What is wrong with me?

I have the best intentions.  And at church, Craig was talking about how TIME seems to be everyone's biggest enemy.   "I can't go to church, I don't have time"... "I can't go to my kids stuff, there isn't time".... "I can't read my bible, I just ran out of time".....  Time, time, time. 

Holy cow.

Several things happened since I wrote last.  Kip left for her 11 month, 11 country mission trip.  She is in Mindenao, Phillipines as I type.  She will be there until October 17, then she will be going to another country that I can't even type the name on any social media, as it could jeopordize their safety.  Doesn't that just make you feel warm and fuzzy?   Me, either.

It was all I could do to let her go the morning she left.  It was the ugly cry from all the people left behind.  On the way home from the airport, as Lacey and Hallie both took turns crying, I looked at them and said,  "For the love of Pete,  you still have each other".... to which Lacey thought a minute, and said to her baby sister... "You must learn a TON of movie quotes quickly, and learn how to know what I'm saying without me finishing my sentences"..... to which Hallie sniffed and replied,  "Write it in my training manual.".    Oh my girls. 

Kip (kind of in the middle with the red packs and rolled up jeans) at the airport in Atlanta.

Loading the bus from airport. Didn't realize Kip had taken up guitar.  She and Hal can start a band.

The one thing about Kip, she can SLEEP ANYWHERE, anyhow.  Standing up in a corner, sitting straight up, if she is sleepy...the girl is asleep.  

Her first morning in Manila, we caught her on Skype, and took a ton of pics of her.  She is so beautiful.

I spoke for Lacey at the Epworth Methodist Church's monthly ladies meeting in Chickasha, on September 6.  145 ladies were present, and WOW, was that fun.  The lady that arranges the speakers to talk, had seen our story in the newspaper, when Laynie was in the dance off this past spring, and all the press was happening, and she contacted Lacey and said, "I want you at our first meeting this fall".   As luck would have it, Lacey's big class in graduate school happens the same night as the dinner, so I got to fill in.   And I am SOO happy I did.   I have been going to lifegroups telling her story, so I was really practiced up.  I have it down to a 40 minute art.  I added a powerpoint of pictures with it for this talk, and it was a good thing I practiced the afternoon before I went, because I just bawled like a baby telling it.  It's been one year and a half, and I still get choked up talking about the wonder and magic that was Laynie.  I think half of the ladies came up after the talk and wanted a hug.  It was an honor to hug them.  It was an honor to share her.  I have found, seriously, truly found, what I'm supposed to do.  I feel totally comfortable sharing her story, and I can see it change and inspire people.  That's what life is all about. 

Hallie turned 13, and Lacey, Gram and I had a bday party for her in Gram's backyard, consisting of 17 12-13 year olds. (boys and girls).   It was madness, chaos, and fun.  Lacey organized "Minute to win it" games and the kids played those, they played with a volleyball, played a little spontaneous "Duck, Duck, Goose", and wrapped the evening up with Hallie serenading them with her guitar.   It was a dang good 13 year old party, if I say so myself.  Lacey likes toddlers better, but give me mouthy pre-teens anyday. 

So, yes, I have been BUSY, but it's still no excuse to keep this site updated.  So many wonderful things going on every day.  God is blessing my family, and testing us all at the same time.  Be in prayer for all of us, as we all face a new year.  Kip, in her travels.... Hallie, in her 13 year old world of temptation and angst.... Lacey, in her job and work.... and me, as I seek God's will for my life, and His plan for me. 

I will do better.  I have a bunch of people I need to comment on their comments... and it is coming  (as soon as I find that sheet....yes, I cleaned my office and it's awesome and I can't find squat diddly).

It's hard on Hallie's bday, because it's 9-11, and we always feel the pull of the loss of 2001, but on September 12, 1994 we lost an even bigger part of our lives, my precious daddy.  This is always a hard time of year for me anyway... (I always say God gave us Hallie in September, to give us something joyful to celebrate), and this year was no exception.   I am honored to live in this country.   I am humbled that I am able to travel and share Laynie's story, and tell of God's love and His personal touch on our lives.  Tomorrow may be uncertain, but I know where I am going, and I know how many people I am going to share God's love with before I get there, so it's all downhill from here. 

God is good, all the time. 

What is your Dot??

It has been a while since I have written.  I have thought of you often, usually as I'm running in the house to change clothes, and to run right back out to go do whatever that evening is assigned.  It's chaos, It's madness, It's my life as I know it. 

  

Life is moving very quickly now. 

