People you Should Know- Day Fifteen

I've decided to rename the Experiment Comment to "PEOPLE YOU SHOULD KNOW", because, well, frankly, you should know all my friends.   And I have something wonderful to share about the majority of them. (and the rest, well, I'll make something up :)  And, well, life is short and I'm not sure everyone of them know how I feel, so hopefully I will have 150 more days (exactly how many people I have to go) and get to tell about all the people I want to talk about. And I don't mean  "Talk about" like Gee, let me tell you this about her, but "Talk about" like, this is the coolest person and you should know them.

Capiche?

I've known this gal since grade school.  She was a hip fashionista even then.  Braces, hair that flipped out, (I so tried to mimic that flip) cool glasses, every hair in place, knee socks and skirts.  She ruled the playground.  She was a couple of years older than me, so I always sat in awe when she rolled around where I could see her.  She and I shared the same piano teacher growing up, and sat through many piano recitals together, or I would have been a little tiny blip on her radar of life growing up.  As it was, we actually bonded (even though she was far more mature than I) and became friends.  She was a cheerleader, bookworm, outgoing social butterfly of the highest magnitude, and I always admired her with all my heart.

I, of course, am talking about my sweet friend, Shelley Swope Wall.

Fact about her that might have been forgotten, she was Miss Shawnee 1979.  I somehow thought I could navigate the pageant circuit for one insane moment in 1980, (between people pushing me to play the piano and sing my one and only song I've ever written, and my desire to win a scholarship so I could go to college) I found myself walking that lit stage.  Shelley had managed to walk that stage  (face it, THAT girl's WHOLE life is a stage), and was the reigning Miss Shawnee.  She cracked me up, everyday during that tumultous two week period that was the Miss Shawnee pageant.  I would love to say I earned the coveted crown from her, but the truth was, I didn't even place.  But I did get something that was just as cool, in my eyes,  Miss Congeniality.   Funny truth, my neighbor called me the day after the pageant and said  "Laura, it's so much better to be nice, than pretty".  Sigh.  Don't I know that one.  Shelley had the combination of both, beautiful inside and out. 

After that I ran into her in Shawnee over the next few years, and she is one tough, resilient gal.  She fought and beat skin cancer, and married one of Shawnee's coolest men.  They just celebrated their 30th anniversary this past December and took their 2 kids and respective others with them on a cruise. 



This is why I love her, we are both crazy and would do anything to crack up our kids



I had reconnected with Shelley, on a day to day basis, through facebook, and we had become good friends, her even making the trip to Norman to meet Miss Laynie.  The day I got the call, November 3, 2009 that Laynie had been admitted to the ER, I was in Shawnee working and had to make that blinding, paralyzing drive to Children's Hospital .  I remembered that Shelley had said, "Call me anytime", and sometimes people say that, and you know they kind of mean it, Well, Shelley meant it.   I called her on her cell, and she was sitting down to eat at Abuelita's in Shawnee, and she excused herself from the table, and went outside the restaurant and prayed with me, all the way to the city.  I didn't experience one moment of panic or worry, because Shelley prayed it all away, on that 40 minute drive.   Some friends are precious gifts. 

 I haven't gotten the pleasure to spent much time with Tanner, her son, but I know he is a funny man, and I like that a bunch.  I have had the priviledge of meeting Kelsey, and she is one talented, precious heart-ed person.  She and Shelley were 2 of Laynie's biggest fans, and Kelsey ran in Laynie's run this past March and took 1st in the 15k.  It was sooo cold that day, that I think I finally thawed out last week.  After a summer of 100 degree days, that can give you a small indicator of just how cold it was that day, that it took a summer of 63 consecutive 100 degree days to thaw me out,  and that girl kicked it in the face. 

They are all OSU graduates, and the Pokes biggest fans, and I do believe if you cut any of this families fingers, they will bleed orange.  I absolutely dig that about them.

Shelley raised herself some wonderful kiddos, and was a huge support to me at Laynie's funeral.  She gave me arms to fall into when I needed a hug, and a reassuring rub on the back, when I wasn't sure I could go any further that day.

