I have stalked Ree Drummond like a crazy woman for awhile now. She cracks me totally up. In fact, she and I could be total twins.
Except for the whole "happily married" thing.
Oh, and her ability to dance.
Oh, and the cooking thing.
And the red hair.
And the country living thing.
Except for those few things, we could totally be twins.
For reals.
After I sweated my tata's off at the Wings of Hope run Saturday morning, I raced to Full Circle Book Store in OKC to listen to my favorite blogger on the planet. And have her sign 2000 books for me. Ok, 4.
She was hilarious. She sang on stage. In Ethel Merman for a minute, and a bass bravado for another minute, and then she tried (and laughed) to finish seriously. How can you sing Endless Love in a serious manner while we are looking at pics of her dog, Charlie?? Can't be done.
Here's the view I had of her.
Yep, I had her back view. She would glance over her shoulder as if to say "What are you people doing over here?" and being the swift photographer that I am, I never caught her looking at us. It's ok, I could make out her slides on the tiny laptop sitting on the table by the projector. She was precious.
When I heard she was coming to OKC, I hurried and bought a cookbook from the store, so I could get in the first group of stalkers, uhm, FANS to get to meet her. Normally, I wouldn't be so wild to meet someone (especially after I've sweated all morning at a run), but she is something special.
At Dale Rogers Training Center, I have the job of selling and promoting our spice kits. Our clients in our workshop, on site, package the Made in Oklahoma spices and individually label them. They are delicious and unique and fabulous.
I got it in my head that if Ree Drummond would talk about them on her blog "The Pioneer Woman" that we would sell about a trillion of them. And I could keep our clients busy making kits for the rest of time. I'm pretty sure that would happen.
So last August, I threw caution to the wind and sent her a box with our spices in it, and crossed my fingers and waiting breathlessly by the computer, certain she would blog about the wonderful kit that she had been been given. Weeks passed, Nothing. It's ok, she DOES have a life, and 4 kids and a dead sexy hub, so I knew she has her hands full.
Then, as I was at the Oklahoma Roundup, with Children's Miracle Network, attending with Lacey and LOVING on those sweet little kids, I spotted "Drummond Land and Cattle" as one of the competitors... COULD it be possible?? The Pioneer Woman would be in the same arena as me?? (taking the other 10000 people there out of account).... and yes....by wiggies, after scanning the crowd with Lacey's zoom lens on her DSLR, I found her. (I"m telling you, I'm so weird). Instead of looking like a stalker, I just scanned the room with the camera...total normal stuff, right?? Anyway, I agonized on how I could go and meet her. Lacey just looked at me like I had flipped my lid, but I was convinced she would want to meet me. Right?? I'm funny, we are practically twins. It could happen.
Nope. Totally chickened out. But in hindsight, I wished I had gone to her and suggested a picture with the Miracle kids that were there, because SHE would have LOVED them. Precious little gifts.
Moving on.
Phase 2 of stalking commences. We add a new spice kit to our spice line and I know that she will LOVE them, because they have the cutest little acrylic cowboy hats, so I send her 2 (because one isn't enough, and yet another Prairie Spice kit, on the chance she has used the two I have already sent her.)
Isnt' that adorable? You can use the hat as a serving bowl for the cheese ball you make with the spices, and it has the cutest boot spreader in the world. What a great gift. I KNEW this would propel her to write about us. Weeks pass. Nothing. She is busy. She is filming her Food Network show. She is homeschooling 4 children. She is knocking over donut cases in Circle K's in northern Oklahoma. She has things to do. It's ok. She's really going to do it. She is.
Then Valentines Day is around the corner. I have been Dale Rogers stalking her for about 6 months. I decide that since babies are her kryptonite, that the clients at Dale Rogers, as precious as they are, will tip the scales in our favor. So I enlist our workshop to make valentines for a scrapbook for the busy, but loveable P-Dub. (get it?) Here are a few pictures of the adorable scrapbook that we ( "we" meaning Gayle, our amazing graphic arts person at DRTC) made for her..as a token of our love and appreciation...
So now you have a small taste of what we have been sending to Ree Drummond. Finally it was my turn to get my books signed. I had my HR director with me, taking pictures, and it never occured to any of us to just look at the camera and smile.. we were too busy becoming BFF's, just the way I knew we would, if ever given a chance...
I look so amazing, I just don't know how she could resist me. Remember, came directly from the fog, rain run, so I am LOOKING good. I think at this point she is trying to avoid eye contact.
She finally looks at me and kind of stops writing, so aghast at my lovely hair.
She finally connects the dots and exclaims to me "OH MY GOSH, I LOVE that scrapbook! It's on my coffee table at home!" I'm like "YES, YES, that is us!!" though her hand could indicate, "Hey, you are THAT person, and where is security?"
I'm not even sure what my face is doing here, but she is saying she would like to come visit the facility and I am pretty sure I was happy about that. Even though my face looks like I might be having a small coronary. (I might have been, she was such a delight)
Here I am cracking her up with my quick wit and extraordinary hand gestures. Good thing I was holding books, it could have gotten out of hand. I could be circling windmills.
I really like this one, because she has decided we could be BFF's at this point, in spite of my lovely visor, and hat hair. I am dead certain.
I remember back last year, when I met Karen Kingsbury, and we became BFF's too (she really did call me after I proofed her new book for her, and we had about a 45 minute conversation on my cellphone, true story, yes, Karen K is in my phone) yet, initially upon meeting her, I was rendered speechless and only after the fact, able to tell her what I wanted to through my blog, and as usual..... that's how I will send my message to my newest BFF, Ree Drummond.
Ree, what a pleasure to meet you. You make my day bright with your humorous blogs and yummy recipes I will probably never make (though I do love your enchiladas, i make those all the time). I am YOUR Dale Rogers stalker and nothing in the world would thrill me (and our clients) more than for you to, just one time, blog about us and our spices on your home and garden page, and direct your trillion readers to our online store, so they too, can have the spicy yummy goodness in their pantries (where she told me all my kits were presently in her home). We would be HONORED to have you come and tour our facility, and I know you will be right at home with our clients, because your brother Mike has pretty much taken all the mystery out of disabilities for you, as he is our hero at Dale Rogers. Self sufficient and full of life and love, everyone in his town loves him and that's the way it is every day around Dale Rogers. We'd also love to invite you to our 60th anniversary next year, when Roy Rogers & Dale Evan's grandson, Dusty, will be here with his band, and we will have events galore. What an honor for you (and your family) to be here.
That's what I would have said. I'm always really good after the fact.
When I'm there, I'm all sweaty pits and palms, wild hand gestures, and it gets ugly in a hurry.
But I know in my heart, we are truly BFF's.
It could happen.
If you don't already read her blog, you totally should. The link is over on my Favorite Blogs on the right side of this page. She'll be your BFF soon too.
All I know is I need a haircut and a tan, and not necessarily in that order.