When It's Not what You want To Hear

Alison went for her pre-surgery MRI this past week, and was handed some very discouraging news.

Doctors found spots in both breasts, and now they want to do biopsies next week to see what is going on.  Alison had a horrible experience with the initial biopsy, so this was very distressing news to her.  The doctor assured her that her team in San Fran, are all very talented and that it shouldn't be that traumatic this time.

 If they are benign, or they are found to be early stage, then they will proceed with the surgery.  If it's more aggressive (due to her CHK-2 gene and HER2 path) they will start with chemo.

All of this is very distressing.  We were all believing that when she had her MRI, she would be miraculously healed.

It's very hard for me, as a Christian, to understand what is happening.  I believe in God, I believe in miracles, I trust Him with all my heart and soul.

Yet, He allows this to happen to my cousin, who is probably one of the closest things to a saint, this earth has to offer.

I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

When trials like this happen, the urge to start the Blame Game really kicks in.  The Devil gets in there and causes the doubt and worry and tries to magnify it to an impossible level.

The bible clearly reads,

It is so hard to hand God your worries.  Almost impossible.  I was distracted yesterday, and left my wallet laying somewhere at a race with over 500 people there.  Didn't realize I had left it until well over an hour later, and 45 miles away.  As I raced back to the course, my heart in my throat, crying and praying "Oh Lord, please let someone turn it in", I felt a peace, but still that nagging, "What am I going to do...my whole financial world is in that wallet?" feelings kept creeping in.   As I ran to the volunteer tent, praying against the odds, I wept in relief when the volunteer handed me my wallet, CASH HANGING OUT OF THE EDGE, everything in it, nothing taken.  My kids exclaimed to me, "Oh, Lolly, God takes such good care of you.  We knew you would find it".   

I'm not gonna lie, here.  I want that same certainty that Alison is going to be 100% healed.  And it is given, in large, by having Faith.  

Faith is believing.  

I ask all of you to continue to believe and pray without ceasing for my Alison.  Everytime you close your eyes to throw up a prayer, include her name.  

I'm a big risk taking, bet the farm kind of believer.  I want you all to be one too.  God never fails to come through for me.  

I'm praying this for Alison.