Faster than ever.

I am leading a lifegroup at church.  I have an incredible bunch of singles in my group, and they challenge me to be a leader.  There are a couple that have been believers awhile, but for the most part, all pretty new to this "God" thing.   It's ok, so am I.  Last night we made a pact, "Whatever happens at lifegroup, stays at lifegroup"... so in keeping with that, I am going to share only what I spoke to them about....

Last night, we talked about relationships.  I shared with them that though I had been in church all my life, I had no idea what a relationship with God looked like until I started at Lifechurch.   I asked them to imagine meeting someone so special, and wanting to get to know them.  You both immediately start texting, and calling, and asking a zillion questions, and sending stalker emails 12 times a day  (Ok, maybe I just revealed why I am single).  

You may ask why I have a picture of Edward and Bella here, in my defense, I am a "Twerd" and I happen to LOVE their relationship... (plus it was all Google images gave me when I typed in "GOOGOO eyes in Love")    BUT BACK TO MY POINT..when you start a relationship with someone, You SEEK the other person out. 

People will wonder why God isn't real to them.  Why God doesn't answer their prayers or seem to care about them.  It's because they don't have a real relationship with him!   What if Bella would have only talked to Edward one hour a day on Sundays???  How long would that have lasted??  (Ok, maybe I shouldn't be using vampires as an example here)

BUT, God needs more than 1 hour in church from you.  He needs you to seek Him, and read His love letter to you (The Bible), and spend time talking to you (Prayer), and sharing Him with your friends (like you would any new guy....you tell EVERYONE how great he is....even total strangers who could care less).....WHY would you think that GOD wouldn't want that from you?  And even more so, WHY wouldn't you WANT to KNOW him.  I mean really understand and KNOW him.  That takes time, commitment, effort. 

Hallie wants to play volleyball.  She has the build and amazingly, the coordination for it, but she doesn't KNOW how to play.  She went one time... ('I'm so bad"),  two times  ("I'm even worse today")... three times  ("I need to give up"), and then the fourth, fifth, sixth time, and today, after applying herself to volleyball for three solid weeks, she got in the car, and she said  "I didn't suck today".   WOOHOO!  "The coach spent time with me one on one, and I learned some things".    What if she gave up after the second time?  What if she didn't stay with it, and watch volleyball at OU, and talk volleyball with her sisters, and practice in the backyard for hours.... she would NEVER get the college scholarship I am holding my breath for.   DO YOU see what I am trying to say?? 

YOU MUST SEEK HIM.  He is the ONLY relationship in the WORLD that matters.   If you aren't finding contentment anywhere you turn in your life...your job stinks, your boyfriend's a jerk, your friend betrayed you, you have no money, you have no time, your kids are rebellious, your marriage is in shambles......   It consumes your every second, worrying about that. 

Imagine this picture is your big bad worry.  The dot in the corner is God.  All the white space surrounding that dot, are all your worries and problems, everyday, just taking up all your time and energy.  You push God down into a corner, and take all that worry on yourself.   Admit it, you do.   I know I am guilty, or I was.... until I heard at a ladies conference, to just imagine the freedom (if you dare to let go of the control) to let God be such a STAPLE in your life, and you are so focused on HIM, and HIS plan for your life, and HIS direction for YOU, that HE becomes the beautiful white space, and that worry becomes the dot.   It's freeing, It's lifechanging.   And it's VERY VERY real.  Trust me on this one. 

People will ask me,  "How do I find the happiness you have?"   And I will I tell them... I changed my dot priority.  God's not the dot anymore.   God is my constant companion, friend and mentor.  He walks with me wherever I go, he talks with me when I think I'm alone, He is there everytime I falter.   And He's there for you too,   all you have to do is turn around and ask Him in.  Trust me, ALL the same worries are there.  EVEN more than I can take in a given day, but I changed my dot priority.  The problems don't consume me anymore, cause God can handle them far better than I.    Give God a chance to be more than a dot in your life.   Let HIM be YOUR life.   You will have riches more than silver...  He will love you with a love that is beyond words, and BLESS you more than I can tell you.  Happiness is that close for anyone.  You won't find it in wordly things,   You'll only find it in Him.  I know.  Because I did.   Just swap the dots.  What do you have to lose?

A bipolar kind of day

I woke up in such a great mood today.   Mainly because it was Thursday. 

Then before I stepped in the shower, I stepped on the bathroom scale.  Big mistake.

