It's pretty fun to see what has transpired in my life.
Here was my blog from 4 years ago.
Time to Start Healing- 2014
I read that this morning, and that day in court came flooding back into my memories.
Fast forward 4 years.
Here was yesterday....
Time has healed my kids. They are healthy enough to not only see mom, but dad too. Three years of weekly counseling has helped them heal from the trauma that was their everyday life. We saw dad for the first time at Zach's birthday last year. We had been seeing mom and sister pretty steady the last few years, but kids never were ready to see dad. Until October, and mom begged again for kids to let their dad come. I looked them all square in the eye, and told them, "You are ready. You are not the victims anymore, you are the overcomers." Steven told me, "It's time to forgive." #cuekleenexes
So the last visits have been odd, healing, hot messes. Mom can't come without an entire carload of food to bring the kids, and she spends most of our time together, kissing everyone, including me. I'm getting used to it. #notawkwardatall
The kids always cry when they leave, and I feel helpless and want to be sarcastic and all snarky to try and get them back right. But we do it, and always plan the next one so the parents know when we will see each other again.
It's weird, it's hard, it's the right thing.
So my two newbies. Doing good. Sis is a DIVA. I mean, D I V A. Sassafrass diva. Lacey was NOTHING compared to this kid. So we've had the "Talk" about respect and boundaries, and what is expected. She may be going to bed at 6 pm the entire time she is here. I'm talking.....W O W.
Mommin' is hard.
My friend I work with, Katelyn, came over yesterday and watched the newbies, while the vietnamese and I did our bio meeting and we were talking when I got home. I thought for ten seconds I would be doing emergency placement for a 4 year old boy last night. Gina and Steven and Katelyn and I were talking and I told them that Mommin' was tough. The younger they are, the harder you mom. I'm using MOM as a verb here.
And I'm back to mommin' hard lately. I have 3, count them, THREE 7 and 8 year olds. Not only are they clueless as heck, they are developing sassafrass tendencies and whoa, nelly.
So, I'm back to hard core mommin.
Pastor Craig talked today about indifference. How most people live in lukewarm indifference about their relationship with God, a "Meh" attitude. The thing that really resonated with me was his call to us to Every Day, do something that requires FAITH.
People. If I didn't have Faith, I couldn't do this deal. You know the other day when I said I stinkin' love this?
I might have been a bit hasty.
Naw, I'm kidding. It's just hard as heck to mom hard. So pray for me. Pray for my SASSAFRASS diva, and my tattletale son, who thinks it's his call to duty to report EVERY LIVING LITTLE THING to his MAMA, like the planet would cease to turn if he didn't tattle EVERY LIVING LITTLE DETAIL to his MAMA.
We moved beds, we rearranged rooms, we cleaned, we kicked some move in butt today. I am exhausted but wanted to process.
They are good kids. We will figure it out. I raised Lacey DeeAnn and she is the most amazing adult, so I know sassafrasses can turn out ok.
Just living the dream out here on the ranch. Mommin' it up.
Pray for me, cause God is Good.
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