What has transpired this week, in me, in the kids, and overall, is just short of a God given miracle.
I'm just going to back up and start at the beginning of the week.
I was defeated.
I was tired.
Satan was having a field day.
I had a counselor appt with my Newbie #1 (8 yo male). I'm not going to lie. That appointment was all for me.
I'm a hammer. I've always been a hammer. I've raised children without a 2nd parent. No good cop, no bad cop. So I have all the roles to be. So the most effective parenting skill for me was being a hammer. It worked. I raised pretty awesome kids.
However, I find myself in a new season.
New kids, new triggers, new problems.
What I was doing wasn't working. At. All.
AND Satan was Clapping his hands in GLEE.
So, sitting in the doc's office. Defeated. Saying, "Help me fix this little mess kid. I'm just over my head and he's about to get kicked out of school, and he stays in trouble 23.5 hours of the 24 hr day".
He looked me square in the eyes, and said, "Have you focused on the .5 hour of the day, what he is doing right? Ever?"
B U S T E D
No, that's not how I parent. He asked me why I foster, and what is my goal? (then ironically, my son in law asked me the same thing yesterday, but I digress).... To help kids. I feel it is a calling. I feel God has brought me to this season for a reason, and I'm trying to be the face of God to these kids.
He re-wired my hard wired way of thinking into finding the positive in EVERY THING THEY DO. I'm not going to lie or say I'm perfect, but our house changed that first evening. (Yes, I carried the sheet of affirming statements around with me, so I could cheat, but whatever works, we are trying)
Satan isn't happy. Since things were changing at home, he followed newbie to school and kept him stirred up there. After a conversation with teacher, things are changing. Friday was for the most part, principal office free.
We focus on the positive. We give no energy to the negative. If you screw up, you do your time out, no energy from mom is given to that....it's not personal, it's business. "I care about your well-being, and setting the porch on fire, doesn't work in this house, so it's 5 minutes time out".
These kids have been so verbally, physically abused their whole life, my hammer didn't even phase them.
Love phases them.
We have been singing a song in church the last little bit, and it resonated with me, to my very soul.
God NEVER EVER leaves us. In our greatest and most trying times, HE IS THERE, asking us to trust HIM and love Him. TRUST. Trust TRUST.
We think that if we ask God for something, that we will get what we ask for exactly the way we ask.
God takes our pleas, the heart felt prayers that we fervently pray over our lives and finds a way to refine us, to work our hearts to HIS good.
That's where so many people get so off track. "If I ask God for it, He doesn't Listen!" Oh, friends.. He listens.
I've been praying for patience and God's love of people to flood me for years (since Laynie) and LOOK what He has done to give me the answer to my prayers! He gives me the most challenging and heart stretching trials.
I'm such a work in progress.
Lacey told me about a netflix show yesterday and I watched it this morning (since my body is already preparing me for the SPRING FORWARD debacle that happens next week) since I was awake at 5 am.
Spend the next 75 minutes watching this powerful, life changing video.Get on Netflix. Friends, God LONGS for you. There is nothing He won't do for you. You may have walked away from Him, but He is sitting there WAITING and LONGING for you.
Let Him find you. Take up your violin and play with your Father, who loves you beyond any reason.
There is nothing, NOTHING, that can keep God from Loving you.
Just open the door and let Him in.
Be free.
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