But everything has changed.
I dropped a piece of my heart off at the airport today at 2:00.
She left on a plane, with her brother Corey, and a piece of my heart went with her.
Here they were getting ready to leave at the airport.
but all I could see was this...
Back after Hallie had committed to going and we were researching all the times parents actually come to West Point, I knew that "R" (reception) day would be a booger for me and my girl.
For one, she's leaving. For two, you have 90 seconds and they walk away.
No, thank you, please.
So we devised a plan. Chaurley (her oldest sister from her dad) lives in NYC. She would go early and "wean" off us, and Chaurley and Danny (her hubs) would go with her for all that. Come to find out her super smart brother, Corey, needed to take the MCAT, and there is one in NYC on Thursday. "Hey I will go with her".
Everything about this part seemed brilliant.
Until the day she was to go.
It started last night. Actually it started the night before that with her best friends, Kassidy and Brad. That goodbye took like 4 hours in one driveway. Exhaustion, no sleep and on to Monday we go. Hallie has decided Lacey has to come over Monday night and so does Matt & Jessi Sutterfield and their tiny female humans. Lacey did great until she didn't. She was entertaining at it's finest. Until she wasn't. Coach Stephanie Kane and Miranda Schreiner ran by and said adieu as well. Just a tough, tough night.
We went to the doctor earlier in the day, and he said everything we didn't want to hear. No weight bearing for 3-4 more weeks, if she went, she would end up breaking it through and through...blah blah blah blah blah.
I remember hearing doctor after doctor telling us all the horrible things Laynie was going to experience. All. The. Appointments. Until the end, NONE of the crap they said would happen, happened. It was all conjecture on their parts! DO YOU KNOW WHY?
God Had Her Plan.
As we were despairing all the doctor's news, we took lunch in with Greg and Kadie Dewey. If you have spent time with Greg Dewey, you know you are close as you can get to hearing "What Would Jesus Do" in a human walking this earth. As we despaired to him about the doc visit, he leaned in and asked, "Wonder what God is up to with this change of plans? If you have to go a different route, where is HE Leading you? As long as you follow HIM, He is going to lead you where you are suppose to be." (INSERT GIANT SIGH OF SPIRITUAL RELIEF RIGHT HERE).
We had the world's shortest goodbye hug (Greg, "Quick goodbyes work best") and I made a rash decision in the car, "You NEED NEW SHOES. If we are going to try and do this thing, you have to have a right shoe that your giant swolled up mess of a toe will fit in."
One phone call to Jim Woolly, a pass onto Tinker Air Force Base later, he guides us into the military shoe buying area and about 45 minutes later we are leaving the base with two GIANT pair of WIDE SHOES (low quarter, and running shoes). Her boots fit fine with her toe (they are massively tall in the toe area, so she has plenty of room for some reason. She meandered around the house in them. We decided the left foot would have to suck up all the extra space with moleskin and 9 pairs of socks and liners, but by golly, we have a right foot that doesn't make her fall to the floor in excruciating pain now.
I wish I had taken a picture of her backpack. How many kids go to college and take a 35 pound backpack with all their worldly belongings?? It was one heavy, stupid heavy, pack. But hopefully, she will have enough underwear, sports bras, SOCKS (omg, SOCKS), etc. to get her through the next 6 weeks.
West Point Coach told her that she had to get through at least 2 weeks of basic training. I'm guessing this crazy girl, will tape the toe to her leg if she has to and just power through. I love her teammates already, one of them, Monica, told her mom that she was going to run the 2 miles with Hallie and make sure she gets it done. She already has a family that has her back.
So when she crawled into bed with me this morning at 5 am, and we cried together for about an hour, I sat up and told her that God did NOT put a spirit of fear in our hearts. That we were letting SATAN take our joy. I pulled up YouVersion on my phone (Best Bible APP ever) Verse of the day...1 Peter 5:8-9 said "Be Alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings". WOW. KAPOW right between the eyes.
and then I pulled up my facebook and it shows all my old posts and I had posted this 4 YEARS AGO today.
June 27, 2013
"Today I was reading my bible and Psalm 138, which I've read a thousand times,
but, today I read it different. It doesn't say, As soon as I pray, God will give me everything I asked for on a silver platter...it says, He will give me the strength I need to face it, and get it done. "
How's that for some KLOVE encouragement, Hallie Pooh? She liked it.
Then we read this from June 27, 2011....(conversation in car with Kip)
Hallie: "I want to NOT live in OK when I grow up."
Kip: "Where will you live?"
Hallie: "In California"
Me: "Well, maybe you can live with Chaurley"
Hallie: "Wouldn't it be weird to live with my sister when I'm old and she's old? (pauses,..thinks) "Wait, that's what Kip is doing" (Kip who was just back from World Race, living with Lacey)
Kip: "uhm, Thanks, Hal."
That set us off to laughing, and the morning got better.
We dropped by Norman North and picked up her diploma, and inside the envelope was a letter the 8th grade Hallie had written to "Older Hallie"
It was a 2 1/2 page handwritten letter, and I have to tell you, we laughed and cried.
She talked quite a bit about her friends, (Clearly egging her on to include them as she wrote the letter), but parts that stuck out to me, " I really hope you stuck with volleyball and are really good, but not cocky". "I hope you did good in school, and kept good grades." "I hope you stayed pure, I hope you stayed tough". "Have a best friend I have yet to meet". "Kept playing music!!" "I hope you don't think young me was lame, because right now I feel like I am trying as hard as I can to make something of myself. I can't wait to be you because I know I am privileged and stuff but I just feel like you are gonna be really awesome." "Do you remember Gina, Steven and Zachary?" I wonder how they will be in 4 years?? Has Brandon proposed to Kip? Did Chaurley come back from New York? (She just left Last Saturday?) Did you get into college on a full scholarship to play volleyball? PLEASE SAY YES. "Did Vampire Diaries and Glee end?" And she ended it "If you haven't done things right, just remember you can always fix them even if you don't feel like you can. I hope you got close to your brothers and sisters. Be your best and Never Give Up".
You guys. She is a dandy. Her 8th grade self was just as cool and clever as her West Point bound self.
Don't mind my puffy face in this picture. I had cried in spurts for hours.
My heart left on a jet plane today. Prayers for her toe. Prayers for her spirit. Prayers for her peace