On being a kid for a day

Today my fellow workers and I got treated to a field trip.  It was the first day of the new fiscal year, and apparently this is a big deal.  So we got treated to a lunch catered by Rib Crib, and then caravan'ed across town in the agency vans to go to, what I remember being called, the Omniplex.  I think it's something like the Science Museum now.  Hmm. 

One very big thing struck me as we drove up.   All.  The.  School.  Buses.    Oh boy.  I love kids.  Lots of kids in matching shirts.  I immediately felt intimidated, and outnumbered.

There was about 70 of us.  Adults.  Older adults.  Walking around a kid museum.   With a ton of kids.  At one point I found myself meandering around, alone.   I know parents must have thought  "Why is this adult woman here by herself, watching the sand make fun shapes?"   I was thinking the same thing.

Until someone dared me to go down the whirly slide.   What the heck.  Let's go.  I should have known in going up the stairs, that I felt winded and light headed, and a little sick.  That should have been ringing all kinds of bells.  and Red Flags.  And the fact that on that slide, in the ENTIRE AREA, no one over 4 foot tall was on there.  In fact, little kids were pushing past me to get to the top.  Jerks.  Couldn't they see I was winded and just having to hold the stitch in my side for a minute??  12 minutes later, I got to the top of the slide, and one kid looked at me and exclaimed  "Are YOU going down it?"    WHA????   Of course, I am, as I pushed that little loudmouth, naysayer, out of the way.   

I folded my 40 inch legs into my pockets and sat down on the slide and pushed off.  Big mistake.  I somersaulted on the first turn, went to my stomach on the second, my legs unfolded and flew out the top on the third, by the fourth turn I was seeing stars, and really didn't care how I looked anymore, just get me off, by the fifth turn, the naysayer blew by me, kind of jumping over me and moving on past, by the sixth turn, I had forgotten where and who I was and then to my happiness, I rounded the last turn to my laughing friends faces, and tried to act like it was the funnest thing I had ever done.  12 minutes getting to the top, 7.5 seconds down the slide.  going down in the record books as the tallest, and dumbest, person ever to hit those slides.

I stumbled into the planetarium and proceeded to take a much needed nap.  Even though the narrarator was gratingly cheerful, and was sold out on the solar system, I had to regenerate.  I'm sure I scared even more kids, sitting there in the dark, with my mouth hanging open, finding my much needed REM.  

After nap time, I had to go to the bathroom.  And while I was sitting there doing what you do in a bathroom, I noticed what looked to be one of the bug exhibits lying on it's back looking dead.  As I leaned over for a closer look, that protozoic specimen started wiggling it's gigantic legs (I think it was in deep REM too), and by my inspection, looked kind of paralyzed on one side.  He was on his back, and moving his right side for all he was worth trying to flip over.  No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get off his back.   All kinds of pity started flooding me for this helpless dinosaur bug.  So as I flushed the toilet, I made a fatal error of judgement (even worse than going down the slide), I used the toe of my shoe and flipped that poor little innocent bug over and gave him back his legs.   That. Was. A. Big. Mistake.   To my horror and disgust it was a mutant roach, rearing back and growling at me, reminding me of the Transformers bug.   I totally went postal on it, before he could eat me, and jumped up and down on the very bug I had just saved.  Then had another little girl in the bathroom come and honor the bug's size with me.  She ran out of the bathroom screaming for her mom.

It was those people in those vans.  Who let them in??

Fun times....simulating an earthquake.  Felt more like those old quarter vibrating beds.

I think I'm too old for field trips.   Maybe a nice spa day.