Shelley has been a wonderful voice in my day to day life. That is what you call a sister.  She will forever be Miss Shawnee to me.  She's beautiful inside and out, and I treasure her.

Restless Pursuit

Sunday Craig preached (and it was some GOOD preachin') on Nehemiah.  He challenged his churches to become leaders.  One thing that stood out to me was when he said  "Real leaders work, while the others sleep".  It's been so weird to me that I have been waking up (fully awake) at 5:30 am.  I had been racking it up to old/middle age, but in truth, it's been God working in me to GET UP OUT OF THE DANG BED AND WRITE YOUR STUFF.  It's that easy. 

He challenged us to think about what we want to do and put it in a simple mission plan and go after it.  What breaks your heart?  What makes you want to do something?  What can you not idly by and watch anymore?   Bullying?  Child Abuse?  Domestic Violence?   Animal Cruelty?  Elder abuse?  Drug addiction?  What breaks your heart???

I was sickened at myself that I didn't have a ready answer.  I am so desensitized to the problems of the world, because the news screams it, the papers write about it, the people turn their heads and walk on, the world is SO broken.   Free will has broken this world. 

We sit in our air conditioned houses, eating take out food, worrying about the boat payment.  And if you are squirming, good.  It took me losing EVERYTHING, to understand the value of having LITTLE. 

I read through Habbukuk last night, and was overwhelmed.  I used to use the excuse, "Nothing in that bible makes sense to me, it's a bunch of thee's and thou's and whilst's, and it just doesn't apply to today".   Pssshhhh.   Poppycock.   It was an EXCUSE to not read it.   AN EXCUSE.   The answers to every one of my problems lay in the book buried in my basket by my bed.   I struggled, worried, deliberated, fought, hated, controlled everything in my world...... and it got me NOTHING.  I showed up at church, listened to the music, paid my tithe and went home and lived my life.  I expected God to do the miraculous things he does, but I wasn't willing to get to know him. 

How many of you read in the papers that a rich person dies, and then all the sudden all these people show up for their "Inheritance".  "Hey, I was related to him.... hey, my mom was his sister.......I DESERVE some of the riches!"    I see or read that, and I'm like..... "Why should they get any of that inheritance??  They didn't show up and wipe that dead person's nose.  They didn't show up and help when he needed it.."  Basically, you show up for the good stuff, but you have no day to day relationship.   Why in the world do you think you are entitled to this dead man's kingdom??

That was me.  Believing that the bare minimum of contact with God would be enough.  I can't believe I used to boast and say  "I may be a bag lady in heaven, but I'm going to be there". And as gracious and loving as our Father is, it might be enough to just be a "bag lady".   But when I roll down the kingdom of heaven, I want to know the stories, I want to be intimately acquainted with the people there.    I want to run up to Abraham and say  "Grandfather!"  and probably follow it with  "You were DANG OLD when you started having kids, and THANK YOU"   I want to find Nehemiah and tell him that he inspired me to be a better leader.   Reach people and help them start fixing all the broken things in their life by simply fixing the gate in their own front yard.    The wall of Jerusalem had been destroyed for over 100 years.  One man, Nehemiah, said, "That's it, I can't stand it, I have to fix it" .... he enlisted the people of the city to help him  (They had walked by that broken wall for years, doing nothing about it and just let it become a part of their life) and challenged them to   "FIX the wall directly in front of your home.... and don't be a slug about it, because just think...when this wall is finished and all the rest of your neighbors have built a solid tall, inpenetrable wall, you won't want to be the one neighbor that threw his up, and all the attacking armies use your wall".....   That was herd mentality thinking at it's finest.   Tell one to do it, and they all will.  I work best in herd mentality.  It's true.

People.  I cannot believe I wasted 50 years getting to this real truth.  Seek God in everything.  Do life with a prayer in your heart and His will for you foremost.  I understand that this might be something that is so foreign to you (like eating cheese for me), that you are going, I DON"T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START!  It's easy....  pray with me ..    "God, work Your will in my life, and let my eyes stay on You".    That's a good start.  And go dig your bible out of the basket beside your bed.  And get started.  Don't use excuses like I did for YEARS to not read the bible.   Instead, embrace it and start getting to know your great uncle's best friend's Uncle Jesus, cause he already died to save you,  and before YOU are gone, put in the time to really, really know Him.

