Laynie Lessons: Living through Loss

I attended a memorial service for a beautiful young man today.  He was born in September after I had my Lacey in June, and I  enjoyed their youngster friendship that they shared.  He was a BIG baby, and he had a tiny, skinny mama and watching her haul him around was just great fun.

He died July 5 at the age of 27.  How do you say goodbye to someone that has just started their life?

What do you say to parents that are just "coping" through the loss? and the family?  Where do you find  the words?

Really, there are  no appropriate words...you just show up, and love them.  That's all people did for us, they showed up.

When people would cry talking to us and ask us how in the world we were coping with the loss of Laynie, Lacey would tell them... "You know, we signed up for this."  We knew going in that our days  would be short.  We  reveled in every single second of her life.

When you have a healthy child, you kind of take for granted "normal".  And I am here to  tell you, that NORMAL is just a setting on your dryer.

I watched another friend lose her brother around Easter, reeling in the suddenness of the loss.  Loss is ever present, never ending.

And the thing is, you never know when it's going to happen. One minute it's life as 'normal',and  the next minute...life is over. .  And how we chose to live our lives up until that moment,  counts for everything.  How you show your love, and share your life.... it's everything.  I've never heard one person say  on their dying bed, "Man, I wish I had worked more at the office.  I wish I had spent more time getting that big account." It's all about family, and love, when it all comes down  to it.

Every single day of your life is a gift.  Every single day.  Laynie taught us that you don't live in the future, rushing along, pushing ahead,  you live right in the  minute, so when a loss does occur, you've showed up.

I got to hold Laynie #2  today.  Her mama shared with me how her daddy heard that name, and snapped it up, and said, "That's her name, no more discussion" and, yep...that's our girls' name.  I told Miss Laynie  Belle today that she has a lot to live up to, and she whispered  back to me that she was going to so something big, and I believe her.

For every  loss, there is new life.  It doesn't ease the pain, but  it gives us new Hope. New joy.

Life is short.  Love  is eternal.  Show it, and live it.

That's what Laynie taught me.

And that's what Laynie #2's mommy will teach her.