A little too close to Home

I'm a big Grey's Anatomy fan.

I've watched that dumb show from Day 1, and cheered through everything,

except probably Mark Sloan's death.   I was ticked for a week.

But nothing prepared me for April & Jackson's baby story line.

Nothing.

When they realized at the ultrasound, something was wrong, and the reactions of the main people....well, it got real in a hurry for me.

But tonight, as April struggled to understand why the God she loves, and has worked her WHOLE life to do His will for her, would do this to her innocent baby......

Man, I struggled with her.

Then, when her husband, Jackson...a non-believer, goes to the chapel and prays to a God he has never believed in, and asks for God to just "Show up for her, just please show up for her".

Well People I was toast.

It might be that I'm still a bit kicked in the butt by this flu bug, or that I did get to see my precious little grandman's face this week (before the flu), so it just about killed my heart.

And I have to think that it killed thousands of others momma's hearts out there, that has struggled with that loss.  I found myself counseling April to "Don't induce!!!!!  Keep that baby!!!!  Your life will be forever changed for the better!!!!"

....................then I realized I was talking to a tv show.  So I got out my computer, and here's what I have to say about that.....

God does show up.  For whatever reason in America, I happened to pull up and read one of my past blogs on Monday, thought to myself,  "Dang that was good", and shared it again on my facebook.

My phone exploded.   I know it touched what I needed to hear that day, and I was overwhelmed with response over that blog, that came from my heart and soul, on that day I was hurting so bad from loss, I wasn't sure how I would breathe.

So I wrote.  I used to write and write and write....processing life, one blog at a time.

And then life overtook me, and I quit processing through writing, and it's been a bit.....meh.

I like to write.

And watching this show tonight, and thinking to myself,  I wish April and Jackson had Laynie's book to read (ok, I did), and then out of the blue, a publisher has been calling me again and again, over and over....(Yes, I would have to pay to get it published, but I still take it as a sign)....

I have to finish Laynie's book.   Flu, Satan, Kids, Life, Moms with Bad backs, Volleyball, Satan, NONE of that is going to keep me from finishing what I started. Thinking I can't do it, that I don't have what it takes to get it done, blah blah blah.   

Her story is amazing, and a miracle, and people all over need to hear it.

Because sometimes, things hit a little too close to home, and everything becomes crystal clear, and trust me, God does Show Up.

Big.

 Here's Proof.  Most flexible, beautiful baby in the world.  My grandson.