Life finally makes sense to me. And it was smack dab in front of me all these years.  Just restlessly pursue God.  He will open your eyes and give you peace. 

People You Should Know- Day Fourteen part 2

I have such a huge variety of friends on my wall it's amazing.  I broke 1000 friends this week and Hallie said "There is NO way you know that many people".   It's kind of crazy, but YES, I do know, personally, the majority of people on my page.  There are a few, that are monumental Laynie followers, that I've gotten to know through her, but for the most part, probably 950 of them, I know purty good.  Where they live, what food they eat, that kind of stuff. 

I want you to meet one of them, because you may be in need of his services. 

Isn't it so funny how timing is everything?  And how when you really get to digging about someone that you usually have a friend in common.  Or they are relatives to someone you know.  Or they went to school with you brother's ex-wife's cousin??  It's just a weird, Kevin Bacon'ish six degrees of separation type dealio. 

I was working at home when my phone rang one day, and I had been mulling in my head that I needed to get new insurance.  I didn't even know my agent, and I felt that my rates were way high, and I just wanted to feel "IN CONTROL'.  (whatever).    So of course, my phone rings and it's some bubbly person on the other end asking if I'd like to get an insurance quote, and could her agent come over.  Well, hello, Serendipity.  Please do. 

Enter John Willeford. 

Now, he is about the cutest thing on the planet, since cute started years ago.  If you look up the word, CUTE in the dictionary, I'm pretty sure that John Willeford's picture is stinkin' right there.  He is just that CUTE.

And the fact that once he got to my house, I found out he was married to one of Lacey's friends from HS, Ashley, and her mom, Teresa, was a fellow "Oldie but goodie" mommy at my old church in HS (in other words, we gave birth to babies when we were probably "Past our Prime", she going for broke and having TWINS at almost 40).  So I'm already a fan, because I love his wife, and in-laws.

So, I gave all my insurance to John  (not that it was a ton, but he got me lock, stock and barrel).  Then he got Lacey, and my mom, and finally rounded up the family with my brother.  So, I'd pretty much say, our wagons are hitched to his star. 

Because he and Ashley are the "Cute" definition in the dictionary....it only goes to expect that their daughter, Paisley, should be one of the cutest little girls I have ever seen.  I mean, really.  REALLY.   Really really. 

She just celebrated her third birthday and I think she is the most friendly little girl and a living doll.

John is a fabulous daddy.  He is hands on, and spends as much time as he can with his two girls.  It makes my heart happy to see this family.   They mean a lot to our family.... and here's why. 

Now I don't promise that he will give you this kind of service, but John hasn't just been a fly by when it has come to our family stuff.  He was one of Laynie's most ardent admirers.   Ashley and Teresa (her mom), came to the hospital when Laynie was born and stood over her in the NICU and cried with me.  They brought the most precious little girl outfits and stood with us in the determined "She will make it" stance, that so many of our friends brought to us during those few difficult weeks after her birth. 

John showed up at blood drives, gave blood at blood drives, and solidly passed out at blood drives.  He was my hero.

I knew he was going down, because I know all the signs.  THat's usually me in that position, so it makes me happy it was someone else.   But the Willeford's were there, that's all that matters.

Then, I introduced John to Scentsy and he singlehandedly got me promoted to director.  The dude LOVES scentsy.  He gave scentsy to everyone in his office and got them hooked, he gave it to all the females in his family and got them hooked, and he has been instrumental in keeping me in scentsy since I started.  He is my scentsy guru.   Gotta love a man secure enough in his manhood, to love him some scentsy. 

Then his willingness to run, in the freezing cold, at Laynie's run, this past March. 

He also sponsored her tshirts and is one of the reasons we got them for such a great price. 