Now I know most of you are going "OH MY GOSH, SHE IS SO SKINNY".  And that is true.  To a point.  I am the most out of shape, undertoned, used to be skinny person on the planet.  And I don't care.  Ok, that's a lie.  I care.  Kind of. 

Well, I decide to start my diet.  Which means, no sweet tea.  Can't have sugar.  No way, no how.  So instead of my luscious RT 44 sweet tea I normally get, I order a regular tea from Sonic.

It was muy grosso.  Even with three, count them 3, pink packets of fake sugar.  Blek Blek Blek.  So now my day is going downhill.  No DDP, No sweet tea, tastes like armpit in a cup.   I'm on a roll. 

Now I'm at work.  On time.  With no good drink to make my morning go by and be a bright day.  BUT, God sends rain, so that sends me on a happy raincloud kind of dance, and all the weight, no sugar, trouble is lost in a rainy, wonderful, cool splatter of water all over the ground.  

So I'm happy .... well,  a while.  It's time for lunch, and I immediately plunge again.  Drinking water, and nipping on food that works well on a diet.   Food I don't enjoy.   Food that makes me cranky.   Diet food.  Food for rabbits.   Food for things that need to be on diets.  In other words, stuff I don't eat. 

And it's dad gummed time to eat.  My dinner bell is ringing, and I have rabbit food and water. 

Lacey will tell you that she would diet, except she'd have to give up her chips.  I'm thinking my daughter is really really smart. 

About the time I'm about to sink to my lowest low of the day and can't get any lower, I am presented with the cutest KIT (ok, it's not cute) of picture frame samples that I can carry  (Think of the old Stanley Man that carried the big suitcase).   That is now going to be me.  I have samples for to sell.  I am almost in business at the business I have been conducting business at for 3 months. 

Yes, this ridiculous looking suitcase thrilled me to the point of almost euphoria. 

That lasted about an hour, and then a customer called in, unhappy, and yelled at me.  It wasn't even about me  (this time), and He straight YELLED at me.  On the phone.  In a LOUD, unpleasant voice.   Was that really necessary??

But, due to the rain, our driver didn't get to make deliveries today, and I got to leave the workplace and drive  to Pauls Valley and see a customer. This may not sound fun to many of you, but to me this is HUGE.  This is CHINA big for me.  I am a traveler.  Immediately felt the relief of "Traveling salesman". 

Off I go, and I get home at exactly 5:00.  And here I am at 5:50, sharing my bipolar day with you.  While I drove, I thought about Hallie and her happiness of playing volleyball,  Kip leaving in 3 weeks, Makayla (my step granddaughter) turning 12 tomorrow, Lacey's delight in raising almost $14,000 for Children's Miracle Network this past weekend,  Brad's bday yesterday, and realized how wonderful life is.  Even in the midst of my bipolar mood swingin' roller coaster kind of days.... God has the wheel, and all I have to do, is stay in the boat.   I can do that.   Just stay in the boat.  and keep paddlin' like crazy.

Sarah Libby Hosts 'Dancing For A Miracle' - Video - KOCO Oklahoma City

Sarah Libby Hosts 'Dancing For A Miracle' - Video - KOCO Oklahoma City


Watch our Lacey at about 26 seconds in!   BEAUTIFUL!   Woohoo.....  Lacey brought it $13,000!!!

Total for the show was over $135,000 !!!!

I am so proud for them, and what a terrific number for all the people's hard work!

CONGRATS CHILDREN'S MIRACLE NETWORK/CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL FOUNDATION!

Dancing for an Angel

Last night Lacey not only received one standing ovation, she received two.  Maybe three, I didn't see the last part of the show.

Our friend, Abby Webster, took a picture of her computer during the live stream and posted this on Laynie's wall !  We have some terrific friends. 

This colorful group was terrific ...  kudos to everyone that danced!

A bunch of our friends and family gathered together to celebrate our Lacey and Laynie, at the Children's Miracle Network, Dancing for a Miracle gala.  Lacey represented "Miracle Families" in the event, and I may be somewhat prejudiced, but she was just an angel herself. 

I was honored to be a part of the Committee that put it together this year, and I have to tell you.  I will never EVER walk into another event and take for granted all the work that goes on behind the scenes.  Not one detail was left to chance.  The only thing not thought of, in this beautifully orchestrated extravaganza, was the 110 degree heat.  Whereas, normally, the 500 guests browse in the hallways, drinks in hand, shopping all 150 silent auction items (WHICH WERE ALL JUST FABULOUS), started getting cramped and cranky, so the beautiful ballroom doors were opened and the sweaty, sold out, crowd was swept into a beautifully decorated dancing fairyland.   It was extraordinary.  I'm happy that I had got to witness Lacey's video and dance earlier in the day at the run-through, so I could get all my crying and snot flying out of the way.  The girl was amazing.  And her professional partner, Brock Geeslin, was just an everloving doll.  

