Talking to a wall

This was a tough, tough day.

Today was the day that all parties involved in this foster case sat down with the biological parents and let them know that their rights were going to be terminated.

Can you even imagine?

You look at your kids, and even though they drive you to the point of insanity at least one time during each and every day, you can never imagine them being anywhere except with you.  (and the days they drive you to drink at least 6 times, you wish they were on a slow boat to somewhere...just sayin)..

But today, these parents had to come to terms with the fact that they will never change, and their denial and unwillingness to see the problem, well...it cost them their babies.

Or it will...once they drag all of us through court and spend resources of the state to tell them they will never get their kids back.

Back in November 2012, back when all this transpired, I felt empathy for the mom.  I viewed her as a victim of domestic abuse, and a backwards culture.  Today as I watched her transform from screaming maniac to sobbing victim, to angry outraged citizen, to screaming maniac, I felt any compassion flee.

These children will never be safe in this house.  If these parents act like this in front of people that are trying to help them build a plan, how do they treat them when they are alone with them?

I leaned over to the kid's attorney as DHS was "trying to do the right thing" and demand that the 3 year old continue visits with mom.  I have already blown a gasket that he has to continue seeing her because it's just a crap shoot when it's happening and a volcano blowout of disaster the days following it.  Anyway, I leaned over to the attorney and I said,  "DHS wants to make the poor 3 year old, who has NO VOICE, continue visits with THIS????"  He looked me square in the face, shook his head, stood to his feet and bellowed, "ENOUGH.  I am through listening to 4 years of this couple's excuses.  I am through.  If DHS continues to force visits on the 3 year old, you are continuing the cycle of abuse, and I will fight tooth and nail at court to get it stopped.  Enough is enough".  and he stomped out.

Well, I almost stood up and clapped.  That set dad off into another PLANET.  Then he attacked me, and blamed the whole situation of his kids not wanting to see him on me.  Said I had influenced them to not love him, I wouldn't let them communicate with their parents, and they had been influenced by me.

I wanted to stand up and shout, "ENOUGH".  But instead, I looked him square in the kisser and looked at the other 12 people in the room and said,  "I am leaving.  I fear to leave the same time as them, because I do NOT want him following me home.  You hold them here at least 20 minutes and let me get out of the area."  and with that, I left.

Bottom line.  Visits are over.  Kids are no longer forced to see parents.  On court, the kids attorney will push forward with termination.  The parents are never going to willingly agree, so we are looking at a long court battle, in which the kids will have to testify.

It's a nightmare.  I just got in my car and bawled my way out of the parking lot.  How lives get so messed up and out of control, how innocent lives are trampled, how out of control I feel in all of this.

The only guiding voice is the one from on high, who says to me,  "Peace, be still."  And that is enough.