They have adapted to "normal" life and look all good on the outside.
People walking by them and casually talking to them would think they live pretty ordinary, common lives.
I blogged a few months ago about Oklahoma cutting benefits for children in foster care being able to see a counselor.
My kids had a counselor when they came to me, that worked with them for about a year. They voluntarily told me that they really didn't want to see her anymore, so we cut ties.
I thought we had ran the race.
Boy, what a laugh.
Kids don't become neglected, abused kids and just "grow out of it". I'm an idiot thinking that love would be enough.
Gina started acting out right after Christmas. Couldn't put my finger on it, and didn't understand it. Finally after a showdown, middle of February, I got her back in counseling. Steven followed right behind.
They see phenomenal counselors. I've seen immense growth in just the time they have been going to them. They are more open, better listeners.... I just can't explain it.
Last week, when the subject came up of "Good touches and bad touches".. Gina disclosed that she had been, indeed, touched before she came to live with me.
We had talked about it before and she was adamant that had never happened, so you have to forgive me for being just a tiny bit doubtful, and remembering how she identified as a boy when she first came to me, I just really had to wrap my head around it.
Then sweet little Steven, upon questioning him, broke down and sobbed his story out to me, that as a 5 year old, he was fondled by the same trusted adult ....I was and still AM one outraged, pissed mom.
Then yesterday, my friend, Jemma asked a question on facebook about the Target debacle, not really siding with anyone, but asking, from the heart, if people REALLY bought in to the belief that your child was going to get molested in a Target bathroom.
I've been really reserved in my opinion about the Target bathroom, even fighting the urge to report that I, indeed, had used the Target bathroom just last week, and nary a penis nor pedophile did I see. That took remarkable restraint for this sarcastic broad.
However, in the light of the recent developments at my house, I am putting my two cents worth out into the universe.
The furor over the bathrooms is idiocy. Sexual abuse against a child can happen anywhere. Sexual predators are going to do whatever they have to do to hurt a kid. We aren't "Opening a door to sexual abuse" to allow transgender people to use the bathroom they "Identify" in. That's just the dumbest thing I have ever heard.
Use the family restroom, people..... and show some love. LOVE. That's all I'm talking about. Use the family restroom (which you should do anyway, if you are traveling with packs of kids like I do) and be kind, and show love.
My children were abused by someone they trusted and he used that power to keep them quiet. I turned him in to his superior, and I was told "They would take it under advisement, that he was a respected part of their team".
Gee, That makes it ok then.
I'm telling you, sexual predators know what they are doing. They find a way. They groom, and prepare and you, as a parent, don't even see it happening.
I filed a police report this morning, because I believe that DHS is too overworked, too burdened with problems to think this is important. I reported that SOB to his superior in his protected work environment (I am DYING to tell you who he works for, but that isn't fair to the other people that work for this organization for the RIGHT reasons, and they don't need the bad press), and they pooh-poohed me off.
Gina just doesn't want him to be able to EVER hurt another kid. This has lit a fire in her soul that makes her want to help and encourage other people. This girl is going to do something miraculous with her life, just wait and see. And Steven just doesn't want to talk about it anymore. He is over it, and ready to move on.
I am so proud of them for their pure hearts. I am so proud of them for reaching into a really dark place and having the courage to tell someone.
Friends, for the LOVE of all that is HOLY and GOOD, talk to YOUR CHILDREN. Explain good touches and bad touches and that it is NEVER ok. NEVER EVER ok. NO ONE should ever touch them. And that it's OK and NECESSARY to tell an adult immediately if it happens. And it's not limited to touching. These people enjoy just exposing themself too. IT is NOT a fun conversation to have, but if it PROTECTS your KIDS, you DO IT
And DO NOT think your 2 or 3 year old is too young to talk about it. Steven was only 5 when it happened to him. It's never too early to talk to your precious kids about it.
Protect them, because trust me from someone that knows........What happened to my kids didn't happen in a Target bathroom, it was right under the parent's noses and NO one was the wiser.
Protect your kids. Educate them. Teachers, coaches, counselors, other parents, siblings, relatives, neighbors, church members..... no one has the right to touch them. EVER.
I'm sorry this turned into a RANT, But I am PISSED Off at such a broken world.
God. Help us All. Give us loving hearts and watchful eyes and ears. Help us where we are weak, and cover us with your mercy. In YOUR name we pray..... Amen.
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