We all watch and appreciate Dancing With the Stars, and see the polished dances on the tv show, and think to ourselves, "We could soooo do that"... when in reality, Lacey is a pretty amazing dancer, and she felt she wasn't really the "Natural" that we thought she could be.   Now don't get me wrong, she was FANTASTIC, but she had many weeks of nerves getting to the point she was last night.  She was breathtaking. 

We had so many friends there, and it was just a full out fun fest for this event-loving grandma.  At our table we had our friends John and Ashley Willeford and his co-worker and wife;

 Kellie and Austin Greenhaw, lifegroup friends of Brad and Lacey; 

Grammie, Kip

and the birds, and honorary "AUNTS",  Cathy Stephens and Janis Young. 

The table next to us was our friends from Dignity Memorial (the company Brad works for, and the company I worked for for years), and we had a LOT of love at that table.    Becky and Cliff Pope; Jeremy Sparks; Free and Eric Jordan; Stephanie Grimes, and Scott & Lori Werkmeister.   They had WAY fun, enjoying our dancer friend that celebrated EVERY single dance from the side of the dance floor, with his own version of moves.  I really believe they missed more the of the "real dancing", totally diggin on his interpretations.  It was classic.

Beautiful girls.... Becky Pope, Stephanie Grimes, and Free Jordan.  (Stephanie and Free were Laynie's funeral directors and they were magnificant)  Love all three of those girls...

For funeral directors, these guys had a ton of fun.  :)

Our dear friends, Scott and Jemma Stemmons were there,

and they literally got ring side seats.  Jemma told me after, had she known she was going to have such a marvelous seat she would have brought her "good" camera, but I think she got some BEAUTIFUL shots during the actual dance, that none of us were close enough to get.  So it worked out just great.

Of course, miracle families, Malena Trulson and her precious girls and hubs were there,

Lacey busting a move with Sydney, who DID NOT want to leave the dance floor!

and Vanessa and Jason Hart.   Last year Vanessa shared her son Brock's story with the group and Brock enchanted all the guests with his quick smile and good nature (not to mention his jaunty hat).

Brock was Laynie's boyfriend, so he holds a very special place in our families heart. 

 Lacey had shared two years before with Laynie present, and we have nothing but fabulous memories of this memorable event.    She even got to meet former first lady Cathy Keating, and soon to be governor Mary Fallin!

After sharing a delicious meal that started with this beautiful salad...

we were OFF to the dances. 

Lacey and Brock were the 2nd couple to dance, and I can promise there wasn't a dry eye in the room.  They had video blurbs before each dance, and Lacey got to share why she was dancing.  Then, she delivered a beautiful, heartfelt dance for her angel, and Brock was a divine partner.  At the end of her dance, everyone was on their feet and cheering....  it was one of those "moments".  Never felt prouder of this daughter, that never misses a beat under pressure.  It was just magic. 

You can see sweet lil Laynie's picture in the left corner of the picture... So precious.

Scott Hines (from KFOR in your corner) was one of the emcees and he talked with Lacey and Brock after they danced.

Earlier in the day, he was all up in my corner. 

He had fun, because Lacey had shared with him about her "Dance Nightmares".   I have to tell you... Lacey had mega dance nightmares before the event.    She was wearing a dress that Niecy Nash wore on Season 6 of DWTS, and if you remember, Niecy was super endowed in the upper region.  Lacey was endowed with organizational skills, and a photographic memory, but in the upper region, she takes after her mama.  SO, she got superdeeduper, what she calls, her plastic rack, and in her dream, they just pop out, or slide out of place at the most inopportune times.   Then while fighting to keep her fake rake in check, she and Brock are trying to do the dance in her dream, and ALL the other dancers are on the stage practicing, all up in their business.   She realizes once she is on stage, that she has forgotten her shoes, and stinkin Scott Hines is there telling her that all she needs to do is paperclip them on, and she'll be good to go.   Then when they FINALLY get the dancers off the stage, her shoes NOT paperclipped on, and getting ready to roll, they play the wrong music.  Two of those things happened during the run through.  (her boobs remained firmly in place, I'm happy to report), and she searched me out with her brown eyes SO WIDE  "MOM, two of my nightmare dance dream has come true"... which made me tell her... well good, that should be all, then.   Which, thankfully, it was.   Whew.  Close one. 

