Lacey's word for 2020 is "Brave". I would argue that she is the bravest person I know.
You know when you have your own kids, you always wonder first of all, how in the world are you going to raise these tiny humans, and later, I hope they turn into great adults.
My tiny human, my first born, wasn't given that luxury with her first born. She was handed a decision so huge for a 23 year old. She told doctors no when they told her to terminate. She boldly walked into the unknown, and I watched in magnificent awe as she and Laynie built their story.
My role was head cheerleader, lead historian and comic relief. I made sure Lacey always knew I had her back and every word out of my mouth was "It will be ok"! (with a little fist pump and high kick). As historian, I wrote and recorded EVERY SINGLE thing that happened with our girl, even though sometimes it was hard for Lacey to give me permission to write about everything (the good, the bad and the ugly) in our lives, I think her allowing me to share the journey impacted thousands of people. Comic relief speaks for itself.
When Lacey was about 2 years in to college, she came to me and told me she wanted to change her major. I was floored because my order driven, numbers loving, calculator brain accountant daughter, who had wanted to do something with math for as long as I known her, told me she was changing her major to Child Development. "I don't know why, mom, but I feel I need to do this"
To say I was stunned by this turn of events might be a small understatement. I'm pretty sure I used terms like "Glorified Babysitter" and "No money" and "YOU WANT TO DO WHAT" to her, all at the same time and maybe for the course of a few weeks after the big announcement.
HOWEVER, without me knowing it, God already had HIS plan in motion for her. Lacey was being obedient to HIS calling.
Because in 4 short years, she would be using all the things she had learned and she would be learning, hands on, even more...... every single day.
Lacey was so brave. She faced unknowns with her girl, and met them head on. She stayed relentless in her pursuit of keeping Laynie safe and healthy, and because of her talent and expertise, Laynie lived longer (than any doctor expected) .... and happier ..... and SO VERY LOVED and adored.
Little scamp reached up to kiss her and flat out bit her mama.
They were best buds.
Lacey was teaching her sign language when she got sick, and she had little cards to show Laynie pictures of mama, milk, juice, dada, bath.... all the things. After Laynie had passed, and I thought I had done an OK job of putting things away, just to help ease some of that pain..... .. Lacey didn't feel like she could be called a mom anymore. (man this is hard to type, because those were hard days, aching for my daughter who was the best mom in the world, with her baby in heaven) and I kept telling her, "You will always be a mom...you are her mom". and in her doubting pain, on Mother's day the year after Laynie died, she was moving some towels in the bathroom, or was moving books, I can't remember exactly, but she found the sign language card for "mama", and Lacey said, "It was like God sent me a sign".
People share with me, their struggles and their pain, and their worries and I have to tell you that sometimes life's not easy, it's SO flippin' HARD and the decisions and the choices and the fear of loss can consume you, but God promises us He is by our side and will never leave us. The key is... Being Brave and meeting it head on, because you know GOD has your back...even in the ashes, He is There.
But this blog for Laynie on her birthday, is more about her Mama and what she has done with her life since the gift of Laynie. I want you to see how God's hand is ALL up in it.....
Lacey worked for Children's Hospital Foundation (children's miracle network in oklahoma) for several years after Laynie died. She learned invaluable tools about non-profit. She also got her master's during this time. She learned all things non-profit and grant writing and fundraising, and what that looked like. Loved her job, loved her people, loved sharing Laynie with all her clients and families. It got her through the loss of her marriage, the loss of her baby, a move to a new place.... CMN was vital as breathing to her during those days. God carried her through, and she bravely moved on. It was through CMN she met Tyler Lacey's blog about Tyler (if you want to revisit that incredible story)
When she ended up marrying Tyler and moving back to Shawnee, it became clear driving back and forth to the other side of Oklahoma City wasn't in the cards, so she started the hunt in Shawnee, and there wasn't much in the job department, she ended up working at the DA's office. She learned about the court system, and how to spell subpoena and also how to write one. She learned all about the system and how it worked. Many days she wondered why God had led her there.
The job at Legacy was one she had considered when she first moved to Shawnee, but it didn't work out and now, looking back, God even had his hand in that. She needed to work in that DA office, to have the experience of the court system, and see how all that works, because with that in her tool belt, she was ready to go and take that knowledge, so when families came in and they were wherever in the legal system of getting kids, or fighting to get kids back, Lacey knows how to help them. Without that "why in the world am I here" time down at the courthouse, Lacey wouldn't have had the skills to make Legacy Parenting Center into the incredible place it is today.
It's crazy how God works. He puts you in places and situations you don't really understand, to build you up and put you in places you won't believe you GET to be in.
And on Laynie's birthday, I think this is the perfect time to ASK if any of you have time to volunteer. Lacey has a plethora of different opportunities at Legacy, where you can be as hands on as sitting in, loving on and mentoring families, or as quick and easy as running by and picking up donations, taking them to your house to wash and fold. And she ALWAYS, ALWAYS needs volunteers. You may think you are busy and don't have time to give an hour or two a week, (THAT'S IT!) but I am here to tell you, when you start doing things for others, outside of all of "YOUR own STUFF", that's when life gets really good. And there isn't anything more important than helping empower families to become strong families in our community. Legacy has an adorable "store" where families can "shop" with the points they earn taking their lessons. If you like retail, volunteer there! They give out diapers, and more diapers and even more diapers. Not a people person?? Count out diapers and shrink wrap them into packs for families. I'm telling you, this place... It's just amazing. And did I mention she ALWAYS needs volunteers? And your kid's gently used clothing, and toys. Don't think there isn't a place for you. There is ALWAYS someways to help.... If you are retired, work part-time, have time on your hands and wish you had a way to give back..... Hello, did you know Lacey needs volunteers at Legacy? Have I mentioned that??
So when Lacey says her word for 2020 is "Brave" ...... watch OUT!
Because God taught her all about being brave ..... In the form of a tiny miracle....
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Happy birthday, Layniebug ! So thankful for your miraculous life
and all the beautiful things you taught us.
And look at me, still being your mama's biggest cheerleader !
Love you Forever and two days....
and miss you as much,
your Lolly
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