Dog People

I live with two chickens.

Nope, I'm not talking about Gram and Hal, I am talking about my two dogs, Arlie and Scooter.  People will find out I have dogs and always say to me, "You don't seem like a dog person."   What does that even mean?

When I hear "Dog Person" I immediately see this.

Or this.  

Just because I have to hang a sign in my house reminding me to hug my human children three times a day.... why would anyone think I wouldn't be a GREAT DOG person?

Well, because I'm not. 

I have two dogs.  Both by total accident.  Beyond my control.  Because I'm a sap.  

I acquired Arlie about 7 years or so ago.  I was working at the cemetery and this black odd looking dog wandered up, clearly had just had puppies, as her milk sacks were sagging to the ground, and she took up residency under our porch at the office.  I couldn't get her story, as she couldn't talk to me, but I watched her gather up little stuffed animals around the cemetery and gather them under the porch to "nuss" them, my heart broke.  Our cemetery grounds manager took a huge liking to her, and made her the "cemetery dog".  We all worked and worked on her name and bequeathed her with the name "Arlington Memory Gardens".. Arlie for short. We were a highly creative bunch.  She knows she's toast at home if I whip out her full name "ARLINGTON MEMORY".   She is DEATHLY terrified of loud noises and thunder and she lived at the cemetery about 4 months, until the weekend of Memorial Day, she had rode in the golf cart with  me, most of the weekend,  until we fired off the 21 gun salute, and she was PEACE OUT.  Couldn't find her at all.  Little did we know she had made friends in the cemetery.  We had a lot of people come out daily to visit their loved ones and Arlie found it her job to go and visit them every day.  So she was missed immediately, by a lady I'll just call her "Crazy Dog Lady"(CDL)..  She was dismayed we had lost our friend, and ran ads, and took to driving the streets trying to find our Arlie.  Imagine to our surprise and delight, when a nice young couple came driving up with our big ole chicken smiling in the backseat, telling us they had seen the CDL's signs and was returning Arlie.  Well, CDL, decided that Arlie needed a better environment than loping aimlessly through acres of peace and quiet having many people love on her daily, and found her a home....except for they were on vacation and couldn't take her until the following weekend.  Well, giving Arlie's penchant for opting out at any loud noise, I hesitantly offered to throw her in my backyard for the weekend.  She rode home with me with her head in my lap and those brown eyes looking into mine......and I had hoped to just sneak her out there without the children seeing her, but no luck.  5 year old Hallie and 15 year old Kip met her, and ...the rest...they say...is history.   She never left.  CDL had to find another rescue for her adoptive family and Arlie became a necessary staple in our home.  She was human.  You could talk to her and she would know exactly what you were saying.  She would walk with me (back when I walked every evening) without a leash and obey me with voice commands.  She would howl hysterically at you when asked, "Where's Kip?"  it was, and still is, a fun monotony breaker at parties.  "Where's Kip, Arlie"   Ohhhwwwwooohhhwwwww...she'll howl.  It's classic.   She would also, when being tossed a tennis ball in the backyard, lose control of her senses and run like a wild banshee in a circle 8 around you, kicking up grass and dust she'd go so fast.  I'm sitting here just smiling typing it, because she was such a knucklehead. I say was, because, as I have, she has aged too.  She still runs, but it's a slow lope around the yard, and only one lap, then she has to go straight to the back and pee. Sounds vaguely familiar.   She has a very small head on a Lab body, and the weirdest janky ears on a dog.  She also smiles.  She loves Kip, and tolerates Hallie.  Now that Kip is not here to show her love, Grammie has taken to coming over and spoiling them daily with dog treats in the afternoon.  "They need snacks".    Lacey declares that Arlie is the only dog she will ever like, (which is no stretch cause lacey is NOT an animal person), and will deign to throw her germaphobedness to the wind for about 4 1/2 minutes when she comes to see us, because Arlie just has "Those eyes".  You know what I'm talking about.  She is deathly afraid of storms, thunder and noise of any kind.  I don't let her in unless it's bad, because the crazy thing will either a) chew her leg off in nervousness, or b) dig a hole the size of a small vehicle at the back fence trying to tunnel out (to go WHERE? I don't know), so she is content to ride out the storm in the closet in my bedroom.  (usually with grammie when the weather gets that bad..."Move over Arlie, Grammie's coming in).  I'm living the dream, people.

Dog's eyes are creepy when you attempt to take pics.

I acquired Scooter when my precious uncle Leon died last March.  He stayed with mom for about a month, but she is the Queen of Clean, and having a dog just didn't ring with her household style, so Scooter came over to live with us and it's been an adventure.  Scooter had an auspicious beginning with my uncle.  Uncle Leon found him in a barditch, and given our penchant for choosing swell names for our dogs, he named the poor thing "barditch".  Thankfully, mom intervened, and scooter was born (given the fact that he will army crawl on his side just about everywhere at any given moment...scoot..get it).   He is a little Jack Russell mix, yellow and a friendly little chicken.  I could search the world OVER and not find two more chicken, submissive dogs.  The first week they were together, everytime one of them would walk by each other, they'd fall over on their sides in submission.  It was an embarrassing time for a dog owner.  Then Scooter decided to assert his manhood by humping everything in site, including the Godzilla size female in the yard  (Yes, he's been neutered, what was his problem?), and Arlie would yawn and look around as if to say, "What the crap?" and he could be found even going to town on Brad's hunting boots.  He was ridiculous.  At one point, my nephew Sam declared to me,  "Aunt Laura I think Scooter wants puppies".   Oh. for.the.love.  

Guarding the house.

Hal took this picture of Scooter, doing what he does best.  Chillaxing.

So, Yeah, I'm a dog person.  They're ok.  If they could only go to the toilet and flush their own poop, I'd be way more enthusiastic about the whole pet ownership thing.  It's like having elephants in the back yard.  Makes for a poop-licious yard.   

I like to think that someday I will own a cool dog.  Then I realize, just like everything else, I already do.  Two very cool dogs.  

It could happen.