I can't say enough good things about this guy and his sweet girls.  The Willefords are family to us, and we hold them in such a close, loving spot.  I highly recommend John for your insurance needs.   He is someone you can trust, and depend on..... and that is very very rare in this ole world. 

John knows me pretty well, because his comment on my experiment was  "Just what in the HECK are you up to now?".   He was just hoping it wouldn't involve a roof claim.  (inside joke).  

Farmer's  -  John Willeford..... google him and let him start being your friend and agent....he's a Keeper. 





Fellow Grandmas - Day Fourteen

I had fallen off the map on the comment experience, and I find myself with some time this afternoon, so I am going to make up for lost time.  So YES, I AM BACK with the fun and anticipated COMMENT EXPERIENCE blogs....

The next three ladies don't know each other, but all three of them are grandmas and ROCK their facebook pages with comments about their grandkids, or pictures of their grandkids and I am here to tell you, they are 3 terrific grannies. 

Their comments were all so sweet ....  "My nutty friend" ......   "I saw you at church on Sunday" ..... and  "I love your posts".

So no fun pictures to go with those comments, just a big ole  "AWWWWW' my friends rock my world, and without further ado.....

Grandma Blog.

So to start out with , I will tell you about Alesia Almand Reed.  Lisa lives in Las Vegas, and we went to school together back in the HS days.  We have connected back through FB, and I have enjoyed seeing her family and getting to "Reacquaint" myself with my younger classmates  (she's a couple of years younger).. :)

She is Grammy to Brayden and I think he is the cutest pinchy cheek little bubba I have ever seen. 

This one made my day when she posted it the other day.   I dig guys that wear hats.  Yes I do. 


Next is a friend from when I was first selling AVON, back when I was in college.  I was a maniac then.  I worked at the Library, worked at 7-11 on the weekends, went to college full-time at SJC, and sold Avon for giggles.  Beverly Banning  lived on Center street, and took pity on me knocking on doors, and let me in.  She bought a bang load of AVON from this broke college student and I will forever thank her for it.  We reconnected on Facebook also, and she has been a HUGE prayer warrior for me.  We are sisters all the way to our toes, when it comes to prayer and knowing who has us.  SISTERS. 

She is MiMi to two of the sweetest faces ever.  Kinley is the princess, and Carter is the Prince of the Banning family.

Kinley was three here, so this has been a while back, but really??  Who doesn't love a woman in RED?  Precious.

And I don't know about you, but the messier a baby gets while they are eating, the more successful I feel about the whole meal experience.  I mean, really, when you drop food all over your shirt, haven't you ENJOYED your meal??  Carter is happy about everything food in this picture, and I just LOVE it. 

Last, but certainly not least in my Grandma post today, is  Tammy George.   Tammy has 5 kids.  2 sons and 3 daughters.  2 of those daughters did Pom Pon in high school with my daughters.  We have walked through the fire of Pom and came out virtually unscathed.  Only pom moms will understand this description.  And, hoo boy, they will.   I don't know Tammy's boys or her oldest daughter Amber very well, but I know her two babies, Jennifer and Robyn, and they are very close to Lolly's heart.  Jennifer was Lacey's first car wreck, in HS, when she drove her Mazda 3 up under a bus when it's lights didn't work and Jen was bringing Lacey home from pom.  She was also her mentor, and dear friend, and helped her learn to do proper toe touches, by making her do 100 in a row in our back yard.  That's a real friend.   Robyn was Miss Personality Plus, and one thing about Robyn, you always knew where you stood.  No grey area whatsoever.  I love that about the George women.   Tammy has a bunch of family.   Just Look for yourself.

I don't know where they were going in their lookalike shirts, but they just make me smile looking at them.  Tammy lost a son when he was just out of HS to cancer, and it was one of the hardest things that family had faced.  He left behind a son, that they all cherish, so his life lives on.  Amber has two children, Jennifer has two girls, and Robyn has two girls... So that is one family of cheer and pom waiting to happen. 

I have to admit, Tammy George is one hot granny. 

Look at these precious angels.  There is another girl now, not in this pic, so her quiver is FULL.

