Puerta Vallarta..... Jellyfish, lizards and that one drunk lady

It was AWESOME coming into port. 

 We stood on our balcony and watched the town get closer and closer.   

When I grow up, I'm going to buy this place and sit in that pool ALL day, and watch ships float by as they head into port.  Yes. I. Am.

We had prearranged an excursion to Yelapa and Malarkey, (I can't remember it's name, good grief) where there is told on the brochure to be a beautiful beach, a breathtaking waterfall and incredible snorkeling opportunities.   We are IN !!!!

Lacey being a "Tourist" in front of our SHIP (not BOAT, Molly)

 We herd like cattle off the ship and head to the dock, we board our catamaran (And it’s still 60 degrees at this time) and head out. 

 Freezing. 

Our one and only picture of a dolphin.  Fast little suckers. 

  Dolphins greet us, and that is cool, and our guide, David, is HILARIOUS.  He is from the island we are heading to (can only get there by boat),  but first, we are going to stop and snorkel.  I’m not big on snorkeling.  For one, you have to like, get in the water and paddle around.  Without drowning.  With a snorkel hanging in your mouth.  And flippers on your feet.  So I’m not a big snorkeler.  Now, Lacey, she is.  She buys the $5 snorkel and gets all prepared to go in, and David (the guide) mentions that where we are snorkeling, well, it is loaded in jellyfish.

Jellyfish.

Not the bad hurty kind, just the stingy kind.  He talks about a 3 year old taking a sting and not being a big wimp and thinks that story should be enough to keep the 40 year olds from being overly dramatic. 

Plus, we just STOP at some random, not so pretty, area.  And the people guiding us are all, "Here we are, everyone in".....

my very own "Scuba Steve"

 All this information slows my snorkeler partner down.  She is watching all the other people go in, and finally decides, “I can do it mom”….. so we get her all ready, looking like "Scuba Steve", and just as she is getting to the back of the catamaran to go in the water, about 12 people are getting out.  Moaning, and holding their arms.  There aren’t just a few jelly fish, come to find out, there are MILLIONS.  It’s like in Finding Nemo where Dory and Marlin are swimming through.  That’s our snorkeling area.   Lacey stays above water and takes a kayak out with a Stacey from New York. I'm eating cake, sitting on the boat.  It's a good day. 

I’m waiting for the beach. 

Now, we've been promised a BEAUTIFUL waterfall.  After the snorkeling with the jellyfish debacle, I figured they would have all KINDS of good stuff from there, but as we near the first drop site, where you can take a 45 minute hike up into the mountains, by picturesque villages and churches (cue Julie andrews music here), guide David once again hits us with "There's been a drought here, and the waterfall doesn't have much water at this time, but we will still take the hike up the mountain to see where it normally is."   Hmm.  I'm pretty sure a waterfall without water, looks kind of like ROCKS, so I've seen a TON of them in Oklahoma, so I'm going to just forego the "walk in the woods" and head to the BEACH.  SANDY beaches..... warm sun.....SANDY BEACHES. 

We finally get to the  SANDY beach and as our feet hit the ground, it becomes abundantly clear, rocks are the things this which this beach is made.  I'm trying to get my flipflops back on, and before we can even figure out how to sit down, two locals have thrown these GIANT lizard things on us, and demand us to take a picture. I think my horrified screams made them move away from me without asking if  I wanted to take a picture with that Satan's creature, but as I take one of my lovely daughter, this man throws the lizard in front of her as I snap the picture!  THEN DEMANDS $5.

   I’m like, SAY WHAT????????? And then I took another picture of that ugly ridiculous thing by itself, just for good measure.  AND HE WANTS ANOTHER $3.   That's highway..er..beach robbery if you ask me. 

 THEN,  that same man had the audacity to drop that spiked creature RIGHT NEXT TO MY CHAIR and left him there.  I told Lacey if it made one move toward me, I was going to walk on water getting back to the catamaran.

Waayyy too close to my chair (foot) for my comfort. 

Of course, then, I got in a conversation with the dude next to us, and we had a rousing conversation of all things funeral,  cremation, embalming and cemetery plots.  I think I should be able to write that excursion off on my taxes.  If I had had my computer, I think I could have pre-arranged them.  (I'm that good).  

The crew did a show for us on the way back to port... it was SO fun. 

Our crew was awesome, they were energetic, dancing as they gave everyone drinks and made it a special, fun day.  

