joy comes from different things. Your joy comes from family, and love for other people, and a compassion that goes beyond understanding. Your joy becomes limitless, because you faced the fire, and you let God change you.
"And let steadfastness have its full effect, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, ASK GOD, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to you".
In other words, let the trials come, you stand up to them fully, and if you don't understand why they are there, go to God in prayer, and ask Him for wisdom. People wonder why their prayers don't get answered, they are probably asking for some pretty dumb things. Asking for wisdom to understand why you are in a trial, seems like a pretty smart idea.... and our loving God will give it to you... generously.
Nothing is the same for me anymore. God, Family, Love and Kindness are the important things. Praise God, I am changed through his mercy.
Because God is good... all the time.
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