Recently, Tammy was running Gracie to school, because she had forgotten a book, and they were just traveling down Westminster, when a truck crossed the divider line in the road and caused Tammy to take a direct hit.  In a split second, she had to assess what was happening, make a decision to go off the road (ravine) and chance taking Gracie's life, or take the hit head on into her door and put her own life at risk.  She didn't even flinch as she took the truck head on into her side, and broke fingers on her hand, holding Gracie to safety on her side.  Grandma's instinct.  Grandma's love.  Selfless, unending, unwavering, she took the hit. 

She suffered a broken back and several other injuries, but I'm happy to report, back at home, back on facebook, ready to face another day  (when she gets released from her house).  Angels surrounded her and Gracie that day.  I just want to tell you.  Angels were present. 

Fun side story.  Gracie is 10.  She is George through and through.  Most of the time, police don't take statements from kids, but she was so dead on from what happened, with exact details, he decided to take her statement.  She started with   "THAT IDIOT, crossed the line into my nana's side and HIT us dead on".  (I can just see her, all bowed up, with that hand on her hip, telling him what for)  Oh, I love me some George women. 

Grandmas rock.  We had no idea when we were growing up, how much fun it was going to be being a gma. 



Stay in the Boat

You have heard me say this so many times it's ridiculous.  Just quit saying it already, I hear you saying.

Can't.

Won't.

Isn't possible.

Because, staying true to the course you are on, especially if it's walking in God's will, is right where you are supposed to be.  

The world is broken.  There is no doubt.  Crap happens every day that I scratch my head out and say, "WHY?".   I am making no money these days.   Little to none.  Non-profit is non-profit for a reason, they don't pay big salaries.  But the joy you take home with you on a daily basis is so much bigger than a hefty salary.  The contentment of knowing you are making a difference.   Priceless.

Now I'm sounding like a sappy Hallmark commercial.  or Holiday Inn, I forget, but my point is.....

I can see God working in my life every single day.   And what that has given me is total freedom.

Freedom from worry, from fear, from doubt.  Now, don't get me wrong, it's not all sunshine and skittles, I still have sadness, pain, loneliness, and unexpected bad, but I am so firmly rooted in my no fear, no doubt zone, that I experience the feelings, but that pain and fear has no hold on me. 

I used to worry myself into a sick coma over bills.  Financially worried all the time.  I tithed only in spurts, and wasn't faithful in prayer, reading the bible, etc, and I was a worried piece of poopy.  Most all the time.  These days, I know on payday, I'm going to experience a modicum of angst.  Mainly because I wish I could sell my car and be just that much more ahead, but I digress.  I know even though I make EXACTLY what I need (and not one penny more) that God is going to provide for me, my exact needs.   Now that doesn't mean I go on a wild spending spree and expect him to clean up the backlash.  He PROVIDES every need. And it's eerie.  And cool.   And awesome.   God is bigger than anything our silly little worldly minds can comprehend.  He has delivered a worry wart of the highest magnitude out of doubt, and made me into a belief spouting crazy.  My poor lifegroup just looks at me and thinks  "WOW, she's different".  and that's ok.  It took me 50 years to get here.  And God just asks me to stay in the boat.


I'm in the boat.  The worry free, fearless, no doubt boat ride.  And I'm truly free, for the first time in my life. The storms can be all around me, and I'm just hanging out in the boat, playing cards and enjoying life, hanging out with my BFF, Jesus Christ. 

Feel free to join me.

What is wrong with me?

I have the best intentions.  And at church, Craig was talking about how TIME seems to be everyone's biggest enemy.   "I can't go to church, I don't have time"... "I can't go to my kids stuff, there isn't time".... "I can't read my bible, I just ran out of time".....  Time, time, time. 

Holy cow.

Several things happened since I wrote last.  Kip left for her 11 month, 11 country mission trip.  She is in Mindenao, Phillipines as I type.  She will be there until October 17, then she will be going to another country that I can't even type the name on any social media, as it could jeopordize their safety.  Doesn't that just make you feel warm and fuzzy?   Me, either.

