Lacey takes on the Lovelies

Guest Blog: Lacey's Lessons from the Lovelies,  (written by my Lacey)

There was a time period after Laynie died that I swore I'd never want to have kids again. I said that I would never be able to top the perfection that was my first born child. I was afraid not only of opening my heart to love another child but, heaven forbid, the thought of losing another one. Then, Mom tells me that God really placed it on her heart to have some foster kids. "Fine," I thought, "Power to ya. But it's not for me." I think what I really meant was that I was afraid to get too close to another kid that might be taken away from us in a few months. I LOVE kids, don't get me wrong. Love to play with other people's kids at church or lifegroup, love to learn about them at school (it's my whole degree program for crying out loud), but the thought of getting close to another child just paralyzed me for some reason. It's hard to explain, but I built a shield around my heart in an effort to try and keep it from breaking again. Little did I know the plans that God had for my heart which would be revealed to me through two, sweet Vietnamese kiddos.

You've heard the stories of the first few days the kids were at my mom's house, the dance parties, basketball, and fun. God starting chipping away at my hardened heart during those times but nothing like He has this week as I've been the primary caregiver while Mom's away at a work thing.

Words cannot express how precious these kids are. So full of love, and so sweet. They just needed a safe place and safe people to be able to express themselves. It's hard to imagine the cranky, untrustworthy, angry Lovely that Mom first met a couple months ago. She is so full of life! and personality! and happiness! My lifegroup friends gave her an iPod for Christmas (you remember Mom's blog...she cried, I cried, we all cried...priceless reaction!), last night Hallie and I put music on it for her. We went through our iTunes playlists to see which songs she might like. EVERY song, "Ooooohhh, this my favorite!" "Oooohhhh, I LOVE this SONG!" Dance party in Lolly's bedroom. We couldn't figure out how to get Hallie's songs (you know, the fun ones all the tweens/teens love) switched over and finally gave up. Much to our surprise, an hour or so later Hallie carried Lovely's iPod in and handed it to her with over 100 songs on it! Little genius figured out how to transfer them! Lovely was so excited she hugged her and said, "You so awesome. You great gurl." Then leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. She put her face in her pillow and kept saying, "I can't believe it. Just can't believe it." I continue to be humbled by these kids. I have taken so many things for granted in my life. They don't take ONE.SINGLE.THING. for granted. It's so precious. And I am SO PROUD of my baby sister. She is learning what it means to be selfless and to love like Jesus does and I could not be more proud of the woman she is becoming.

I want to brag on LB a little bit. Oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy. I know NOTHING about little boys. How they function, what makes them tick, why they choose to ram their heads against the mirror and climb the walls in the hallway (true story). But I do know that this little guy has knocked a big chunk of the shield away from my heart. He is awesome. Last night he told me, "You the best girl in all the earf." He comes up and hugs you out of nowhere. Getting ready in the morning, he comes in for a hug, give him some breakfast, he comes in for a hug, pass him in the hallway, hug. And always asks, "Still friends? Best friends?" I'm not sure why he needs constant reassurance that I will always be his friend, but I go ahead and tell him every time. Now I answer, "Yes. Best friends. My answer is always yes. For ever and ever and ever." We switched the Taylor Swift song up a bit. Instead of "never ever ever [getting back together]", we sing, "best friends for ever ever ever. Like EVER." He loves it.

Last night I told him it was time for him to go take a bath. No argument, he grabbed his jammies and headed to the bathroom. When he came later, smelling yummy and looking so adorable in his Incredibles pjs, he had a little smirk on his face. I asked him what the face was about and he said, "Toilet not flush. Had poo in it or something. I grab the thing [plunger], do this, [acts out the plunging motion], it go down but it splash a little and I got poo on my hand! It gone now though cuz I clean." Bahahahahaha...crazy kid didn't even ask me for help! He plunged the dang, nasty toilet all on his own (not that I'm arguing, but I'm uber impressed!) This is just the kind of kid he is. He's a hardworker. Always offers to carry my bags, help bring in groceries, make my cereal, help with dishes. I don't think this is common for 8 year old boys, he is a gem. When we said our good night prayers he said, "God bless Lacey, Hallie, my mom and dad, Lolly, my sister, my brother. We all the best."

This morning I was trying to fix my hair, all of us in Lolly's bathroom (I finally understand what mom's mean when they say they get no time to themselves for anything...someone is ALWAYS by your side), and LB says, "C'mon guys. We gotta get dressed, eat breakfast, let's blaze." If you know my mom at all, you know one of her favorite sayings is "Let's blaze." It made me smile to hear him say this. Lolly's boy!

Today is Lovely's 12th birthday, so Hallie and I wanted to do something special for her. After the kids went to bed last night, we made birthday signs for her and got up early this morning to hang them around the house. Lovely was impressed. "This so nice." She must of hugged us after seeing each sign and then a few more times after that. What a precious girl she is. We have plans tonight after volleyball practice to have a dance party with her new music and she is pretty excited about it! (I am too, not gonna lie!) LB says we get to stay up late "cuz no school tomorrow!" By late, I hope he means 10pm cause I don't think I can make it much after that!

The past few days have been exhausting, but very rewarding. I forgot what it was like to have a kid, I'm pretty tired. You sleep, but you never seem to fall into a deep sleep. One, because there are a zillion night lights and noise machines running. Two, because you have Mom ears that hear every.little.thing. that happens through the night including when they turn over in bed. You can't use the bathroom without someone standing at the door asking if you are almost finished. You have to kick them out of the room to get dressed in the morning, pry them off of you when you're trying to gather your stuff to get out the door, and don't count on ever watching a Thunder game because inevitably there's homework, or Beyblades, or volleyball, or some random, annoying Disney show on the TV already.

But on the flip side, there is unconditional love like you've never experienced. Hugs that come straight from the heart. Smiles that are so sincere they can turn a bad day into a bright one. I feel the love and power of Jesus so much when I am with these kids. They remind me that everything we have is precious. My health, my home, my job, my family. Nothing is promised in this world. I must make an effort to to be thankful every single day, and for every single thing that happens to me (no matter if it's good, bad, sad, or ugly) because you never know when it could all be over. These sweet kiddos are teaching me to open my heart and not be so afraid of getting hurt that I don't allow myself to love again. They have been through so much, yet they love with all they have if given the opportunity. Lovely said this morning, "You so bootiful. You not get husband yet, ok? I need meet him first make sure he okay. Else I throw him back in trash can." Well, thank you darlin'. It's nice to know I have a 12 year old body guard to protect me! Haven't chipped away all of the shield on my heart yet, but each day I spend with these kids helps me just a little bit more. Thank you Lord for reminding me of your goodness and faithfulness, and thank you for the lessons I receive from these kids.

Thank you Mom, for following your heart and answering God's call for your life. You are making a huge impact in these kid's lives and I am SO PROUD OF YOU. You make being a single mom look so easy and I've got to experience it first hand this week. IT'S NOT EASY! Thank you for always being here for us, for being our biggest cheerleader in life, and for opening up your home to give these kids a chance. You are the real deal and I am so thankful for you.<3