Being Still

 Lacey came in from the early service this morning to visit with the boys and she was a mess.  "You're going to need kleenex"  she threw out to me.  

Oh boy.  I love crying in public.

Said no one ever.  

It's veteran's day this week and the church put together a slide show of the members that had served in the military so when my Hallie's face showed up on the screen, the tears began.  

Then Craig Groeschel brought church to church.  

To say I have been heartbroken, heart shattered, scared, angry and devastated for our nation for the last few days is just a tiny tiny way to put it into words.  Just lost and out of control.  

SO TIRED OF IT.  I've had on repeat, "God is not surprised, God is not surprised".  Still anxious.  

I could go into what Craig's word spoke to my heart here, but I want to share something else......

When Laynie almost died the first time, when she was 18 months old, and her hemoglobin got down to a 1.8, which if any of you are in healthcare, you know that is NOT enough to sustain a life.  But God sustained her and every single day that I woke up, I prayed a prayer of thanks that we had her another day.  

Not one minute of any of those days, was I concerned who was President of the USA.  Not one day.  And looking back, I don't even remember who was president.  Because our days go on, in spite of who is president.  It was important, oh so important, that we lived every single day like it was our very very last.   Living so out of control, not knowing what was going to happen with our tiny little love, it could have been so out of control and all of us could have spiraled out and gone off the rails so very very easy... but you know why we didn't?? 

Because GOD sits on the throne, and when you focus your life and your comings and goings on him, little else matters.  

Now yes, I am super concerned over what is going to happen to our freedom, and our rights and what this country is going to look like for my grandchildren and my great grandchildren.  I'm sure there are 72 million people out there worried as I am.  

But a few days ago, God called on me to be still.  And to unplug, and to just be.  

Be.   Still.   

and know that I AM GOD.  

If I hadn't been in God's pocket during those last few months of  Laynie's life, I couldn't have made it.  

He's asking me to crawl back in.  And to invite you to crawl back in with me. Because the peace that passeth all understanding is in there.  The loving your neighbor is in there, and the joy that comes in the morning is in there.  

The enemy is the only triumphant boaster in all of this.  He is reveling in the division.  He lives and breathes in the divide.  

We Have To Stop.  

It can't matter more than God's grace.  Because if we let it, the only winner in all of this chaos is Satan.

So don't be sore losers.  Don't be gloating winners.  No one benefits from this.  Forget  right/left....black/white.....socialism/freedom....... no one wins.  

NO ONE HAS WON if we all destroy each other in the process.  I love my friends I have had my whole life.  And some of them don't even speak to me any more.  

There aren't words for the amount of concern I have over the state of our beloved country.    

But as much concern as I carry inside of me, I HAVE to,  I MUST let my trust in God be more than my concern of this situation.  

He is for us, He is with us, in our pain and in our happiness.  

Please listen to this song and let the words wash over your spirit.  We WILL NOT  live in a spirit of fear.  We  will live in a spirit of Hope.  Of expectancy.  Of goodness and grace.   HE IS FOR YOU.  

LISTEN TO THIS

Because God is Good......All the Time.  

When God Isn't Surprised

When I was a kid, I worried a lot about the "end of time".  Growing up in a different religion, there was a lot of emphasis put on "going to hell" if you didn't follow the straight and narrow of the rules.  

Then as I've gotten older,  I understood that it wasn't fear that should make me seek Jesus, it was love.  

This past year has been something that many of us have never seen in our lifetimes.  The unrest, the uncertainty...it's just been a lot.  

I could spend this entire blog railing against what I believe is fraud that will change the course of the voting system of this country forever,  that is going on RIGHT in front of our eyes, but instead I'm going to be what Jesus would want me to be and just speak some truth.

I've been trying to read through the bible this year, and I will admit, I have been super distracted.  I hit and miss, but this week, I gave  myself a sabbatical off of my most favorite social media app, because I was starting to act like someone I have not been in a long time, and picked up the bible instead.  

This day's reading landed me in Acts 16-18.  If you're not familiar with the bible, Paul is one of the biggest writers of the new testament.  His accountings of his journeys are comprised in many of the books in the NT.  Two things that stuck out in my head and made do a double take: (and I put these in Laura language, so show me some grace here)   Paul's about to go out on his second journey to spread the gospel of Jesus.  Now you have to know, he's not a super popular fellow with the Jewish (or any, if we are being honest) leaders.  In the first example, Paul is trying to speak and a slave girl that is demon possessed keeps interrupting him and he gets so tired of it, he calls on God to cast the demon out of her.  Well this doesn't make her the money making fortune telling machine she was, so they grab Paul and take him in front of the council and tell them that he is teaching things that are against "roman views".   They beat him and throw him in jail, where he spends the night singing worship songs. In the 10 cent comic store version, God makes the gates fly open and the guard gets saved. (you really should read it for yourself though because it's good stuff)   Paul continues on... and in the next city, the Jewish leaders become so enraged they (Acts 17:5) "Jewish leaders were jealous, they gathered some worthless fellows from the streets to form a mob and start a riot."   Now that sounds vaguely familiar.  

Here is the deal.  God isn't surprised by any of this.  NOT.  ONE.  BIT.   We want to be outraged and stomp our feet and scream for justice, but remember this, God is allowing this.  

I can't tell you how long and hard I prayed, crying and pleading with God to spare Laynie.  I begged for her life to be spared every day.  I didn't want her to die.  But God took her anyway, and it wasn't about her dying that was the story, it was how she lived.  And how she changed me, and in changing me, I shared her story and changed countless others.  

And now look at what a tiny baby that never spoke a word did.  She gave me insight and perspective to be able to help me get through what we are facing.  

Perspective is the most important thing we can keep in our tool belt right now.  You have to remember every single day that God is not surprised by any of this.  This country will be in more need of prayer and believers than ever before.  We are all going to have to put on the armor of Christ and live in it.  Oh my goodness, the weight of that armor!  It's all consuming.  But it is also, the most freeing way to live.  If you don't wrap yourself in the ways of the world, and keep your eyes on the prize of Jesus Christ, the armor becomes protection, instead of a weight.  And we all need to be wrapped in it, in the world that is coming.  

I don't feel like a worthy witness, but all I know is God wakes me up early and tells me these things.  He has me seek out people to call and text message to hear the truth.  He gives me words (when I truly don't think I have them) to encourage people and to speak truth into them.    

So go out and be a light.   There is so much division and unhappiness and bitter feelings.  I suffer them constantly.  I want to rail at the injustice.  But instead I'm going to seek truth and peace and try to help others find truth and peace.  

Put it in your hearts,  God isn't surprised by any of this.