It was all I could do to let her go the morning she left.  It was the ugly cry from all the people left behind.  On the way home from the airport, as Lacey and Hallie both took turns crying, I looked at them and said,  "For the love of Pete,  you still have each other".... to which Lacey thought a minute, and said to her baby sister... "You must learn a TON of movie quotes quickly, and learn how to know what I'm saying without me finishing my sentences"..... to which Hallie sniffed and replied,  "Write it in my training manual.".    Oh my girls. 

Kip (kind of in the middle with the red packs and rolled up jeans) at the airport in Atlanta.

Loading the bus from airport. Didn't realize Kip had taken up guitar.  She and Hal can start a band.

The one thing about Kip, she can SLEEP ANYWHERE, anyhow.  Standing up in a corner, sitting straight up, if she is sleepy...the girl is asleep.  

Her first morning in Manila, we caught her on Skype, and took a ton of pics of her.  She is so beautiful.

I spoke for Lacey at the Epworth Methodist Church's monthly ladies meeting in Chickasha, on September 6.  145 ladies were present, and WOW, was that fun.  The lady that arranges the speakers to talk, had seen our story in the newspaper, when Laynie was in the dance off this past spring, and all the press was happening, and she contacted Lacey and said, "I want you at our first meeting this fall".   As luck would have it, Lacey's big class in graduate school happens the same night as the dinner, so I got to fill in.   And I am SOO happy I did.   I have been going to lifegroups telling her story, so I was really practiced up.  I have it down to a 40 minute art.  I added a powerpoint of pictures with it for this talk, and it was a good thing I practiced the afternoon before I went, because I just bawled like a baby telling it.  It's been one year and a half, and I still get choked up talking about the wonder and magic that was Laynie.  I think half of the ladies came up after the talk and wanted a hug.  It was an honor to hug them.  It was an honor to share her.  I have found, seriously, truly found, what I'm supposed to do.  I feel totally comfortable sharing her story, and I can see it change and inspire people.  That's what life is all about. 

Hallie turned 13, and Lacey, Gram and I had a bday party for her in Gram's backyard, consisting of 17 12-13 year olds. (boys and girls).   It was madness, chaos, and fun.  Lacey organized "Minute to win it" games and the kids played those, they played with a volleyball, played a little spontaneous "Duck, Duck, Goose", and wrapped the evening up with Hallie serenading them with her guitar.   It was a dang good 13 year old party, if I say so myself.  Lacey likes toddlers better, but give me mouthy pre-teens anyday. 

So, yes, I have been BUSY, but it's still no excuse to keep this site updated.  So many wonderful things going on every day.  God is blessing my family, and testing us all at the same time.  Be in prayer for all of us, as we all face a new year.  Kip, in her travels.... Hallie, in her 13 year old world of temptation and angst.... Lacey, in her job and work.... and me, as I seek God's will for my life, and His plan for me. 

I will do better.  I have a bunch of people I need to comment on their comments... and it is coming  (as soon as I find that sheet....yes, I cleaned my office and it's awesome and I can't find squat diddly).

It's hard on Hallie's bday, because it's 9-11, and we always feel the pull of the loss of 2001, but on September 12, 1994 we lost an even bigger part of our lives, my precious daddy.  This is always a hard time of year for me anyway... (I always say God gave us Hallie in September, to give us something joyful to celebrate), and this year was no exception.   I am honored to live in this country.   I am humbled that I am able to travel and share Laynie's story, and tell of God's love and His personal touch on our lives.  Tomorrow may be uncertain, but I know where I am going, and I know how many people I am going to share God's love with before I get there, so it's all downhill from here. 

God is good, all the time. 

What is your Dot??

It has been a while since I have written.  I have thought of you often, usually as I'm running in the house to change clothes, and to run right back out to go do whatever that evening is assigned.  It's chaos, It's madness, It's my life as I know it. 

  

Life is moving very quickly now. 

Faster than ever.