Speaking of drinks, I have to talk about that one drunk lady.  You know there is ALWAYS one in the crowd.  We encountered ours on the beach, as she stumbled by asking for $14 to pay her bar tab because all she had was a credit card.   Then when she stumbled on to the catamaran, she fell into my arms (I’m so lucky) and proceeded to describe in detail what she would like to do to our young hot bartender.  (I’m still scarred by that encounter).  She made her way to the front of the boat, and I’m not kidding, everyone on that boat was watching her most of the way back.  She was one drunken chick.  I feared her falling over the front, I feared her falling asleep and falling over the front, I feared her doing something dastardly to the poor crew.  It was like watching a train wreck.  She managed to fall off her bench (I only saw her feet, I knew she went over), she passed out halfway back, then came alive like she hadn’t passed out and danced with the crew.  She also lost a shoe, which I was NOT going to stick around and help her find.   She will NEVER remember any of that  (How DID I get this bowl? (she bought one from a vendor at the beach) and WHERE ARE my shoes?  Wow.   But not of us will forget that show. (She was the talk of the ship, everywhere we went, the rest of the week....wow....she left quite an impression.....think about that next time you want to drink too much). 

Dinner was Italian.  YUM.  Best spaghetti....OH for the love of noodles.  It was AWESOME.

Took a group shot tonight of our dinner table…so much fun. Another guy from FDLIC, home office, has joined our table...Greg, and he is a HOOT.  We cause a scene every evening, and we like it that way.  

Our fun dinner companions, me, Greg, Lacey, Robyn & Robert

After dinner, took in our first show on board.  Motor City…Motown hits and fun dancing.  Cheesy is the best word to describe it, but it was upbeat and colorful and the older crowd loved it.  In fact, I heard a lady exclaim behind me, “Now, THAT was a show”…which Lacey and I chuckled to ourselves and Lacey murmured out of the side of her mouth to me, “Well, it wasn’t no Lion King”, and I almost fell out of my chair.  The second best part was the male dancers running into the audience, and one of them putting his sweaty paws on me, and the old lady on the other side of Lacey reached over, and was so excited, and said,  “did you get some perspiration? Now you have his DNA.”   What is up with the seniors these days??? There are 10 senior citizens to 1 regular aged person, wishin' I had brought my pre-need computer with me, I could have knocked door to door and drummed up some' bidness  :)

Keeping with our whole “In bed by 9” thing we have going…..We walked down the deck, got these beautiful shots and  settled in for the night.   

Good times, peeps.  Fun is being had.  I love laughing at my kid, and she has NOT let me down.   

CABO SAN LUCAS, next stop.....

Day 2 and 3 of Our Mexican Adventure- AT SEA

   

Sunday was mainly a blur of seasickness.  We attended a company function early in the morning, and Lacey won a Princess cruise Teddy Bear in the raffle. 

We meandered  (floundered) around the ship, trying to find the calmest area to combat our on-off seasickness.  We ate pizza and wandered around, and mainly slept all afternoon the first day, because we were so seasick.  First night was formal night and we dressed up,

 and shared our table with another Select Producer Robert Finley and his precious wife Robyn, and visited and ate duck breast and shrimp cocktail and a whole bunch of steak.  I don’t know if it was extra bumpy because we were hauling booty to make up time, but by the time Lacey & I ate our dessert, it was all we could do to make it back to the cabin, take some severe congestion Tylenol for our massive sick headaches, and call it a night.  At 7 pm.  We party hard.  The time changed constantly and I was forever changing my watch, and Lacey’s ipad wouldn’t change automatically, so in the middle of the night, on our sick-filled slumber, when I roused enough to ask Lacey what time it was, she said,  “My Ipad says 2, so it’s either 1 or 3.”   Day one at sea was complete.

Woke up Monday and it was a new day.  Our headaches had lessened, they should after sleeping like 24 hours the day before.  We ate breakfast, studied the Princess Patter (all the ship activities) and mapped out our day.   Frozen on the big screen above the swimming pool, had us for 2 hours first thing. 

 It was still pretty chilly with no sun, sowhile watching FROZEN, I became FROZEN as I bundled in towels and long sleeve shirt and watched the movie.  We have been careful to only use our bathroom facilities, due to Uncle Noro being on the ship, so we skipped back to the cabin after the movie (Lacey seriously has a micro-bladder, and mine is just so unreliable) and I opted to rest out of the cold.  Lacey slapped on her swimsuit and told me she was going to adult pool in the back of the ship.  I bid her good riddance, and proceeded to watch Say Anything on tv and take, yet, another nap.  She came back in about an hour and a half telling me how hot it was and she was so glad there was a breeze, and I’m like, “SAY WHAT?  HOT??” and slipping on my swimsuit and following her outside,  Mexican Nirvana.  FINALLY, some heat.  It’s snowing in Oklahoma and we have hit heat. 

