Fear Not

It always overwhelms me how God speaks to me through our pastor, Craig Groeschel.  It's like he has an ear to the ground on what is going on in my life, and preaches directly to me. 

For. Real.

Today, as soon as I read the message title, I knew I was in store for exactly what I needed to hear. 

"Fear of What God is Asking Me to Do"

hello.

To say I am not FREAKED OUT OF MY HEAD over the idea of adopting THREE more kids, is just an understatement of vast proportion.

I "Pro and Con" so much, I think my head is spinning like a top. 

The only peace I have had over the decision was just shortly after I made it, before the doubt, anxiety and the devil walked in and starting stomping around with my worries. 

"How am I ever going to afford another house?"

"How am I going to raise a 4 year old?"

"Do I realize that I am most likely never going to find a partner that will want anymore kids"

"How am I going to take on the responsibility of a special needs teenager?"

"What in the world was I thinking?"

"What if the biological dad finds us and shoots us all?"

These are things, I totally worry about.  Usually, instantaneously, and non stop. 

But here is the reality..... "God's purpose is often different than our plans".  Oh yes, it is. 

If you would have told me 4 years ago, that I would be having 3 kids (one special needs) LIVING with me, I would have laughed my face off at you.  Yet here I am. 

I have found a house in Norman that would be perfect.  I am too chicken to call about it.  I am using every excuse in the book.  "Debt ratio too high"   "Too much crap to move"    "Bigger house- bigger bills"   

Here's the deal......The OUTCOME IS God's responsibility and OBEDIENCE is mine.  I've obeyed him this far, and he has never let me down.   NEVER. 

Even today, as I posted on facebook about anyone having any basketball shoes for my lovelies....could they hand them on....and a friend walking up to me at church and pressing some money in my hand.   Watching LB's face LIGHT UP OFF his neck, when I rolled him into REAL basketball shoes.  He is sitting in the front room, just holding them, he is so jacked out of his mind. 

I have no words, for how faithful God is in my life.  This foster mom walk has been the most challenging and changing thing of my life, yet every time I throw a need up, every NEED IS MET. 

Just Trust and Obey. 

There's no other way.

Now to call that realtor, and quit worrying.  The outcome is God's responsibility,   being obedient to His call is mine.   FEAR NOT.