Fasting is tough.
I think when you are intentionally doing something to make you more spirit filled, you should be walking around in a happy cloud of euphoria.
Not me.
The enemy moves in and does all he can do to capture my bliss.
I'm so down, and defeated today. I shouldn't be. Nothing is any different today than last week, or the week before, or last Sunday.
It's just perspective.
No one really knows what to expect when you do something different. You're trying something different right? Usually, if it doesn't work out, you just do something else, until you find a way to weed through life more effective and comfortable.
When you are stretching to find your potential through God's eyes, you are so stretched out of your comfort zone, you can't even use the words "comfort or zone", they just don't fit at all.
I know I'm supposed to be doing this deal, but I am so overwhelmed. I'm throwing class in the mix next week, too, just to add insult to injury. And it's about leadership. Wheeeeee......which way did they go? how many were there? I must find them, for I am their leader...... Yeah.
Pray for me, friends. I have one good nerve left, and it's frayed around the edges. I need prayers like never before. I want to get on facebook and wail about it, and have 60 people tell me it's going to be ok. But, the beautiful thing about testing yourself outside of your comfort zone....
Only one thing has to be ok with your situation, and when you are your most broken, that's when you just give it to Him to handle.
Handle it, oh Lord. I can't drive this bus by myself.
I don't remember how I found your blog, but put it under my favorites. It's most definitely a God thing. I am 51, have 3 grown daughters and have been fostering for 4 years. We always get babies, and right now have a 6 month old and a 9 month old. I just want you to know that you are in my prayers and God will help you through it. (You can find me on FB when you are through with your fast!)
ReplyDeleteJanell Huntsman