The "runthrough" earlier in the day.  Wrong music, people everywhere. 

Lance West, Amanda Taylor and Cherokee Ballard were judges and at the run through I got this great picture of them, giving their votes.... Lance's  "Me Likey"  was my favorite.   Amanda's "Beautiful" was icing on the cake.  Cherokee Ballard had to beat it, so she didn't make my blog.  I doubt she'll lose sleep.

Overall, Lacey raised probably close to $10,000 for CMN, and took home the 3rd place "STAR", and she was thrilled and honored. 

It was all about the money for this event, but if there had been a CROWD "Who stole your heart" award, it would have been Lacey and Laynie and Brock, hands down. 

God continues to bless our family with amazing opportunities, and wonderful lifelong friends.   And He even knows how to keep a Peach dress on a beautiful girl, all her "Top Junk" intact.   All in all, one of the proudest days of this mama's life. 

I think Laynie's mama did her daughter proud. 

I just bet someone else was smiling this big at her from above. 

God is good, all the time. 

Lifegroups and Laynie Love

I spoke with my first lifegroup last night.  What a lovely bunch of Christ followers.  "Got Passion life group!" led by Kenny and Kaye Bush in Edmond...  wow.

Let me just say, they started with pizza and pink lemonade icebox pie, and I have to say, that is one way in this girl's heart.  Straight through her tummy.   Yum.

I recognized an older gentleman sitting there, but I couldn't place him for the life of me.  Frustration.....who is that??????
After filling our tummys, we all make our way to the front room, and Kenny starts off with some thoughts, and leads us into worship.  He randomly picks a song, and what should play but  "Revelation Song"... the very song we were listening to when Laynie passed away, then subsequently played at her celebration of life.   It was a powerful moment for me friends.  If ever God was present, it was then.  I had nothing but the most intense calming sense come over me.   I shared, for the next hour, our walk with Laynie.   I glanced around, and noticed that the older gentleman would be closing his eyes in some parts, (as if in prayer).. it felt profound and powerful.

Let me back up.  This isn't just any ordinary group.  This is a full out believer of Jesus Christ prayer warriors, that I have stumbled (uhm, right) upon.  One of the ladies in the group shared that she had terrible tumors on her fingers and was facing surgery and biopsies and through the older man anointing her, and praying over her, she was TOTALLY HEALED in three days.   100% healed.   I haven't dropped in by accident, I have been led. 

I finish sharing her story, and video, and as we all wipe our eyes and I start answering questions, I notice the older gentleman reading in his bible.  Laynie's video is still on the screen, and it is at it's final screen, which are her dates, and a scrolling diary of the pictures. 

Israel (his name) speaks up and says... "Her death date is a powerful date.....POWERFUL.   7-10-10 ....
The seven stands for rest, and what more perfect way to meet God, but on the day of rest... but the 10:10  taken from John  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."  

I've never felt such utter peace and knowledge that I am doing the right thing.  I have no doubt that the enemy will attack us and try to stop us, so I would appreciate everyone's prayer over my entire family.   Prayers to keep us close and safe. 

Right after I started helping with SWITCH (youth groups) we had a video on a man that moved me to tears.  I was so blown away by his story, I shared it with my family, my workers, my lifegroup, I just couldn't NOT tell people his story.   As I was leaving, Kenny said "I put one of Israel's videos in your bag to share with you, I hope you like it."  Well because I didn't carry the bag in with me last night, as it was so late, I didn't see the video until I was walking into work.  I grabbed it out of the bag, and glanced at it as I was walking.  As it dawned on me what I was holding my footsteps faltered, then stopped.  Israel (Jim) Hanna was the man in the video, and he was the man at the lifegroup.  My eyes filled with tears and my ears started ringing because the story I had shared with so many people, after seeing this very video, his powerful testament of faith and hope, this man that overcame every adversity, had given witness to my story of Laynie.  And his subsequent thoughts on her death date became a powerful thing to me.  And the fact that he had anointed and HEALED his fellow lifegroup member, the overwhelmingness of it just overpowered me.

I've limited God.  I've never given him free reign over my life.  I've taken what I've needed and not fully given of myself.  When you finally push off from the shore and start swimming, can you truly put yourself out there to see what God has in store.   As long as you sit in your house, and keep quiet and don't share and don't be bold...God is limited.   No more.  The possibilities are endless....  I am here to see it through.

I suggest you watch this at some point.  Don't limit God.