Holy marshmallows.
As I sat stacked on top of people at the 10:00 service in Shawnee Life.Church today... I was reminded of two things.
1- Go to a later service, where I have leg and elbow room (PACKED, Praise to the LORD) and
2- Holy america, I love my church.
Pastor Craig is unpacking why bad things happen. And Where is GOD?
I got picked for Jury Duty this week. In fact, I carried that bad boy of paperwork in my purse over a week before I finally opened it. Didn't know what it was but it said "IMPORTANT" on it, so at least I didn't throw it away. I used all my arsenal "Single Mom" "Commission only" "Slowest time of the year" "Slightly cray cray" ...... to no avail. I guess those lawyers liked the way I fidgeted in my chair. I mean really.
So I'm in day 5 (tomorrow) of jury duty. Told that it could go another week or so. "Should be DONE by Christmas".
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So I'm mega stressed. Finances are always ridiculously stretched to the max during this season, so I have really learned to hand it on over to God and not worry about it.
That takes practice. And today, when Craig was talking about bad stuff happening and how it feels like God doesn't show up, I got it.
There are massive events going on all around us. Shootings in California, bombings in Paris, friends dying.... it's a non-stop whirlwind of sadness.
A few years ago, I would have been unhinged by all the stress. Un-FREAKING-hinged. But a tiny bald baby came to live with us and taught us about FAITH and TRUST, and rocked our world hard.
In fact, as I discussed how LUCKY I felt being picked for jury duty, I told Lacey "Wonder what God has planned for me through this????", because I honestly believe that random things happen for a reason. And we can be TESTED or we can TRUST.
I just get worn out hearing people say "Where was GOD in that??" when something bad happens, and as I've said before, God ain't no Good Ship Lollipop, He ain't yo sugarmama, He ain't the Good man Upstairs, yo.
He is our comforter, our Savior, our redeemer, our Salvation. When you are in a storm, just hang on because you are going to be REFINED to His purpose.
I know so many of you that are reading this are hurting about something. Financial worries, family issues, job security, kids are losing their minds, elderly parents about to make us flip our crap, (not mine, BTW) just Problem after Problem upon Problem. WHERE IS GOD? I pray and pray and pray (I hear that a lot).
Here's what I know to be true. The more faith you HAVE, and the more you pray, the better you will Feel. AND when YOU QUIT focusing on YOU, and turn your heart and energies to something OUTSIDE OF YOUR problems....your focus will shift, and your problems will seem smaller. You MUST trust me on this. Trust this grandma with a 6 year old kid. WHEN YOU quit focusing on yourself......and pray your way through it....the load will lighten.
And Hallie reminded me, as I prayed for Brandon to pass his test last week, that you MUST end a prayer with an Amen. or you haven't hit "Send". I was like, "WHAT?" and she told me, "Really, you must say AMEN". So I have been very intentional and been hitting "SEND" at the end of my prayers and I must say, it does make a difference.
Except for that whole jury duty thing.
God's got it. You don't have to understand it right now, but just stay in the boat, and you will get through it.
Because God is Good, all the time.
