Oh, I gave gifts at Christmas. I shopped for Foster children, and I was hands on. I walked in the mile walk and donated 2 little suitcases. I see foster kids in and out of my class at church, and marvel at the foster parents, how together they are to have 9 children in their home.
God has been moving in my heart in a BIG way.
It started out as me thinking I wanted to be a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) (which in reality it should be Court appointed Children's Advocate, but who would want to be a CACA?) so it's called Special advocate... and I went to ALL the training (4 weeks of that), and ended up stepping out. Because God is calling me to foster.
I've talked to Hallie and she is pumped. I was worried how she would feel about another kid in the house, and she is really excited about it.. "Just think mom, if we get a 10 year, she'll go in with all the 2nd generation of my friends" (little sisters of friends right now)...so she is stoked.
She doesn't realize that these kids come to your house broken. Sad, empty, sometimes abused, both physically and sexually, and sometimes just so emotionally beaten, they can't even comprehend love.
Also, there are currently over 8000 (I KNOW!~) kids in the system right now. 8000 kids. And the shelters are packed, the group homes are packed, there is no way these kids are getting the love they need and deserve. I can't sit idly by anymore, and just watch tv, and be lazy. God commands us to serve, and I cannot think of a better use of energy than to help a child. None.
We went to a foster workshop yesterday at church, and I found tears rolling down my cheeks as I listened to foster parent, after foster parent, share their story. And an 18 year old that stood up and shared her story, that after 13 foster homes in 5 years, she finally found her "Forever Home".
I looked online just out of curiosity, and I was horrified to see pages and pages of pictures of children, older children, like a dating site for prospective parents. You go and look at them and read about them, and then attend an "Adoption picnic", where the kids are basically on display and you walk through and look at them. I can't think of anything more heart-rending than watching all those people walk by and you are left behind. Shattering. I, for one, would love to think of a better way to do things, but I know there are people out there, like me, that have time, and energy and could foster some kids, and bring love and hope into their lives.
The thing that still springs to mind today..the foster parents sharing... "They come late at night, with just the clothes on their backs, and their hearts totally broken." These children did nothing wrong. They were victims of being born into substance abuse, parental abuse, cycles of poverty, that they have no control over. And they are, by all accounts, stripped from the only homes they have ever known.
My heart is broken.
I don't have a lot of room in my tiny 1200 sq foot house, but I have room in my 1,000,000 square foot heart, so we are going to do this thing. I've started researching agencies, and I'm going to go to therapeutic training for these kids. I want to give them everything they need. Love, shelter, love, food, love, help, consistency, fun, love, Hallie, love, their own space, love and God. And I'm giving it over to God to figure out all the tiny details, because He will. He's got me totally covered.
So pray for us.... as we begin this new season. As I'm going to Haiti with Lacey first week of June, I'm hoping to have most of my training accomplished before I go, so I can get the wheels turning when I get back.
Hallie listened to all the speakers and she leaned over and said, "We're going to end up with 12 kids, aren't we?" And I chuckled, because only God knows that one.
And He is good.
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