Thankful

This whole day has been just weird.

Hallie spent the night with a friend, so it was just lovelies and me. 

I know that Lacey & Kip are in California, but mom is next door, and Hallie is just 1 mile away, but all the sudden I feel terrifically alone.

Yes, I have children all over my house, and noise everywhere, but the reality is, two of MY children are grown. 

And before long, Hallie will be whizzing off to college, and if she has her way, she will be states and states away from this place. 

So the reality is...it won't be too long, until it's just me. 

And mom. 

Then what?

I'm not scared, or heartsick, just a bit reflective this evening.  Hal has been hanging out most of the day today at a friend's house, and It's just been me and children that are living with me here.

I'm being frank.

I could have spent the entire day getting a pedicure, lounging through the mall, looking for sales, seeing a movie, watching something other than netflix on tv, and just being lazy and doing what I want to do.

Instead I took kids for haircuts, I shopped for big girl sizes, and picked up a big sister that thinks I'm a cross between Mother Theresa and the devil, depending on the time of the week it is.  I fought with a three year old over taking a nap, that he so desperately needed.  I cooked supper for 6 people, and finally at 8:00, am sitting down.

I got a text from Kip about 5:00 California time that they had arrived, and was met by my precious Aunt Nancy and Uncle Lavonne, and then Brandon taking them to turn in their very reliable rental car, followed shortly by a surprise welcome home at Brandon's house.  A picture of the three of them, whizzed on my message and my lovelies cheered like a rockstar had walked in the house.

Brandon is loved well in this house.

Of course, I had to skype and meet everyone, and the sound wouldn't work, so we talked through the speakers of our phone.  It was great and sad, all at the same time.

It's my new reality.  Something I am going to have to embrace. 

My children are now past the point of needing me every day.  Even Hallie is there, though she still needs me to haul her to and fro, she is so close to being grown, it's unbelieveable.

Tonight, with big sister here, Lovely has been having serious meltdowns, because Big Sis constantly reminds her that this is all temporary, and that she will be going home soon.  I finally had to hush her up, because Lovely was escalating toward near panic, and the last thing I need is for her to go to sleep with big problems on her mind. 

But even the reality of that, is that they probably ARE going to have to go home.   I don't think it will happen soon, but the attorney's attitude is  "Even a marginal home, is still a home." 

So i'm reflective this evening... my mind a whirl of thoughts of daughters growing up so quickly, and not taking advantage of their young lives. 

Maybe that is why you treasure grandchildren so much, because you know how in an instant they are grown. 

Today I will focus on treasuring the gifts that are in my house to treasure, and know what an incredible gift I've been given.

Today I will be thankful.