The Next Step

Today, at the bio parent visit, I totally skipped it.

Couldn't even bear to watch the awkwardness of the whole deal.

Parents still deep in denial, kids firm in their stance they aren't going back.

It's all a big fat mess.

Then, the social worker came for our monthly home visit and brought up the adoption subject.

"What are your feelings on the subject?"

Hello, what?

Adoption?  Gulp.  Forever?  Gulp.  Like, mine?  Gulp.

It's not that I haven't thought about it.  But when I think about it, it gets too big, too intense.  So I just can't go there.

I've prayed and prayed on this.  These kids need a mom AND a dad.  I can't give that to them.  These little boys need a male role model.  I can't give that to them.  And it's looking more and more that I will never date again, and the chance is shrinking daily that there will be a male role model for these boys.

So I need you all the network for me.  Network the skies for me.  If any of you knows ANYONE that is longing to adopt some wonderful, precious little souls that are seriously the best kids on the planet, you need to send them my way.

I think case worker is going to start pushing for termination.  I can foster them until a permanent home is found, and we can do visitation from my home, to make sure that the fit will work.   And pray, too.  Pray for these kids without ceasing, that God's will for them is done.  If I was 10 years younger, I think I could consider adoption, but the bottom line is....I would be 69 before BB would graduate HS.  And how fair is that to him?

So be in prayer, and network every resource for me, someone out there is wanting some children, and I can vouch for these kids that they are just precious little souls.

Pray with and for me, that I can be led exactly the way I need to go.  I covet your prayers.