Good Grief

I have 3000 things I need to do tonight, but I have something I've been thinking about a couple of weeks on my mind and I have to get it in writing. 

I work in the funeral business.  It's what I do.  It's who I am. 

I met a 48 year old man today.  four sons.  a wife.  He has cheated death since 2001.  "I'm living on borrowed time, but I am GOING to see my youngest son graduate high school".  He's Hal's age. 

I visited with a lady a few weeks ago, that I was stunned to find out she was 73.  I seriously thought she was about 60.  Just BEE-YOU-TEE-FULL, young face, energetic.  More OOmph than me, to tell you the truth.

She lost her son when he was just 24.  As we visited and I helped her arrange her and her husbands funerals, we visited about her son.  I asked all about him, and asked how he died, and how she recovered from it. 

She told me that she had a stroke, she had grieved so hard when he died.  "It literally BROKE my heart, Laura". 

Then I felt my heart kind of break too. 

The one thing that resonates with all the families that I work with, is how important is to everyone, that their loved one is remembered. 

I remember after Austin died, my cousin Shannon telling me, "I just want everyone to know him, and to remember him".  And when I talked to my beautiful 73 year old, she said she had visited a young friend in the hospital a week earlier, and that girl had told her a story about her son that she had never heard, and told that thankful mom, "I think about him all the time, what a good friend is was, and I miss him everyday".  She teared up telling me that story, because it meant so much to her. 

I talk about Laynie all the time.  No one that leaves me, doesn't hear how Laynie affected my life, in some way.  Her life was so significant.  It changed people.  I want to share it with everyone. 

Reading my facebook friend, Ryan's journey about her precious daughter, Ellie Kate, and how significant her life was...and how grief comes in waves... you never know what will set you off, and how even small gestures are significant when talking to someone about their lost loves. 

Another thing that is important, talk to us about our loved ones.  Don't think it will hurt us to talk about them....it hurts more NOT to.    If it starts to hurt, we will tell you, but please, please, please, share your memories with us.   It makes us know that they weren't only significant to us, but they were to you, too. 

Share pictures with us on instagram, facebook, text messaging.  We may not have seen the pictures you have, and it's a gift to have those memories. 

But most importantly, cherish what you have.  I want to drop kick half of my kids, about 23 hours of the 24 hour days, but I wouldn't want to have to try to survive without them.  Let them feel your love and your gratitude for their mouthy, entitled selves.  :)  (We're having a day here in paradise). 

Send a text to someone that has lost a loved one, it'll make their day.