Dating 101

I am borrowing this from my facebook note back from January 2011.  It's been 15 months and there is STILL truth in the pudding.

Here goes....
You will all remember that I dipped my big toe into the dating arena for a few mad-capped, ridiculous outings. Well, apparently, even after you have left the highly esteemed, Match.com..(which I have forever re-named it Match.ho) .your picture and profile live on and on.... and on....

Let me just tell you....If the guys that are still "Winking" and "Favorite"-ing me, are the big indicators for what is left out there....stick a fork in me...cause I'm done.

First, here's what I'd really like to say on my profile, and I may just do it to slow down the crazies, but here goes....

Slightly Awkward tallish woman seeks non-freak. 

If you feel compelled to have a picture on your profile of you either

1)standing on a beach wearing only a banana hammock, 

(OR, update from yesterday) standing holding a fish the size of a minnow, with no shirt on, and have an overhang that puts Buddha to shame

2) decked out in camo standing in front of your jacked up 4 x 4,

3) same camo in front of your carcass you just bagged,

4) have 16 pictures of your harley,

5) have a plethora of pictures of yourself with other women,

6) have a picture of yourself dressed in a very tight cop suit, with the sleeves cut out, caressing a 45 on your cheek (oh, I so wish I was kidding on this one. In fact, you can thank this bozo for today's note)....

7) have more mispelled words than correctly spelled words, or

8) have a picture of yourself in your cut out armhole redneck tshirt showing your bulging pecs AND biceps ,

9) have a wide variety and assortment of your Pomeranian doggie,

10) have a lovely, greased handlebar mustache that compliments your pony tail, or

11) any combination of any of the above...... then, I'm probably NOT going to respond to your kind "WINK". That's just the way I roll.

Really, I realize these guys clearly don't suffer from self-esteem issues, but .... Eeeeuuuhh?  I'm crawling under my bed and staying there...maybe forever.

I'm destined to be single, I feel it in my bones. And that's ok by me. I know how cool I am .

Peace out.