God's Blessings never End

 This year has been pretty overwhelming to say the least.  Sometimes, I forget how incredibly in the pocket of the Lord we were all during Laynie's years.  Supported, blessed, redeemed, right in the pocket.

And then the world steps in and shakes you out of that pocket.  Turns you upside down and sideways and makes you question, "How did I ever stay in that pocket...with...this..that..or the other..going on around me?"

When Laynie was alive, the blessings piled on top of each other.  We couldn't even see the world, for the blessings.  Ya'll remember.  It was surreal, and amazing and an anointed time.  

Then she passed away, and the blessings got a little dimmer, because the world stepped back in.  Until the kids came, and then once again, the blessings overran and consumed us all.

The kids, Lacey met Tyler, Kip met Brandon, Hallie thrived in the army, the kids blessed at every turn, moving to the ranch, then attending OCS, and even moving to Shawnee, getting into Dale. Blessings, blessings, and more blessings.

However, when you are being so blessed, the enemy is always one step behind to try and derail all the things.   He has succeeded in one area of our lives, and I'm not going to talk about it on here, because it's personal and painful and I'm still working through all that.  I usually work through it best by writing, but it's not my story to tell and I will leave it at that.  

But in things I can talk about, Kip and Brandon will be the first to tell you that Dawson was a brilliant surprise.  God blessed them big with him, getting ready to start fertility treatments, and spontaneously ended up PG before they even started.   They went through a long year full of fertility treatments in 2022, to no avail, because they both had siblings and they really wanted Dawson to be able to have one as well.  He has cousins that are close as siblings and baby cousins that are brothers and his greatest wish, was to be a "Brudder".  So after a very hard 2022, full of month after month of disappointing news, they made the decision that they would just be grateful and thankful for Dawson, and Kip sold all her baby stuff and they started to make plans for her to go back to work when Dawson started school this fall, and allllll the traveling they could do with just one kid and got real ok with that.  

So fast forward to April of this year, and I am heading to Dawson's 5th birthday party, and have just pulled up in the driveway, when I get there Kip and Dawson are already standing outside, jumping up and down.  Now, I love this kind of greeting, this is totally my thing.  I have barely hugged Dawson and caught my breath when Kip throws out, "Mom, I totally tested positive".   Now, in the jet lagged, hangry, butt tired exhausted state that I landed in their home in, my brain only registers, "Positive".  Instead of the delighted cry she expected, I yelled at her, "WITH COVID?" and she starts rolling on the ground laughing.  Now, I am mad, because I don't want to get Covid and sit in a room by myself, so I don't think it's funny at all.   She leads me to her bathroom, where she shows me, not one, not two but an entire box of pregnancy tests that she has taken, and they are all gleaming POSITIVE at us.  I just sit there with my hand over my mouth, because WE HAVE PLANS THAT DON'T INCLUDE A BABY at this juncture, and I start to tear up and laugh with her.   

God.  Is.  Good.  

And has quite the sense of humor.  

Ok, now I have information I am unable to share until the beginning of July.  Everyone knows how that works out for me.  I am so very very happy to share on this site, that come the end of November, beginning of December, grandbaby #5 is heading to Redding.  

Kip didn't really want to share too much too soon, but after twisting her arm off her body, she decided to tell Dawson at his party (and everyone else) with a BIG BROTHER shirt and watching everyone's shocked reactions, it rated up there as one of my top 5 days of my life.  

There was screaming and tears and laughter and congratulations and so much joy.  

And now the last few months have been so precious with these little gems heading my way every few weeks.  

And then on Monday, the critical anatomy scan showing everything was perfecto and all a-ok.....

Proud big brother.  

This time of the year is tough for me, I love the 4th of July but it carries bittersweet memories of our Laynie's last few days of life, 13 years ago.  

13.  years.  ago.  

That last week of her life was one of the hardest things our family has ever been through.  And this year, even with the joy of the new baby looming, I felt the loss all through me.  I wasn't "choosing joy" at all.  

If everyone remembers the story, after Lacey found out about Laynie's condition, I was burying myself in scripture trying to find comfort, and Psalm 139 jumped out at me.  I called Lacey and read it to her, and we found so much peace in those words.  Over and over, we repeated that scripture to ourselves throughout her miraculous life.

So, this July 4th, as I drove over to Norman, to go get the gram, for a day of fun and sun, I was "faking it til I made it", feeling melancholy and off.  Couldn't see or find any joy to be had.  Truly wasn't choosing it at all.  

Mom sensed it, and we talked about Laynie a little and then she picked up her daily devotional calendar and just handed it to me, and said, "Look at this".

Yeah,  Look at this.  

It should have said   Dear Lolly,      Love, God   

Well slap my face and call me Shirley.  Blessings from our tiniest gift, once again.  And it woke me up and snapped me out of it, and today as I recalled this with a friend at work that is in the fight of her life with cancer.... God knew our plan before we were ever in existence.   God knew the number of hairs on our head.  God knows our ways, our lives.  He gives and takes away.  He is faithful.  He is constant.  He is never ending.  He is always there.  Even when you can't see Him, He is there.  All you have to do is look around and look up and remember.....

                        oh my goodness gracious.............. He  Is  Good.    All the Time.