I've almost kicked my facebook fast in the face.
It has been the longest 21 days of my life, but Wednesday I am BACK.
And I really can't wait.
It's a bit sad, I quit thinking in facebook statuses last week. I'm hoping that my facebook mojo kicks back in.
This has been the most I have been stretched and depressed and doubting that I have been in a while.
It's been exhausting.
But it's also been very eye-opening.
I almost gave up the kids this month. I was too sad, too defeated, too overwhelmed, too over-my-head, to think I could do it another day.
Then Lacey told you to text me and everyone told me to stay in the boat.
And then today, at church, Craig might as well been preaching directly at my face.
"It's going to get hard, it's going to be difficult, it would be so much EASIER to just give up....but ...... stay the course. NEVER EVER EVER Give up."
I try to imagine my life in a year without the kids. Would my life be easier if they weren't here? What would all of that look like?
Then I decided it's all about perspective and attitude.
And I had lost both of those. Totally. Lost. Them.
January is a tough month. I miss Laynie so much during this month, that it threatens to overwhelm. But, God has my plan, and when I talk to anyone about the blessings that flow through my life, it is so evident I am doing EXACTLY what I am supposed to do, and I CANNOT give up.
I WILL NOT give up.