 Sticking to the schedule my game playing daughter wanted to hit the “Scattegories” game on Promenade deck, so off we went.  Some british girl was leading the game, had NO idea how to play it, and teamed us all up in groups of 4-6 and READ the categories.  Our first letter was H, and she pronounced it “Haych”  not “Aych” the American way, but “Haych”.  After one game of “Haych”, we slipped out the back, and headed to the Lido deck for more fun and entertainment with fruit carving. 

 Then we slipped on down and watched the string quartet,

followed by horse racing (wooden horses on a twister board).  We are living the dream, people.  

It all is actually quite fun, and the food, well, the food is just the icing on the cake. 

 On the second night for dinner,  Lacey selected pineapples and prickly pears soaked in tequila.  (“I like fruit”)   After her sixth pineapple, she looked over at me, and said, “I can’t feel my tongue”.  Snockered on her fruit, that’s my girl.  The dessert was some rhubarb pastry heaven on earth with nectarine ice cream.  I can die happy now. 

 Our waitress at dinner loves Lacey and when we had our plate of steak and two carrots and a piece of asparagus, Lacey asked her if she could just have some vegetables.  The 2^nd night, the waitress told Lacey, “There isn’t much vegetable with this either, you want me bring you more?” Said in her Ukraine accent.  THEN, when Ms. High maintenance got her chocolate mousse heart brownie for dessert, and asked the waitress if there was anyway she could get a big ole spoon of peanut butter with it..and the waitress was like, “Peanut butter?” and my girl answered,  “YES! My grammie loves choc and peanut butter and that’s how I eat it”….in 2 minutes she had a bowl of peanut butter in front of her.  For.the.love.

Of course all these random items made for an intense gastric overload, and Lacey ended up most of the HOBBIT  (Movie under the stars for Tuesday) in “El BANO”, and as she came back for thefinal 30 minutes, and I asked her if Uncle Noro was visiting, and she replied back, “No, I had a tequila pineapples and a bowlful of peanut butter“, so When Bilbo looks at the dragon attacking that village and whispers to himself, “What have WE DONE?”  Lacey looked at the screen and said,  “Lost two hours of our life, that’s what we’ve done”.   And on that note, we headed to bed.

Puerta Vallarta tomorrow!!!!!

Ahoy Mateys! Day one of cruise

We got up way early to hurry to the airport.  5 am to be exact.  We got to the airport only to find that my bag weighed 55 pounds.  5 pounds over.  “I’ll just pay it”  “$125”….oh, hang on, we’ll put some in Lacey’s.  Instead of opening the whole suitcase, I just unzipped the top and ran my hand down inside to fish something out.  I came up with a tennis shoe and an empty water bottle.  2 oz.  Wheeee..   next I grabbed the Chi straightener and my computer cord.  10 oz.   “Oh, mom,” Lacey wailed, “Dig deeper!” I  bravely pulled my suitcase over and zipped it open and pulled out my Lifechurch hoodie.  Success!!!!  Who knew a hoodie weighed 3 pounds??   No one was mad in line because they were too busy laughing at us.  Great start.  

Waiting on plane and Lacey exclaimed to me, “Ooh, I hope no one coughs in the airplane, because it has no where to go, and it just gets in our pores”.   This coming from one of the worst germaphobe’s I know.  I laughed until I hurt.   WHO thinks of that??  I don’t even think that way at all. 

Ironically, we are about to be delayed 8 hours getting on our ship because it had an outbreak of Norovirus the prior week.  “Don’t become friends with ole Noro”, Tyler entreats as we bid him adieu.  

We were one of the first passengers to arrive in LA.  On the way, Lacey & I are plotting a trip to Disneyland, because we know we don’t get to board the ship until 7 pm and are arriving in LA at 8:30. 

The Princess cruise line lady freaks us out, warning us, if we miss our transfer, we are in a “boatload” of trouble.  We flush our Disneyland dreams down the toilet, and get on the shuttle to the hotel down the street, where we are to stay holed in a room for 8 hours.   The princess people have considerately left out pastries and a deck of cards.  ONE deck of cards.  Good thing I brought my own.

Lacey & I head out to Manhatten beach (a street shuttle takes us there) and forego the fun beach and boutique shops on the beach, in favor of Lacey getting to see her very first Container Store (on the 9^th stop on the shuttle).   She walks into, what I call an OCD person’s version of heaven, and straight sings a little happy song.  I’m walking around going “I don’t get it”, and she has found her happy spot on earth.  

We eat some pizza and browse around, and head back to the holding room with an hour to kill.   You had to be freakishly tall to stand in the bus, because Lacey had her arms straight up in the air and could barely hold on to the railing!