I am leading a lifegroup at church.  I have an incredible bunch of singles in my group, and they challenge me to be a leader.  There are a couple that have been believers awhile, but for the most part, all pretty new to this "God" thing.   It's ok, so am I.  Last night we made a pact, "Whatever happens at lifegroup, stays at lifegroup"... so in keeping with that, I am going to share only what I spoke to them about....

Last night, we talked about relationships.  I shared with them that though I had been in church all my life, I had no idea what a relationship with God looked like until I started at Lifechurch.   I asked them to imagine meeting someone so special, and wanting to get to know them.  You both immediately start texting, and calling, and asking a zillion questions, and sending stalker emails 12 times a day  (Ok, maybe I just revealed why I am single).  

You may ask why I have a picture of Edward and Bella here, in my defense, I am a "Twerd" and I happen to LOVE their relationship... (plus it was all Google images gave me when I typed in "GOOGOO eyes in Love")    BUT BACK TO MY POINT..when you start a relationship with someone, You SEEK the other person out. 

People will wonder why God isn't real to them.  Why God doesn't answer their prayers or seem to care about them.  It's because they don't have a real relationship with him!   What if Bella would have only talked to Edward one hour a day on Sundays???  How long would that have lasted??  (Ok, maybe I shouldn't be using vampires as an example here)

BUT, God needs more than 1 hour in church from you.  He needs you to seek Him, and read His love letter to you (The Bible), and spend time talking to you (Prayer), and sharing Him with your friends (like you would any new guy....you tell EVERYONE how great he is....even total strangers who could care less).....WHY would you think that GOD wouldn't want that from you?  And even more so, WHY wouldn't you WANT to KNOW him.  I mean really understand and KNOW him.  That takes time, commitment, effort. 

Hallie wants to play volleyball.  She has the build and amazingly, the coordination for it, but she doesn't KNOW how to play.  She went one time... ('I'm so bad"),  two times  ("I'm even worse today")... three times  ("I need to give up"), and then the fourth, fifth, sixth time, and today, after applying herself to volleyball for three solid weeks, she got in the car, and she said  "I didn't suck today".   WOOHOO!  "The coach spent time with me one on one, and I learned some things".    What if she gave up after the second time?  What if she didn't stay with it, and watch volleyball at OU, and talk volleyball with her sisters, and practice in the backyard for hours.... she would NEVER get the college scholarship I am holding my breath for.   DO YOU see what I am trying to say?? 

YOU MUST SEEK HIM.  He is the ONLY relationship in the WORLD that matters.   If you aren't finding contentment anywhere you turn in your life...your job stinks, your boyfriend's a jerk, your friend betrayed you, you have no money, you have no time, your kids are rebellious, your marriage is in shambles......   It consumes your every second, worrying about that. 

Imagine this picture is your big bad worry.  The dot in the corner is God.  All the white space surrounding that dot, are all your worries and problems, everyday, just taking up all your time and energy.  You push God down into a corner, and take all that worry on yourself.   Admit it, you do.   I know I am guilty, or I was.... until I heard at a ladies conference, to just imagine the freedom (if you dare to let go of the control) to let God be such a STAPLE in your life, and you are so focused on HIM, and HIS plan for your life, and HIS direction for YOU, that HE becomes the beautiful white space, and that worry becomes the dot.   It's freeing, It's lifechanging.   And it's VERY VERY real.  Trust me on this one. 

People will ask me,  "How do I find the happiness you have?"   And I will I tell them... I changed my dot priority.  God's not the dot anymore.   God is my constant companion, friend and mentor.  He walks with me wherever I go, he talks with me when I think I'm alone, He is there everytime I falter.   And He's there for you too,   all you have to do is turn around and ask Him in.  Trust me, ALL the same worries are there.  EVEN more than I can take in a given day, but I changed my dot priority.  The problems don't consume me anymore, cause God can handle them far better than I.    Give God a chance to be more than a dot in your life.   Let HIM be YOUR life.   You will have riches more than silver...  He will love you with a love that is beyond words, and BLESS you more than I can tell you.  Happiness is that close for anyone.  You won't find it in wordly things,   You'll only find it in Him.  I know.  Because I did.   Just swap the dots.  What do you have to lose?