One step forward two steps back

Without going into much detail.... things were good and bad today. 

Good because one parent terminated rights. 

Bad because now they are using that to get the other parent custody.

I believe in the goodness of people.  I believe that everyone should be given second chances.  Without that belief, I would be condemned to hell for eternity.

I want to believe that everything has changed, and that everything will be different for these kids.

But as their counselor and I visit with them and have "pretend court", and ask them the hard questions that will invariably be asked of my precious little loves.... so many tears.

So much heartbreak and fear and worry.  And what hurts me to the marrow of my bones is this is real live fear for them.  They worry daily (though rarely showing it) of the very thing that could happen.

So I covet prayer on this.  I pray for the juror's hearts.  I pray for the DA and kid's attorney and for wisdom and guidance.  I pray for the parents and their attorneys, that they truly take into consideration the best interest of the children in this case.

I pray for peace and words for me, when the time comes.  I pray my sarcasm stays deep in my soul where it belongs, and that I can only speak loving kindess, when all I really want to do is kick and scream at the injustice.

Watching these children cry their deepest fears to me tonight wrecked me. I can't promise them the perfect ending.  I simply don't know.  But I can promise them God will not fail them, and we have to stand firm in belief that whatever happens, He is there.

I pray for the miracle of forgiveness.  Because it will take healing and time to undo the pain and suffering all of this has caused.   It's just sad and miserable and awful.

I need no other adjectives.  I just need your prayers.