You would think with time that it would get easier, but it doesn't work like that. You will be rolling along and think, "OK!!! I am over the hump", then something small, like finding one of her toys, or a picture smiling at me on my phone, or unearthing one of her bags of blankets during the garage sale, and watching someone leave with her personalized towel (that she never got to use because it was WAY too big for her). But still.....it was hers.
Just hard.
It has become increasingly evident to me, over the last few days, that God is abundantly faithful. Though I wanted Laynie to heal and live, she served her purpose here on earth. Our friend, Trent Austin, summed it up so perfectly at her celebration of life, "Laynie impacted more lives in her short time on earth, than some of the 70 year olds in the room".
It's true. We all are different. One thing that I know for sure, is I could have never bore the pain of losing her, without Jesus Christ at the helm of my life. He delivered me and my family through an insanely hard time. God didn't cause it, God didn't stop it, God just carried us. Because He didn't say, "Oh life is going to be a big ole bowl of cherries and ANYTHING you WANT you just let me know".
He says, "Life is going to be troubled, and if you seek me and trust me, I will carry you through it" and that...my friends....is the joy I feel in the sadness.
Now that some time has passed, God is revealing "The Bigger Picture" and it's more than any of us ever dreamed.
If Laynie taught me anything, it's LIVE IN THE MOMENT and Trust that whatever crisis you are in at the moment...it will pass, and God will get you through it, and make you a stronger and better person.
I have a bunch of Laynie pictures to share, and I will Do that soon.....because wow, we have friends that rock my socks off. And Lacey's socks off....
And I know a tiny angel in heaven smiling down on all this stuff and running...and running...and running.
God is good, all the time.
I truly regret not being in touch with you when Laynie was alive. I know I missed out on a true joy by not knowing her. But you keep her love and memory alive by sharing her story. I wore purple today but I am not adept at taking a "selfie" so I didn't post a picture. I thought of you throughout the day when I'd see all the pictures. I know your faith is deep and strong and far reaching!
ReplyDeleteOnce I heard an analogy of God's plan that made a lot of sense to me. God has a big needlepoint tapestry for each of us that He is working on. All we see is the underneath. The tangle of threads and knots of our daily struggles and troubled times. What we don't see is the incredible masterpiece on the top that He is creating. And incredible it is!
I am so sorry you lost your sweet Laynie too soon. But yes, she touched and continues to touch hearts!
Laynie continues to touch our lives. Love you.
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