We beat each other in Las Vegas Rummy, and because of our early arrival, we are one of the first people to get to transfer to the boat. 

When I say boat, I have to tell you, I had no idea.  It is bigger than anything I have ever seen, and it’s just stunning.  They have been cleaning the ship from top to bottom, ridding any lingering norovirus germs from the 5000 people about to board.  One friend described the boarding process as “Herding cattle”, and that is about right.

What I do notice is the age group of the group of people in our shuttle bus to the ship.  I think if you added Lacey & my ages up together, that might be the average age of the octogenarians on that bus.  I’m thinking “This is going to be sooo fun”…envisioning line dancing with the small Asian man with a walker and his oxygen. 

But when we get to the ship, all ages appear, lots of kids and younger people.  AND WE GOT TO BOARD!  Walking up that ramp, feeling overwhelmed at the sheer magnitude of the size of this boat.  WOW.

And yep, herding sheep.  We boarded at the front of the boat, and our room is just about as far in the back as you can possibly walk.  5 room behind us, MAN OVERBOARD.  We are in the butt of the ship.  On the 12^th level (ALOHA!) with a balcony and twin beds, a shower for much smaller people than we are, but we have landed in our new HOME SWEET HOME for 7 days.

We find some food, a random smorgasbord of pasta and salad, a crab cake, some French fries and a roll.  I guess I was carb loading for sleep.  We head to our bunks almost delirious with exhaustion, have just settled down for a long winters nap, when the loud speaker comes on, and beckons us to Level 6, Club Fusion, with our life preservers and our room cards. We are NOT happy. We learn the ship emergency drills, and yawn our way through putting our life jackets on and off and manage to find our way back to our room.  I fall asleep in the process of Lacey filling out our form for fruit and breakfast in our room, and wake up in a full allergy meltdown, seems I’m sleeping with feathers.   After a quick exchange of pillows, and twenty seven Kleenexes later, we are sawing logs.

Wake up at 7:30 am to nothing but water.  The gentle lull of the boat is soothing to me, kind of urpy for my motion sickness girl, but we are armed in our sundresses (only looking for a high of 66 today, pretty disappointed in that), and heading to one of my only company functions this morning.  

Hoping it warms up so we can spend some quality time on this balcony!!!! And praying Lacey gets over her initial seasickness.  She's always been a motion sickness lightweight, and this is no different!

More tomorrow............BON VOYAGE!

Just a cruisin'

I have been dreaming about this next week for well over a year.  When I started at FDLIC last year (voted one of the 10 BEST companies to work for in Texas) (and as far as I'm concerned, one of the BEST companies to work for in OKLAHOMA too).... they had just announced the 2014 INCENTIVE trip.

A Cruise.

A 7 day cruise.

With stops in Cabo San Lucas, and Puerto Vallarta.

SEVEN, count them, SEVEN days.

I was going to win that no matter what it took.

And by golly, miss molly, I did.

I invited my Lacey along, because outside of our trip to Haiti (where she was all kinds of crazy sick), we really haven't gotten to travel together, alone, anywhere.

This was on my computer today.  4, four, 1..2..3..4 days I am flying on a plane to Los Angeles, getting on a very big boat, and hitting the seas with my firstborn.

I AM PUMPED.

No volleyball.  No work.  No vietnamese children.  No dog.  Just me, my eldest, and the wide open seas.

I AM PUMPED.

From what I understand, I can't make phone calls.  I did, of course, buy internet service, so I can keep up with everyone via email and facebook.  I will also be blogging about the whole cruise experience, since this is my VERY FIRST ONE EVER.   Yes, I am lame.

Crown Princess.  7 Days.  Lacey and me, and a new white hat. 

And some new flipper floppers.    Now all I need is a good pedicure.

Mainly what we are going to do is finish Laynie's book.  We are finally together, with no interruptions (except for swimming and laying in the sun, and massages, and excursions, and...and...and..) and we are finally going to put the finishing touches on this book.  I have needed Lacey's critical eye on this, and together we will get it done by the end of this week.

FINALLY.  I have to tell you, reading through those last few weeks of Laynie's life, has always been really hard on me.  I was in a supernaturally powerful place with God during that time, able to write what was happening and really sitting in God's pocket, taking comfort from His strength, watching Lacey be the strongest I have ever seen her.....it's going to be a journey for Lacey & I.. spiritually and physically.

I CAN not WAIT.

It's time to bring it completely full circle, and share her story with the world.

Now if I just don't fall overboard, it should be the perfect vacation.  

Bon voyage!!! and I will be blogging the whole time!!!!!    Let the adventure begin!!!